Void
by parma-violets
Summary: She doesn’t know this stranger who is so insistent on helping her. But he could be the key to saving her soul … An SxS fic set in a world where the Void has taken Sakura's feelings and memories of Syaoran. Sister story to 'One Week'.
1. Missing

**Void**

**A/N:** Well guys, it's out later than I wanted it to be, but I hope you all forgive me. So, to celebrate the new year, here's the first chapter of my new fic! Yay!

Firstly: is this a sequel to 'One Week'?

Yes and no (not helpful, parma-chan). This story is set in the same world as 'One Week', but it's not quite a sequel. Imagine it replacing the last chapter – sort of an alternative ending. So new readers, you don't have to read 'One Week' in order to get this, though it may make things a little clearer if you do.

The readers of my previous fic will be familiar with the world in which I have set this story, but for new readers, let me do the explanations now: At the end of the second movie, Sakura is told she has to make a sacrifice of her feelings for Syaoran in order to seal Clow's final card, the Void. Of course, in the film, everything ends happily, but in this world, Sakura's feelings and memories of Syaoran were taken as payment so that she could seal the card. Syaoran then left for Hong Kong, and she forgot all about him. It's now ten years later, and Syaoran has stumbled across her working in a coffee shop … just at the same time that the sealed Void Card has decided it's no longer satisfied with just being sealed …

Enough of me, let's get on with it. Oh, and Happy New Year, guys!

**Disclaimer:** I'm only saying it once, so pay attention class: I don't own it. That privilege belongs to the wonder that is CLAMP.

I also want to say that the majority of this plot, particularly the beginning, was suggested and written out for me by dreamschemer, who was kind enough to take the time to provide a plot when I was completely stumped. So major credit to her ;p

**Dedicated to:** The reviewers of 'One Week'. You've all been so amazingly kind – reading your reviews is what inspired me to keep going with this one every time I got stuck! Huge thanks to all of you – I hope you like this!

**Chapter One: Missing**

Kinomoto Sakura was truly stumped.

It was only a top, she knew. She could quite easily go back into her room and choose something else to wear to work that day – in fact, that would be the most sensible course of action as it wouldn't result in her being late to work for the third time that week. But the point was she _knew _the top had to be somewhere in the apartment – there was nowhere else it could be – and she refused to admit defeat and add yet another missing item onto her ever-growing list.

"Sakura-chan … why would your top be in the dishwasher?"

Sakura looked up to see her best friend and roommate standing in the kitchen doorway, watching her root through the dishwasher with an amused smile on her face.

"It _has _to be in the apartment," Sakura replied determinedly, straightening up and starting to go through the nearby cupboards. "I remember ironing it yesterday and putting it in my closet, and I know I haven't moved it since then – are you sure you haven't borrowed it?"

"I never borrow your things without asking permission," Tomoyo replied, and Sakura knew that was true.

"I just don't get it!" she wailed, spinning around in a circle as though hoping a flash of green material would suddenly catch her eye. "Things don't just disappear into thin air like this!"

Tomoyo giggled. "They seem to around you. How many things have you lost this week now? Your watch, your black pumps, your nail varnish …" She began to hunt for some eggs in the fridge as she continued her list. "… Your hair brush, your brand new and horrendously expensive Gucci handbag –" She turned to Sakura, grinning slightly, but the smile froze on her face when she saw that her friend wasn't joining in on the joke. If anything, Sakura looked like she was about to cry.

"Hey …" Tomoyo said anxiously, realising she'd unwittingly upset her best friend. "It's only a top, Sakura-chan. It'll turn up!"

Sakura started, as though just realising that she'd let her feelings show in her expression, and hurriedly placed a smile on her face. "Of course it will! You know me, I'm just being scatterbrained …"

Tomoyo frowned uncertainly. "Sakura-chan …"

"I'd better go find something else to wear!" Sakura interrupted in that strangely false voice, tugging at her pyjama top self-consciously. "Kenji-san will kill me if I'm late again!"

"Do you want breakfast?" Tomoyo tried, not knowing what else to say.

"I won't, but thank you!" Sakura sang with a beaming smile, before hurrying into her bedroom to find alternative clothing.

Tomoyo stared worriedly at her friend's closed bedroom door, clutching the eggs in her hand dangerously tightly. It had been such an odd exchange … something so silly for Sakura, the eternal optimist, to get upset over. She was probably just tired and would forget all about it once she got to work.

So why did Tomoyo have the strongest feeling that something was really wrong?

**xxx**

"I sorry – I'm so, so sorry – am I late?" Sakura panicked, running at high speed into the coffee shop where she worked. Several of the patrons stared at her a little oddly, while the regulars smiled in a knowing fashion – this happened more or less every morning.

Behind the counter, her boss shook his head despairingly. Takahashi Kenji was a middle-aged man, short and plump with hair that was peppered with grey strands. He was a good manager, and he was kind to all his staff, particularly Kinomoto Sakura – he knew she was a sweet young thing who always tried her best. But she was never, never there on time to start her shift.

"Sakura-san – we've talked about this …" he said, trying to make his voice sound strict.

"I know!" she cried, looking absolutely devastated. "I'm so sorry – I promise I'll try harder in future!"

He couldn't help it – she looked so forlorn standing there with wide eyes and wind tousled hair that he couldn't find it in his heart to stay mad at her. "Don't let it happen again," he sighed.

"I won't – oh, I promise, I'll be here on time tomorrow!" Sakura swore, bowing hurriedly before dashing out into the back rooms.

Kenji sighed again, knowing full well that she would be just as late tomorrow as she was today, no matter how hard she tried to keep her promise. He'd forgive her, though – she was an excellent waitress, and she brought in so many customers with her bright smile and friendly manner that she more than made up for a few late starts.

Sakura quickly threw her bag in a locker and clipped the key on the belt loop of her jeans, then hurriedly ran her fingers through her hair before deciding that she looked presentable enough to go out on the shop floor.

"Okay – I'm here and I'm ready to make coffee!" she announced, grabbing one of the dark green aprons from their hook and tying it around her waist.

"Ohayo, Sakura-chan!" her friend Hana called from behind the till, completely interrupting the man who had been giving her his order. "I love your earrings!"

Sakura laughed, flipping several switches as Hana's customer ordered a triple shot skinny dry cappuccino with vanilla syrup (Sakura suspected he'd ordered something so complicated just to spite her) and began to make the coffee. "Ohayo, Hana-chan. Ohayo, Michio-kun!" she greeted the newest member of staff, a skinny seventeen-year-old who was currently standing shyly in a corner.

"Um – uh – o-o-o-ohayo …" the poor boy stammered out, blushing furiously before dashing off to clear tables.

"Hoe?" Sakura muttered in confusion. Something about Michio's actions seemed strangely familiar.

"Aw, how cute!" Hana beamed. "I think Michio-kun has a crush on you!"

Sakura rolled her eyes. "I'm five years older than him!" she laughed.

"Oh please – age means nothing when it comes to matters of the heart!" Hana crowed, punching a triumphant fist in the air. "True love will conquer all boundaries –"

"Hana-chan, you have people waiting," Sakura pointed out, giggling slightly. She handed the cappuccino to its owner, who was shooting Hana an odd look.

"Well, I know I'm right," Hana announced confidently, continuing the conversation even as she took the orders of a long line of customers. "It's so obvious – so that's 650 yen to pay, thanks – bless his heart. And you don't help matters by smiling at him all the time."

"I'm not going to be mean to him because you think he has a crush on me!" Sakura cried, aghast.

"I don't think, I _know_," she insisted, sidling over to hand Sakura a paper cup she'd scrawled on. "And, _speaking _of people with a crush on you – your friend's sitting in his usual spot."

Sakura frowned in confusion. "Which friend?"

"You know – the ultra-cute guy who started coming in here a week ago?" Sakura could feel the blush spread across her cheeks as Hana sighed dreamily. "Oh, I could just eat him up with a spoon –"

"Hana-chan!" Sakura wailed, flushing hotly.

Hana laughed. "What a pity he's madly in love with you – I'd have him in a heartbeat otherwise."

"He is not in love with me!" Sakura insisted doggedly. "He's just a nice guy."

"Very nice," Hana grinned in approval.

"Hana-san, do I pay you to gossip?" Kenji asked as he breezed behind the counter, staring pointedly at the line of people waiting to be served. "I do not, I pay you to make coffee."

Hana huffed. In her mind, customers were a minor nuisance that got in the way of conversation.

"Sakura-san, I'm going to put Michio-san on the machines," Kenji continued. "Can you supervise him while I do some order forms in the office?"

Sakura beamed and nodded. "Not a problem."

Once she'd finished explaining a few buttons to Michio, Sakura stepped back and let him operate the machines himself. And as he did do, she allowed herself a sneaky glance at the man sitting in the far corner.

He was staring at her, she realised, and the thought made her feel all bubbly inside.

Realising he'd been caught, the man's eyes widened and a furious blush spread across his face, before he snatched up his paper and buried his nose in it.

Sakura giggled. He was so cute.

There was something strange about him, she couldn't deny it. He'd started coming in at the same time every day, dressed impeccably in an expensive suit, and would sit at the same table with a black coffee and a croissant in front of him. She'd chatted to him like she did with everybody, but he seemed almost … frightened of her? No, that wasn't right. In awe of her? Maybe.

He just seemed so _sad_. There was a strange shadow in his eyes every time he looked at her, and Sakura couldn't help but be curious about what had happened to him.

Her interest in him probably wasn't all that healthy, to be honest. She'd taken to watching the clock, waiting for him to arrive. And it wasn't anything to do with him being 'ultra-cute', as Hana had put it – although she couldn't deny that he _was _…

He made her heart hurt. She didn't know how else to put it. For as long as she could remember, she'd felt like something was missing. And now the feeling got stronger every time she saw him. Her chest ached when he did anything particularly cute or familiar – like scowling, or blushing, or the way his fingers rapped on the counter when she kept him waiting for his coffee. The strangest sense of longing welled up within her and she couldn't help but wonder why she felt like there was something she'd missed –

Her thoughts were interrupted by the loud clanging sound of tin colliding with a tile floor.

"Uh, Sakura-san … I think I messed up," Michio wailed miserably.

Sakura spent the next half hour sweeping coffee beans off the floor.

**xxx**

"Tadaima!" Sakura called as she let herself into the apartment, two bags of groceries balanced in her arms. "Tomoyo-chan?"

Sakura frowned when no one answered, but made her way into the kitchen. When she got there, she found a note from her best friend taped to the kitchen table.

_Sakura-chan,_

_Disaster at the studio. Izumi has torn a ream of 700,000-yen material. Had to go in to fix it. See you later._

_Tomoyo xxx_

Sakura winced, feeling sorry for her friend. Tomoyo was set on becoming a designer one day – she'd no doubt achieve it with the way she was going – but the job was incredibly high pressure, especially when something like that went wrong. Sakura knew she could never handle it, but Tomoyo did so with elegance and grace.

She started to put away the odds and ends of groceries she'd picked up on the way home from work, knowing that the rustle of the paper bags would no doubt attract the attention of her third roommate. Sure enough, as soon as the vegetables and other healthy items were safely away in the fridge, a small golden blur barrelled into the kitchen at high speed.

"FOOOOOOD!" it yelled at the top of its lungs. "Food! You went shopping? Why didn't you tell me? Did you get me cakes? Cookies? Pudding? Sakuraaaaaaa –"

"Here!" the poor girl cried, holding up a tube of cookie dough as a peace offering.

There was a pause as the creature analysed the gift, then deemed it satisfactory. "Yatta! Arigatou, Sakura-chan!" he crowed, before plunking himself down on the table and proceeding to stuff the entire thing in his mouth.

Sakura shook her head despairingly. "Kero-chan …"

"Hey, I need to eat!" he defended himself, brushing crumbs away from the corners of his mouth. "Anyway, how was your day? Did you find your top?"

Her face fell slightly; she'd forgotten all about that. But she smiled at Kero anyway, not wanting him to worry. "No, silly! I've been at work all day, haven't I?"

"You know, it's funny …" the creature mused, floating in the air with his legs and arms crossed. "Tomoyo-chan searched high and low for it after you left this morning, and she couldn't find it anywhere."

"Tomoyo-chan did that …?" Sakura asked, feeling incredibly guilty that she'd caused her friend so much trouble. "Oh, she's so silly … it was only a top …"

"She's worried about you. And so am I," Kero said bluntly, unusually serious.

"Worried about me?" Sakura echoed in disbelief. "Whatever for?"

"I don't think Tomoyo-chan knows why she's worried, but she has excellent intuition," Kero sighed. "She knows something's wrong."

"What's wrong?" Sakura asked in confusion.

"Sakura."

"I'm serious, Kero-chan! Everything's fine …" she insisted, almost genuinely believing her own words.

Her guardian stared at her pointedly. "I know, and I think you know too, that there's nothing normal about all these things that keep disappearing."

"Oh, Kero – I'm just being scatterbrained, that's all!" Sakura turned to start dinner, desperately wanting this conversation to be over. She didn't _want _anything to be wrong – she wanted her life to stay the way it was. Ordinary, but good. If Kero shut up, she'd be able to keep kidding herself for a little while longer.

Kero didn't take the hint. "I don't think that's what it is. It's just like before."

She turned back curiously. "Before?"

"You know what I mean," he sighed. "Before the Void revealed herself."

"The Void …" Sakura echoed, the name making her feel oddly cold inside. She wandered through to the living room, Kero close behind her, and pulled open the drawer in which she kept the Sakura Book.

"It was exactly like this before you sealed the card," Kero pointed out. "Random things kept disappearing all over the place."

Sakura frowned, trying to remember exactly what had happened back then. She remembered things disappearing, all right – it had been round about the time she and her class had been rehearsing for the play they were putting on for the Nadeshiko Festival. But try as she might, she couldn't remember anything a lot more detailed than that.

"I don't really remember," she confessed worriedly, pressing a hand lightly to her forehead. "Everything from back then seems … fuzzy."

"Well, it was a long time ago," Kero replied, waving a hand dismissively. "You were only what, twelve, thirteen?"

"Still, you'd think I'd remember something that important," Sakura said, more than a little frustrated with herself.

"The mind works in mysterious ways," Kero said vaguely, refusing to meet her eyes.

Sakura carefully took her cards out of the book, looking through them all one by one. Doing this always made her feel stronger and safer – each card had an aura which reached out to her and calmed her down. Fly, Illusion, Sword, Sleep, Freeze … the list went on and on, fifty-two elements at her disposal.

There had been a fifty-third, a long time ago. It was another one of her hazy memories – she didn't know where it had come from or how it came into being, but there had been a fifty-third card, one with a winged heart on the front. But it had disappeared almost ten years ago now. Even though she couldn't remember its creation, Sakura felt its loss strongly.

But she had the rest of her cards; cards she loved with all her heart. They would protect her, she knew it. Even if something was wrong in the magical world, they would help her fight it. And she had Kero, and Yue too. Everything would be all right …

Then she came to the card at the bottom of the deck. The Void.

Looking at this one always made her shiver. Unlike the warm glow of its counterparts, this card radiated cold, tainted magic that snaked up her arms into her chest. The girl on the front gazed up at her with blank, dead eyes, and Sakura was struck by the urge to shove it back into the book and close the cover.

She reached out to pick it up, but as her fingers came into contact with it, a shock of dark magic shot up her arm, making her cry out and drop the card to the floor.

"Sakura-chan? What's wrong?" Kero asked curiously.

"It – it just …" Sakura stammered, unable to explain what had just happened. It was almost like it had given her an electric shock.

She reached out warily to pick up the card, but this time it lay dormant in her hands. Sakura could almost convince herself she'd imagined the whole thing, if it weren't for the cold shivers running up and down her arm and the odd aching in her chest.

"I think … it just threatened me," Sakura said worriedly, knowing the idea was stupid but at the same time knowing that was exactly what had happened.

Suddenly, Sakura was overwhelmed by the urge to get the card as far away from her as possible. She grabbed the book, stuffing the Void at the bottom of it and hurriedly smothering it with her other cards. She closed the book and flung it into its drawer before slamming the drawer shut, panting slightly as she leaned her forehead against the wood.

Kero looked at his spooked mistress, slightly pale himself. "Well … whatever this is, I think it's safe to say it's going to get worse."

Sakura couldn't help but agree. She could still feel the cold, pulsating aura through the wood, reaching out towards her as if trying to claim her very soul.

**A/N:** So there's the slightly boring set-up. More SxS next chapter, I promise!


	2. Interference

**Void**

**A/N:** Here's chapter two! Thank you so much for all your reviews … it's nice to see people I recognise from 'One Week', and also some new readers, which is exciting! I really hope you like this and that it meets your expectations …

I'm glad most of you seem to be enjoying this idea, or are at least interested by it. Personally I think the concept of the Void card is interesting, and potentially very frightening, which I hope to put across here. I don't think it was used to the extent it could have been in the CCS movie, but this may well be because scary soul-sucking cards don't really fit with the sweetness and bubbles that is CCS. Not that I have anything against the sweetness and bubbles ;p

I know a lot of you have questions … bear with me. They will be answered in time. It's no fun if I give away everything in the first chapter –grins-

**Chapter Two: Interference**

It was four minutes past ten. He was late.

Sakura frowned slightly, wondering where on earth the dark-haired man could be. He always got here at ten, on the dot, every day. Why wasn't he here? Was he sick, maybe? He didn't look like the sort of person who got sick. Or maybe he'd been called to an emergency business meeting, or had been hit by a truck, or –

"Sakura-chan! A little help over here?"

She looked up at Hana's cry, seeing a huge queue of people and Hana trying to take orders and work the machines at the same time. Sakura blushed, embarrassed that she'd been daydreaming (particularly about _him_) instead of doing her job. They were short-staffed that day after a girl had called in sick, and Sakura knew she needed to pay attention.

She rushed over with a muttered apology, smiling at the next customer as she logged onto the till system. She couldn't help but glance at the clock though. Six minutes past.

The next half an hour was a blur of people and smiles and money and shouting, but finally, at thirty-nine minutes past she heard the bells over the door jangle, and she knew before she even looked up that it was him. Her heart leapt as the door was pushed open and he walked through, catching her eye and blushing slightly as he joined the queue of people.

Inside Sakura beamed, happier than she probably should be to see him. She tried to temper her reaction though – he was so shy that she was sure an overly-enthusiastic greeting would scare him – and simply waved. He nodded in reply.

"Sakura-san," Michio shouted, rushing over to her and looking downright terrified. "I spilled coffee on the woman by the window and now the whole table's furious …"

Sakura sighed, not wanting to leave the till and the chance to serve the man, but Michio looked so frightened that she didn't have the heart not to help him. "Come here," she smiled at him kindly, waving him round the counter. "Do the till for me while I sort them out, ne?"

"B-But," he stammered, "What if I mess that up too?"

"You won't," she beamed. "I trust you. Just shout Hana-chan if you have any questions."

Sakura headed towards the table Michio had indicated, fighting the urge to smile apologetically at the man waiting patiently in the queue. She was sure he wouldn't mind someone else serving him – it wasn't like he came here for her, he came for the coffee.

Sakura didn't like it when they were short-staffed – it felt like you were needed in about six places at once, which in turn stressed you out and made everything seem twice as hard to deal with. As soon as she was done calming down Michio's customers (which took a round of free coffees and pastries and a customer services number), Hana was shouting for her again because she'd managed to crash the till.

"Sakura-san!" her boss called her as she was half way across the floor. "Everything all right?"

She smiled at him. "We're coping."

"Excellent – I'll go on my fifteen-minute break then," he said, having not had one all morning. He placed a basket of pastries on the counter and said, "I'll leave you in charge – put these out when you've got a minute, and call me if you need me."

Sakura nodded, already standing at Hana's till and pressing buttons. "You just turned it off, Hana-chan," she grinned in amusement.

Hana glowered resentfully at the till. "Stupid technology, stupid Shiori-chan …"

"It's not her fault she's sick," Sakura replied patiently, her eyes roaming the shop as she recovered Hana's previous transaction.

"Sick?" Hana let out an unladylike snort. "She's not sick, she's hung-over … and he's at his usual table, Sakura-chan."

Sakura's face heated up. "W-What? I wasn't, I-I mean – who …?"

Hana shook her head before moving onto the next customer. Sakura looked over to see that he was indeed sitting at his table, and he was staring at her again, which only flustered her more. Deciding she needed a distraction, she turned to grab the basket of pastries – but it wasn't where her boss had left it.

Frowning, Sakura glanced up and down the counter, before ducking behind it and searching there. It was nowhere to be seen.

"Hana-chan, did you move the pastries?" Sakura asked worriedly.

"No, they're where Kenji-san left them," she replied.

"No … they're not," countered Sakura, looking around in confusion. If no one had moved them … how could a massive basket of pastries just disappear? She placed a hand where they had been before, but quickly recoiled in horror. The surface tingled with tainted magic.

Sakura swore softly, something she only did in the direst of circumstances. They were gone … just like the rest of the things she had 'misplaced'.

"How's it going?" Kenji asked jovially as he re-entered the shop.

"Uh …" Sakura stammered nervously, wondering what to say.

It might have been the guilty look on her face, but he noticed the fact that the basket was missing right away. "Sakura-san … what happened to the pastries I asked you to put out?" he asked.

"I don't know!" she cried, looking round as though she expected it to pop out of thin air. "I swear, I didn't touch it – I just went to help Hana-chan with the till and the next thing I knew it was gone!"

"Gone?" Kenji echoed. "What do you mean, gone? Did someone steal it?"

"No!" Sakura denied frantically, not wanting to get anyone in trouble. "No, I mean – I didn't see anything! It was there one minute and then the next …"

Her boss sighed, clearly angry. "Sakura-san, there was over 35,000 yen's worth of produce in there …"

"I'm sorry!" Sakura apologised, not knowing what else to say.

Kenji looked at her, his desire to be strict warring with the fact that he really did like her. "Look, I know we've not had enough people in today … but this doesn't look good. For someone to just walk out with a whole basket of pastries and no one to even notice …"

Sakura hung her head, even though she was sure that wasn't what happened.

"Don't be ridiculous. I took them."

Her head shot up to see her latest obsession standing there, a somewhat bored expression on his face.

"Y-You took them?" Kenji stammered, taken aback by this abrupt confession. "But – but why, what …"

The man rolled his eyes. "I'm having a business brunch in half an hour and I wanted those goods served there. So I took them and sent them home in my car."

"You don't just take people's things without asking!" Kenji exploded. "I don't care how big or important you think you are, you're not stealing from my shop and getting away with it!"

As Kenji continued to shout, the man drew out a cheque book from inside his jacket, scribbled out a figure, then tore the cheque out and handed it to him. "I think this will be more than adequate to cover the cost of the goods and make up for your trouble."

Kenji took the cheque and looked it over huffily. Then his jaw hit the floor.

"I trust that will be all?" the man asked. "I really have to leave for my meeting – thank you for your assistance."

Sakura stared after him, wide-eyed, as he swept off towards the door. She'd never imagined him to be … haughty … before. He'd always seemed so quiet and shy …

But as he opened the door to let himself out, he glanced back and caught her eye. He looked … worried. Then, as if realising what he was doing, he shook his head slightly and walked out the door.

He hadn't taken those pastries. She'd seen him sitting at his table. And what's more, she'd felt the magic all over the countertop when she'd touched it. He hadn't done a thing.

_He'd just covered for her._

"Well … I don't know what to say to that," Kenji said, looking slightly flustered. "Come on, everyone, back to work …"

He'd covered for her. She couldn't believe it. He'd come over and acted like an ass and forked over an incredible amount of money … just to stop her getting in trouble. You didn't do that for random strangers.

For a split second, she wondered if he could be part of the reason that the things around her were disappearing. After all, if drama series and crime novels and her own life had taught her anything, it was that enemies were often closer than you thought. There was just something too convenient about him appearing right when all this started and being there for her at the right time …

And yet despite that, every single instinct within her body was screaming that she had got it wrong. He couldn't be an enemy.

Enemies didn't look at you like you were their world.

**xxx**

"Kero-chan! I have a very very very very big problem!"

"Can it wait? I'm playing Crash Team Racing!"

"Kero-chan …"

"How serious is it on a scale of one to ten?"

"Twelve."

She heard a heavy sigh from the other room. "… Okay, I'll pause the game."

Sakura rolled her eyes, sinking down into a chair at the kitchen table and burying her face in her hands. Whether she liked it or not, she had a situation to deal with.

"All right, I'm here, what's up?" Kero asked impatiently, his eyes flickering between her and the living room door.

"You know yesterday," she said slowly, her words muffled by her hands. "When you said something not normal was up? I think … I mean, I know … you were right, Kero-chan."

"What happened?" he asked, suddenly serious.

"It wasn't that big a deal," she admitted, finally looking up. "This huge basket of pastries disappeared at work – but when I touched the counter where they'd been, it was – it was cold and dark and just … I'm not making sense, am I?"

"No," he agreed, "But I understand."

"Oh, Kero-chan," Sakura wailed. "Why is it doing this? They vanished _in front of the whole shop _– if someone looked up at the wrong time or if Kenji-san had checked the CCTV, or if … how would I explain that?"

"Did anyone see?" Kero asked anxiously.

"I don't think so," she replied. _He_ might have done, but she couldn't be sure.

"Did you get into trouble?"

She blushed furiously, avoiding his eye. "N-No."

Kero frowned, knowing she was hiding something. But there were more important problems to deal with. "You think it was the Void?"

"I don't– I don't know," she sighed, wringing her hands together. "I mean, how could it have done anything? I didn't give it an order, and it's sealed away. It shouldn't be able to do anything without my permission, right?"

Her guardian nodded his agreement. "That's how it's supposed to work, yes."

Sakura shot him a suspicious look. "It is sealed, right?"

"Of course it is," Kero said in surprise. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I don't remember it properly," she replied in frustration. "I don't remember anything from back then properly. I just thought that maybe I'd messed up and not done it right, or something. That would explain why it was acting up …"

"But not why it waited ten years to start," Kero pointed out. "Look, I promise, you sealed the card exactly like you were supposed to. That's not the problem."

"Then what is?" Sakura asked forlornly.

Kero remained silent for some time, thinking over her question. He had no idea why this was happening – he'd witnessed the sacrifice she made all those years ago, seen her change from a giddy girl in love to a more reserved woman with what could only be described as a hole in her heart. He'd heard her cry out the kid's name in the night, knew full well that her subconscious was suffering in the way the Void had desired. So why, _why_ was it tormenting her again? What more could it want?

Eriol – the closest thing to Clow in this life and therefore the most trustworthy source available – had said it required a sacrifice of feelings. In Kero's opinion, there were no stronger or purer feelings it could possibly have received from anyone. So why hadn't the sacrifice held?

As though she could read his thoughts, Sakura suddenly announced, "There was a sacrifice, wasn't there?"

"Yes," Kero replied carefully, not knowing how much he could say without hurting or upsetting the strange way her mind had adjusted to cope with the loss of a huge part of her soul.

"I remember Eriol telling me I had to give up a feeling," Sakura muttered, her face screwing up in concentration as she strained to remember. "That was right, wasn't it?"

"A sacrifice was made," he nodded, knowing she wouldn't push the matter. Her own mind wouldn't allow her to.

"Maybe … whatever it was has run out," she suggested tentatively. "Maybe it needs more from me."

As he had predicted, she didn't ask him more about what sacrifice she had made. She never did when this topic came up. The fact that she didn't ask was part of the sacrifice – her mind wouldn't even allow her to be curious about what she had lost.

"Sakura-chan … it can't have run out," Kero told her gently. "Feelings don't just run out."

"Well, something's happened," she sighed. "And if sacrificing my feelings worked before, maybe if I do it again the card will calm down."

Kero frowned. He couldn't deny that was a possibility, but it wasn't supposed to happen like that. The card had taken more than enough from his mistress.

"It might do," he agreed slowly. "But think about it, Sakura-chan. You'd have to sacrifice your love for your father, or your brother, or Tomoyo-chan … you can't possibly want to do that?"

"Of course not!" she replied, aghast. "But I'm sure I didn't want to sacrifice whatever it was the first time round, and I did it anyway. I don't remember much, but I remember how bad this card got … towards the end. I won't let that happen again."

"But Sakura-chan," Kero protested, "Whatever you sacrifice, I can promise it won't be as strong as the first sacrifice you made. And if that one didn't hold, these ones won't either. You'd have to keep making sacrifices over and over to placate the damn thing –"

"I won't let it hurt people, Kero-chan!"

"You'd be left as nothing more than an empty shell!" he cried. "As your guardian – as your friend, I can't let that happen! Not to you!"

They fell silent, each one avoiding looking at the other. Then finally, Sakura smiled.

"Kero-chan … thank you."

The guardian shrugged. "I just – I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just saying that can't be the only solution."

He'd seen the damage it had done to her already. He'd be damned if he let it hurt her any more.

Sakura nodded in agreement. "Okay. I'm sure we still have time. We'll figure something else out."

Kero sighed heavily, moving to sit on his mistress's shoulder as a sign of support. She was right. There had to be something else they could do. Something that didn't involve chipping away at pieces of his friend's heart until nothing more was left.

There had to be something else that card wanted. Something that even Clow Reed hadn't foreseen.

**xxx**

Li Syaoran burst into his hotel room, flinging the door back so hard that the handle struck the wall, leaving a dent. He glowered at it, slamming it shut before starting to pace uselessly up and down his room.

This wasn't supposed to happen. He'd accepted not being able to be in her life because he'd thought it meant she would be left alone to _live _her life.

His cell phone bleeped at him from his trouser pocket and he snatched it up, flipping it open to stop the noise but refusing to acknowledge the text that read '39 messages on voicemail'. Across the room, a red light on the hotel phone was blinking, indicating that he had messages there as well.

He sat on the bed, then got up again. He paced over to the window, looking out at the lights of Tokyo glittering in the pitch black night. He flung his curtains closed.

What was he supposed to do now? How could he just leave her when …?

When what? He didn't even know what was happening. It could be nothing; heck, it may even be something she'd done herself for reasons he didn't know. Except that the aura he'd felt today was in _no way_ connected with his Sakura. She had been light and warmth and everything that aura wasn't. She couldn't have been responsible for it.

_Wait. 'His Sakura?'_

He sighed in frustration – that was his real problem. He couldn't let go of her.

At least not until he knew for sure that she was okay.

Suddenly his cell phone began to ring again. Syaoran went into his bathroom and shut the door, determined to ignore it. The ringing continued, and he realised he was being childish. The least he could do was see who it was.

He wasn't answering if it was his mother, though.

He glanced at the phone without much interest, seeing 'Meiling – Mobile' displayed on the front. He debated with himself, reached for the catch, pulled back, put the phone on the bed, picked it up, flipped it open, and half closed it again before finally holding it to his ear.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?" a voice roared out of the speaker.

Bad decision.

Syaoran sighed heavily, psyching himself up for an ear bashing. "I'm still in Tokyo –"

"TOKYO?" Meiling screeched. "What the hell are you doing there? You were supposed to be home three hours ago – do not tell me you're stupid enough to have missed your flight?"

"No, I –"

"And more importantly, why didn't you call and let anyone know you missed it?" she interrupted.

"Meiling, I didn't miss –"

"We've all been worried sick!" she wailed, clearly not listening to a word he was saying. "We thought something must have happened to you – it's not like you to be so irresponsible! We called the airline, your hotel, we called your cell phone like a hundred times –"

"Meiling, I found Sakura!"

He regretted the words the instant they were out of his mouth. For some weird reason, he'd wanted to keep that knowledge to himself, his own little secret. That way no one could tell him he was being ridiculous, pining for a girl who no longer knew his name.

"You found who?" She sounded stunned.

"I didn't mean to, I …" Syaoran scowled, kicking the desk in frustration. "I only went to get coffee, and … and she was just there …"

"Tell me you didn't do anything stupid," Meiling said warningly.

"No!" he snapped defensively. "I've barely even spoken to her."

"Then why the hell aren't you here in Hong Kong?" Meiling demanded. "Do you have any idea how pissed off everyone is with you?"

"I don't care," Syaoran retorted childishly.

"So what?" she spat, "You're not coming home so that you can sit and drink coffee and stare all day at someone who doesn't even know you? Xiao Lang –" Meiling stopped herself, realising her concern was making her come across way too harsh, as always. "Xiao Lang, I know you don't want to hear this, but … it's over. You and her are over. And I'm telling you this because you are my cousin and she is my friend and I love you both. I don't want to see you hurt again."

Reality stung, Syaoran thought to himself. But that didn't mean he was giving up.

"I meant to come back," he said through gritted teeth. "I really truly did. But something happened today and –"

"What happened?" Meiling asked.

"I – I'm not sure, but I think …" He sighed, not knowing how to explain that he had seen nothing concrete, but at the same time he _knew _that something wasn't right. "Something disappeared, this basket thing, and … I don't know, Meiling. It felt like … before …"

"You mean when …?" she began, and she could almost see him nodding at the phone. "Oh."

"Exactly," Syaoran muttered. "And so I just thought that maybe I should … stay here for a while. Just to make sure she's all right …"

"How can that possibly be a good idea?" Meiling asked incredulously.

"I never said it was a good idea," he bit out. "I just –"

"Xiao Lang, she's not your concern any more!" Meiling cried. "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry … but you're only going to get more hurt the longer you stay there. You have to walk away. You have a _life _here in Hong Kong –"

"I don't have a life, I have an existence," he retorted bitterly.

"You listen to me, Li Xiao Lang," she snapped. "You are the leader of this Clan. We look to you for guidance and we cannot afford to have a depressed leader right now. You have too much to do – too many responsibilities to throw everything away and mope around in Tokyo over someone who _cannot_ love you back!"

"I don't want to mope!" Syaoran replied angrily. "I want to make sure she's okay."

"How are you going to do that if you can't even talk to her?" demanded Meiling.

"I don't know, I haven't thought that far ahead yet!" he yelled.

He could hear Meiling sigh on the other end. "You know I'm just saying this because I care about you?"

"I know," he said, running his hand through his hair in embarrassment.

"I don't want you hurt."

"Meiling …" Syaoran took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "I promise you, it hurts more than enough as it is. It can't get any worse."

"They won't let you stay there," Meiling pointed out. "The Elders will be furious, and you don't even have a valid excuse to give them."

"I'm the leader," he said, somewhat arrogant despite himself. "They have to do what I say."

"Don't be stupid," she groaned. "They can make your life a living hell, and you know it."

"… Can you buy me some time?"

"ME!" she exploded. "What on earth do you think I can do? If they won't listen to you, they're not going to listen to a spoiled little brat without a drop of magic in her!"

"Don't say things like that about yourself," he said irritably. "Look, just … tell them something fell through. Like … I don't know … tell them I haven't gotten Tanaka to sign some document."

"But Tanaka signed everything –" Meiling protested.

"We know that, the Elders don't," Syaoran pointed out. "Meiling … please. I'm begging you. Just buy me some time until I know what I'm dealing with here."

"But –"

"I swear to you, if it's nothing or if it's something I can't help with, I'll come straight home," he promised, although he knew he'd struggle to stick to it. Even today, he'd been unable to keep himself from getting involved. He couldn't stand seeing her being shouted at for something that wasn't her fault, so what had he done? Gone over and acted like a haughty, arrogant jerk and very nearly blown his cover. She probably thought he was strange now. Not that it mattered what she thought of him any more.

"Don't worry, Meiling. I'm not stupid enough to force this – I know that will only hurt her more. And that's the last thing I want, so …" He trailed off, embarrassed to have revealed so much.

Meiling huffed in frustration. "I'll talk to them, but that's all I can promise you –"

"Thank you," he sighed, collapsing onto his bed. He'd have to book the hotel room for more than an extra night now.

"Just … oh, please be careful, Xiao Lang!" Meiling cried worriedly. "I don't want you hurt again. Either of you."

"Stop worrying," he said. "I'll be home before you know it."

"You'd better be."

Syaoran stared at the phone for a long time after she hung up. It was a strange world in which he acted on his feelings while Meiling was the rational, sane one.

He knew he was probably making a huge mistake. But at the same time he knew that something was very _wrong_. He'd seen the look on her face when she'd touch the spot where the basket had rested. He knew she was scared. And someone like her should never have to be scared.

This time, he wasn't going to leave her.

**A/N:** I may have jumped the gun a bit … reading back, there's a lot less SxS than I thought there'd be and a lot more boring set up. However, I THINK it's safe to say the set up is now over and the WAFF is coming.

I'll try not to be too long with the next one. I'm driving up to uni today, and it depends what my end-of-the-semester workload is like as to how quickly I'll be able to write. As always, details of my progress will be posted regularly in my profile. Until next time …!


	3. Replaced

**Void**

**A/N:** Don't hate me for this. That's all I have to say : )

**Chapter Three: Replaced**

He'd been so busy staring off into space – contemplating how he was going to tell her what he knew and find a non-suspicious way of offering to help – that she somehow managed to sneak up on him.

"Here," Sakura said with a smile, placing a mug of hot chocolate on the table in front of him. "I figured you could use a break from the caffeine. And you look like a chocolate person."

He looked at her, then at the mug, then back at her again. "I didn't order that."

"I know," she replied, blushing slightly as she fumbled with her apron. "Consider it a … highly inadequate thank you. For what you did yesterday."

"For taking those pastries and making your boss yell at you?" he asked incredulously.

"Well yeah. Except that …" She paused, finally able to look him in the eye. "You didn't take them, did you?"

As he stared at her blankly, she thought for a split second that she'd got it wrong – that he had been telling the truth yesterday and that the ridiculous idea of him coming to her rescue had been all in her head. Then a fierce blush spread over his face, and he started to stammer.

"I – I don't … I mean I …"

Sakura giggled – she'd caught him. "You're so shy. I was so surprised when you came over and you were all …"

"Mean?" he suggested.

"Assertive," she corrected with a smile, unable to associate the word mean with the man in front of her.

"I can be … assertive. When I have to be."

Sakura sighed dreamily. "I guess you must, seeing what you do for a living. It must be so cool, being a CEO and have everyone listen to you."

"It's … okay, I guess," he mumbled vaguely, not wanting to tell her that it was the most boring and stifling job in the world.

"I wish I could be like that," she said. "I can barely run this place without creating a disaster!"

"You're in charge again?" he asked curiously.

"My boss is sick – I think he got what Shiori-chan had …" She trailed off, tilting her head and staring at him closely. "You know, if it wasn't for you, he never would have trusted me with the store again. He adores it; it's his life."

Syaoran flushed again. "I – I didn't do anything, I …"

"You covered for me," she insisted firmly.

"I really didn't," he protested, hating how her face and voice and everything about her completely eradicated his ability to think straight.

"You're so sweet," Sakura giggled. "So modest … you know, you must be one of the few genuinely nice guys out there."

His blush increased ten-fold. How could she be so trusting of him? She didn't even know him, or what his motives were the other day … but then, that was her. Pure, blind faith. In anyone else it would be irritating. In her, it was captivating.

She suddenly pressed a hand to her mouth, as if aware she was becoming too forward. "Um … sorry, I just … you have no idea how much I appreciate what you did."

"It was nothing," he insisted gently. "Anyone else would have done the same."

"No, they wouldn't," she said, but far from being upset by that fact, she appeared to be thrilled that she had found the exception. "I'd better get back to work – but if you need anything …"

Syaoran nodded to show he understood, before slumping in his seat as she turned away. This was hard – it was so, so hard to talk to her and act like a total stranger. Maybe staying had been a mistake. How could he help her when he could barely have a conversation with her without hyperventilating?

"Um …" Suddenly she was back in front of him again, twisting her apron and refusing to meet his eyes. "Listen … I have to ask you something okay? And I know it's gonna sound a little weird, but … just bear with me, ne?"

He looked up curiously, watching as she psyched herself up for whatever she was about to say.

"Yesterday, when the basket disappeared … did you see what happened?"

Syaoran frowned. "You mean, did I see who took it?"

"No."

It was one word – one little word, and he knew exactly what the real question she was asking was: did you see that basket disappear into thin air?

He couldn't have asked for a better opening.

"Look, about yesterday … I saw –"

"Sakura-chan!"

Syaoran abruptly shut his mouth as he heard the new voice – ten years may have passed, but the high-pitched squeal that Daidouji Tomoyo adopted when addressing her best friend was still the same as ever.

"We're here, Sakura-chan!" the girl cried happily, skipping over to Sakura and dragging a poor, dark-haired boy behind her. "I'm so proud of you, working so hard! You're picking the restaurant, okay? My treat!"

"T-Tomoyo-chan …" Sakura stammered bashfully. "You don't have to …"

"Don't be silly," Tomoyo said, dismissing her protests with a wave of a hand. "I said I was treating you to lunch and I am. Nothing but …"

She trailed off, and Syaoran knew without looking at her that Tomoyo had seen him.

"Tomoyo-chan?" Sakura asked anxiously.

Syaoran gathered his courage and looked up at Tomoyo. The poor girl had gone ashen – she looked like she had seen a ghost. Something inside Syaoran broke. It had never been clearer to him that he no longer belonged in Japan.

"Li-kun …?" she breathed in shock.

He met her eyes, silently begging her not to say anything that might give him away, or worse, confuse and upset her best friend.

"Daidouji-san?" the dark-haired boy asked, peering at her curiously. "Are you okay?"

_Please, Daidouji_ _… you're worrying them, just say something!_

As though she'd read his mind, Tomoyo snapped her mouth shut, stood up straight, and beamed at her friends. "I'm fine!" she announced happily, looking for all the world as if nothing was wrong with her.

Sakura eyed her friend worriedly. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely positive!" Tomoyo smiled. "You'd better get your bag so we can get going!"

"O-Okay," Sakura agreed slowly, looking between Syaoran and Tomoyo for several seconds before curiosity got the better of her. "Tomoyo-chan? Do you two know each other?"

Syaoran winced – after the way Tomoyo had acted, there was no denying it. Not that he blamed her. The first time he'd seen Sakura he acted like a total space case.

"We met a while back," Tomoyo said slowly, and Syaoran could see from the way her eyes were darting from side to side that she was desperately trying to think of something that wouldn't involve lying to or breaking her best friend. Eventually, she had to settle for the lesser of two evils. "One – uh – one of Li-kun's companies did a deal with Daidouji Corporations …"

"Daidouji Sonomi introduced us," Syaoran cut in, seeing as Tomoyo looked like she was about to cry. "It's good to see you again, Daidouji."

Tomoyo looked at him, and for a moment, beneath the tears in her eyes, he could see a glimmer of relief and welcome and happiness, all directed at him. "You too, Li-kun."

The boy peered at them, apparently non-plussed as to what all the fuss was about. "So … can we go?"

Tomoyo's head whipped round, and she looked at him in horror as if she'd forgotten he was there.

"I'll get my purse," Sakura announced, completely missing that anything was off. Sometimes, Syaoran thanked God that she was dense.

As she headed towards the staffroom door, the boy caught her by the wrist. "Hey. Don't I get a hello kiss?"

"Sorry!" she smiled bashfully, before leaning forward and pecking him on the lips.

It was a cliché, he knew. But Syaoran felt as though his heart had just been ripped out of his chest and stamped on.

"I'll be two seconds!" Sakura cried, skipping off to the staffroom with a pretty blush on her cheeks.

Tomoyo and the boy – he refused to say Sakura's boyfriend – sat down at his table. The boy smiled at him, inclining his head slightly. "My name's Motomiya Tai – it's a pleasure to meet you."

Syaoran knew it was irrational, but right now he wanted to punch the guy in front of him for taking what was his.

_Except she wasn't his … she never really was before, and certainly not now, not after what happened…_

Seeing that Syaoran wasn't about to reply, Tomoyo attempted to salvage the conversation. "Um, this is Li Syaoran. He's from Hong Kong, he's just here … well, I don't know why he's here …"

He didn't bother offering an explanation.

"So, did you two meet at a business meeting or something?" Tai ventured, wondering why both the people in front of him looked like they were about to be sick.

"No, we just … crossed paths," Tomoyo replied, sounding a little faint. She desperately tried to catch Syaoran's eye, wanting to tell him that it was nothing, Tai was nothing compared to him.

Syaoran's eyes remained focused on Tai.

He had a million questions he wanted to ask._ What makes you think you're good enough for her? Do you take care of her? Do you watch over her? Is she your reason for living? Do you love her with everything you have? __**Would you die for her?**_

"So … what do you do, Motomiya?"

Tai beamed kindly at him. "Call me Tai."

"Motomiya's fine."

He looked more than a little taken aback, but attempted to keep the conversation friendly. "I'm a journalist, actually."

Syaoran nodded mechanically.

Tomoyo looked anxiously between the two of them, almost crying in relief when Sakura reappeared. "Oh, there you are!"

"Tomoyo-chan, I was only a minute!" Sakura smiled. "I just had to leave Hana-chan the keys … are you ready?"

Tomoyo got to her feet, but then her eyes fell on Syaoran. She turned to the other two as Tai was gallantly holding out Sakura's coat for her to put on. "You know what? I'm going to take a rain check."

"What?" Sakura cried, looking devastated. "But Tomoyo-chan …"

"I think you and Tai-kun should go alone," Tomoyo replied. "After all, you've not had much time together lately, what with all the over-time you've both been putting in at work."

"But I've barely seen you either!" Sakura protested.

"We'll do something another time – a girly night in, or out, or something," she promised her. "But we do live together – you and Tai should go now, just the two of you."

"Are you sure?" Sakura asked.

"Of course!" Tomoyo nodded emphatically. "After all, it'll give Li-kun and I a chance to catch up."

Sakura looked much happier at that – as long as Tomoyo wasn't going to spend her lunchtime alone, she was all right. "Well okay. Thank you!"

"Go have fun!" Tomoyo told her, waving as the two left the store, hand in hand.

The wide smile fell off Tomoyo's face as she abruptly fell into the chair opposite Syaoran.

As the shock of meeting Tai wore off, Syaoran vaguely realised that he owed Tomoyo some kind of explanation. "Look, Daidouji –"

She held a hand up in the air to stop him, then used that same hand to signal over a waitress. "An espresso and a slice of chocolate fudge cake, please," she ordered, before letting her head fall to the table with a thunk. "I'm gonna need sustenance for this."

They sat in silence for a while, before Syaoran attempted to salvage his pride. "I'm not here to get her back, Daidouji."

Tomoyo looked almost disappointed. "You're not?"

"No."

"But then why – you're still in love with her, it's written all over your face!" she cried in frustration.

"That doesn't matter! Of course I …" Syaoran stopped, consciously lowering his voice. "Look, I didn't mean to bump into her. I really am here on business, it just … happened."

"But you have to – Li-kun, don't you see you two were meant to be together?"

He sighed heavily – that was the last thing he needed to hear right now. "Daidouji, don't do this …"

"Do what? Listen – listen to me, Li-kun!" she demanded. "Tai-kun and her, it's only been going on for a month! He's her first boyfriend and she's trying really hard but I know it doesn't feel right for her because she's still in love with you!"

Syaoran screwed up his eyes, desperately trying to block out her words. She was giving him false hope, and he couldn't deal with that. "She can't be in love with me," he denied firmly.

"She cries out your name in her sleep, did you know that?" Tomoyo asked, becoming almost frantic as she desperately tried to right the massive wrong in her friend's life. "She's never had a boyfriend before because she feels like she's cheating, although she doesn't know why. She cries sometimes for no reason at all –"

"I can't fix that, Daidouji!" he yelled, devastated to hear how the sacrifice had hurt her. It wasn't supposed to be like that, not for her. "I mean _nothing_ to her any more –"

"Here's your espresso, miss, and the cake," the waitress interrupted, placing Tomoyo's order on the table. She shot a look at Syaoran, who was red in the face and scowling furiously after his outburst. "Is everything all right?" she asked Tomoyo worriedly.

"Everything's fine. Thank you," Tomoyo replied woodenly.

Silence fell once again, as Tomoyo sipped her coffee and Syaoran tried to get himself under control. Finally, he looked up at Tomoyo and asked quietly, "Is he a good guy?"

"He's not you. But I guess she can't have you, so he's …" She paused, sighing sadly. "The next best thing." Tomoyo looked at him appraisingly for several seconds. "You broke her heart."

"I didn't mean to!"

"And she broke yours."

"Daidouji," Syaoran sighed heavily, knowing they were going around in circles. He needed to get to the point. "I need you to listen to me –"

"If you're not here for her, then why are you still in Japan?" she asked.

"Because …" He seized his chance to steer the conversation in the right direction. "Daidouji … have you noticed anything strange going on with Sakura?"

Tomoyo frowned. "Not particularly. Why?"

"Something went missing from the store yesterday, this basket thing literally vanished into thin air –" He stopped abruptly, seeing the way she was looking at him. "What?"

"That's been happening to her for a while," she said slowly. "Silly things – tops, bags … she said she was being forgetful."

"It was magic, I'm sure of it," Syaoran said firmly. "Maybe even the Void Card – the magical signature felt like before … but it can't be …"

She frowned anxiously. "You think something's up?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "But I'm sticking around until I'm sure either way."

"Well, you know you can count on me," Tomoyo sighed, smiling at him for the first time that afternoon.

"You want to help?" he asked.

"Of course!" she cried. "Both with the magic and with you and her – I know you say you don't want it, but I know you two are meant to be together. I'd go to the ends of the earth for Sakura-chan. Surely you know that by now?"

Syaoran smiled – he did know that. Some things never changed.

Except that his Sakura – his beautiful, perfect Sakura – was with someone else. Someone else now got to walk her home and buy her lunch and protect her. That used to be his job, even before he'd fallen in love with her. That had been his job, his place. And now Tai, as nice as he seemed, had replaced him.

_It doesn't matter,_ he told himself firmly. _It doesn't matter, as long as she's happy … she's all that matters …_

Syaoran picked up his mug to take a sip of hot chocolate. It had gone cold.

**A/N:** I'm sorry! Please don't be mad. I promise I'll fix it … eventually. -grins-

Sorry about the long wait. I only have the usual excuses – end-of-semester exams and essay deadlines really took it out of me, plus I've been doing a lot of overtime because our supervisor quit. End of grumble. The good news is, I have nearly two weeks off and I've coached it all the way home – meaning no distractions and lots of time to write! Yay!


	4. Caught

**Void**

**A/N:** I'm glad most of you get that I needed Tai and that the _majority _of you don't want me strung up by my small intestine ;p. I'm sorry to those of you I got mad! But anyway, I hope you enjoy this. As always, huge, _huge _thanks to the reviewers. You're all wonderful, you really are!

**Chapter Four: Caught**

"I can't believe I'm doing this."

"Will you stop whining?" Syaoran snapped. He'd tried to be understanding, but that was the fourth time she'd uttered that sentence in two minutes. "You said you wanted to help."

"I do want to help, but not like this!" Tomoyo hissed, climbing up yet another flight of stairs. "This secrecy isn't going to help anything – you need to come out and tell Sakura-chan that you're here to help her!"

"I will," he said grimly, "When I know what I'm dealing with!"

"This is stupid."

Syaoran scowled. "You're the one who made us take the stairs."

"Because I don't want Sakura-chan to know I'm sneaking you into the apartment!"

"You said she wasn't here!"

"She only just left this second! We might have run into her in the elevator."

"Why do you have to live in the penthouse, anyway?"

"Ask my mother, she picked it."

Syaoran took to grumbling under his breath, refusing to continue the argument. If there was one thing he knew, no one, even him, could win an argument against Daidouji Tomoyo.

When they finally reached the top, even he was winded. He glowered at the girl as she fished for her keys in her purse. "How can you and Sakura make rent on this place when she's a student and you're just starting out in design?" he asked.

"My mother," Tomoyo replied, locating her key and putting it in the door. "She pays for it – originally it was just me but then okaa-sama and I went to visit Sakura-chan at university and okaa-sama freaked out at the accommodation."

"Was it that bad?" frowned Syaoran.

"No," Tomoyo grinned. "But okaa-sama won't have anything but the best for her precious Nadeshiko-chan's daughter. Plus she feels better about me not living by myself."

Understanding, Syaoran followed Tomoyo into the apartment. She did her hostess bit, taking his coat before leaving to make tea, and Syaoran took the opportunity to have a look around.

The place wasn't huge, but it was certainly more than big enough for two people. It was obvious that Tomoyo had been here first – the walls, carpets and furniture were simple, elegant, and bare – but there were signs of Sakura all over the place. The oven mitts on the kitchen table were bright pink with white polka dots; there was a massively overstuffed chair in the corner that didn't match the other leather sofas, and she'd left a mug and a bowl in the lounge covered in an unbearably sweet heart and strawberry pattern. For the most part everything was neat – Syaoran expected that was Tomoyo's doing too – but again, signs of residual messiness were scattered about: the crockery, several magazines on the floor, bottles of nail varnish on top of the television.

Not to mention that her aura radiated throughout the entire apartment.

"What do you think?" Tomoyo asked cheerfully, handing him a cup of tea.

"It's very nice," he replied dutifully, accepting the tea and continuing to look around in interest.

They sat in silence, Tomoyo obviously waiting for him to divulge his plan. When he didn't, she took it upon herself to ask. "So where do you go from here?"

He sighed – he had been hoping for a break before getting down to business, but instead, he reached for the laptop case at his feet and unzipped it.

"You know, I don't think a computer is going to be a lot of help in this situation …" Tomoyo remarked bemusedly.

Syaoran rolled his eyes, before drawing out his Lasin board and laying it on the coffee table.

"Ah," she nodded in recognition. "And this is going to help … how?"

"This is designed to locate the creations of Clow Reed – Clow Cards and unsealed spirits of Clow Cards," Syaoran explained, picking up his tea again. "It should be able to tell me if the Void Card has been sealed and converted properly. If it has, it'll belong to Sakura and the Lasin board won't be able to detect it, even if it's right in front of it. If it isn't sealed, it'll technically belong to Clow and the Lasin board will shoot light at it."

"You do know Sakura-chan carries the cards with her at all times, don't you?" Tomoyo asked him.

"I know," Syaoran nodded. "But not this one. She'd be too scared of it right now to carry it with her."

"How do you know that?" Tomoyo asked curiously.

He didn't answer – he didn't know how he knew, he just did. He knew her.

"Where does she keep the cards?" he asked abruptly.

"In the top drawer of her bedside cabinet," Tomoyo replied.

Syaoran looked at her, expecting her to go and get them. She didn't move, only smiled sweetly and took a sip of tea. He realised that he was being told to enter Sakura's room, and the idea made him strangely uncomfortable.

"Can't you –"

"No."

He glared at her. Her smile remained fixed in place.

**xxx**

To be fair, there was nothing particularly personal or intimate in Sakura's room. It was very pink, a little messy, but perfectly safe. Still. He felt wrong being in her room without her permission. He'd never been in her room before, when they were friends, and now … it was like he was intruding somewhere he shouldn't be.

As he opened the drawer Tomoyo had directed him to, he realised with a smug grin that he had been right. The book was there, completely empty of cards apart from one lone one abandoned at the bottom. He took it out, peering at it curiously – he'd never seen it before. It seemed fairly standard – the same tones of pink and gold patterning as the other fifty-two – and in the centre stood a girl with long, lavender hair and the most mournful expression he'd ever seen. Syaoran frowned, turning it over and over in his hands. Its aura was strange; it was cold and creeping, but at the same time tinged with the warmth of Sakura's magic.

To say he was stumped was an understatement.

He sat down heavily on the bed, looking at the card in his hands. This little card was the reason for everything wrong in his life. It was the reason she wasn't with him, the reason she didn't know him, the reason she wasn't happy … the reason he didn't know who she was any more …

Aimlessly, Syaoran began to wander round the room, hoping to learn something about the person she was now. She had stuffed animals lined up on top of the wardrobe. On the windowsill there were pictures of her brother and her father. There was clothing littered all over the floor, the sort of casual jeans and t-shirts that he would have expected. But some things were different. Many of the photos were of people he didn't know, and some had obviously been taken at college parties. There was even one of Sakura at what seemed to be her graduation, beaming proudly, surrounded by friends. The majority of her clothing may have been casual, but there was a rather provocative dress draped over a chair that made his heart beat faster and his palms begin to sweat.

She'd grown up, he realised. While he'd spent the last ten years stuck in some strange kind of emotionless limbo, she'd grown up and moved on and created this wonderful city life that he had no hope of comprehending.

And worst of all, by her bed stood a picture of her and Tai, standing in a park somewhere and waving happily at the camera.

It was childish, he knew. But he picked up the picture and laid it face down, before leaving the room with the Void card clutched tightly in his hand.

**xxx**

"Imperial king of gods, your divinity watches over the four corners. Metal, wood, water, fire, earth, thunder, wind, lightning. Whirling blade of light, I summon thee!"

Syaoran and Tomoyo watched the Lasin board intently. It glowed for several seconds, and the patterns and symbols that were etched on it swivelled in place as it acknowledged its master's order. But no beam of light was emitted from it. It lay in Syaoran's hands, unable to detect the Sakura Card lying on the coffee table.

"So … that's it then?" Tomoyo asked uncertainly. "It's still sealed?"

"Looks that way," Syaoran replied, equally unsure. How could it be sealed when its aura was so tainted?

Then suddenly, a beam of light shot out of the board, pointing right at the Void card.

Tomoyo gasped. "Look – Li-kun! So it's not –?"

The light died before she could even finish her sentence. Then it came back to life, then faded again. They both watched silently as the beam of light flickered in and out of existence, as though struggling to make up its mind.

"What the …?" Tomoyo murmured in confusion. "What does that mean?"

"I have no idea," Syaoran replied, eyeing the Lasin board in disbelief. "In all the years I've had this, I've _never_ seen it do that."

"So what now?" Tomoyo asked – just as the front door was flung open and a dishevelled Sakura pelted into the room.

"Tomoyo-chan? Are you okay?" she asked frantically, running to her friend and grasping her hands, not even noticing the other occupant of the room in her panic. "I was just down the street and I felt magic and I thought – I thought …" The poor girl trailed off, gasping for breath. But even she could see that Tomoyo was okay, and she reached out to hug her in relief.

Before she could, a bolt of raw, black energy shot out of the Void card and slammed into her chest.

Syaoran and Tomoyo looked at the card on the table, then at their fallen friend, completely in shock. A second later, Tomoyo had run to Sakura's side and Syaoran, in a fit of rage, had drawn his sword.

To say he was angry was an understatement. That Card was responsible for everything, _everything_. And it had the gall to strike her, to hurt the one person who would never raise a hand to it, no matter how much it deserved to suffer for what it had done …

He, on the other hand, was another story entirely.

In a heartbeat, he slammed the blade of his sword into an ofuda, screaming, _"__Raitei Shourai!"_ Lightning burst out of the sword and struck the card, wrapping around it tightly. Although the flimsy piece of paper obviously showed no reaction, Syaoran knew he was hurting the spirit within. He couldn't care though. It had to pay for everything it had done to Sakura –

"STOP IT!"

Something warm and soft suddenly barreled into him, an arm wrapping round his waist as another hand reached up and clasped the wrist holding the sword.

"Please," Sakura begged, tears welling up in her eyes. "She didn't mean it – and I'm fine, really. So don't hurt her. Please!"

He dropped the sword instantly, feeling like an out-of-control monster.

The trio stood in silence for a while, Sakura collapsing to her knees as Tomoyo wrapped an arm around her.

Syaoran closed his eyes, sinking onto the couch as he rubbed his hands over his face in self-loathing. He'd messed up on an unbelievable level. She adored those cards – even the one that made her suffer, she still considered a friend worthy of love and affection. And he'd let his emotions get the better of him, and he'd attacked it. How would she ever, _ever _trust him now?

"You know magic?"

He couldn't even bring himself to look at her. He just nodded his head slowly, his hands still over his face.

"Did you know?" he heard Sakura ask, and he knew she was now talking to Tomoyo.

"Yes," she replied, sounding a little shaken. "I knew; I'm the one that brought him here. We were just trying to help and then that thing – it – oh, are you okay, Sakura-chan?"

"I'm fine," the girl insisted. "Just winded. It was just like a shock, I – she's done it before."

"She's done it before?" Tomoyo echoed almost angrily.

"Well, not quite on that scale," Sakura sighed. "I don't think she's happy."

Syaoran could almost feel Tomoyo's frustration. Sometimes Sakura's kind-heartedness was just impossible to deal with.

"She's the one that's been making your things disappear," Tomoyo said, but it wasn't a question.

"We don't know that," Sakura protested.

"Li-kun just tested that card with his Lasin board," Tomoyo told her. "There's something wrong with it – it's not sealed properly."

Sakura shook her head emphatically. "Kero-chan said I sealed it just fine."

"Sakura-chan!" Tomoyo cried, seizing her best friend's hands. "Stop trying to pretend this is okay! I know you're scared. When you came pelting back here at high speed you thought it had done something. You know it could get worse. It's okay to need help, you know."

Sakura squeezed Tomoyo's hands. "Thank you. For worrying about me."

"You're my best friend," Tomoyo replied simply. "I love you. I hate to see you hurt."

Sakura hugged her tightly, before her gaze traveled to the man slumped on their couch. Tomoyo nudged her encouragingly, and Sakura crawled over to kneel by his feet. She reached up, and gently peeled his hands away from his face. His eyes were scrunched up, and she giggled slightly. "Open your eyes?" she requested.

He did, but he kept his gaze fixed firmly on the floor.

"You know magic," she repeated. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't –" he began, not knowing how to answer. "I mean, I – how – I thought …"

"That day the pastries disappeared," Sakura continued slowly. "You did see what happened."

He nodded.

"And you guessed the Void did that?"

He nodded again.

Sakura tilted her head curiously, although he couldn't see. "How did you know about my cards?"

"Li-kun told you he runs his family's business empire, didn't he?" Tomoyo interjected suddenly. "His family is the Li Clan – they have an extensive knowledge of magic and they're descended from Clow. They know all about the cards."

Sakura sighed again. "Will you look at me?"

He tried, he really did. But he couldn't.

Suddenly she sounded sad. "Is that why you came to the café and started talking to me? Because you knew what the card was doing?"

"No!" Syaoran cried, although he didn't know why. That would have been the perfect cover, and yet he couldn't let her think that their talks had been motivated by mere business. "It was just coincidence. I had no idea anything was wrong until the day with the pastries."

She nodded. "And you came here to see if it was the Void?"

He didn't say anything, but she took his silence for a yes.

Suddenly she leaned forward, grasping his chin with her tiny fingers and forcing him to look her in the eyes. To his relief, she smiled brightly. "Why are you helping me?"

"Because –"

_Because I feel guilty for leaving you. Because I can't let that card hurt you any more. Because I let you down the first time. Because I love you …_

"Because I'm the head of the Li Clan. Problems with such powerful magical beings may have ramifications for us in time, and besides, I consider it my responsibility to assist the heir to our ancestor's greatest creations."

He could _hear _Tomoyo roll her eyes.

Sakura, in all her naivety, bought the pompous rubbish hook, line and sinker. "But you're staying to help me?"

"I – uh …" He didn't want to commit to something like that – something that would mean working with her and talking to her and that would slowly break his heart day by day. But she was looking up at him with such wide, hopeful eyes and he couldn't …

"Yes. I'm going to help you."

"Oh, _thank you!_" she squealed, throwing herself into his arms and wrapping her own tightly round his neck. "Thank you so much!"

Syaoran could feel himself turning bright red as usual, and he didn't know what to do with his hands. He was itching to wrap them round her waist, to hold her and assure her that everything was going to be all right, promise to take care of her …

_You can't. That's not your place any more._

He knew the voice in his head was right. But he couldn't help it. He wanted to be selfish just once, just this once. So he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to his chest and savoring her warmth, the softness of her skin, the scent of her shampoo …

Syaoran took a deep breath, attempting to remain in reality. He saw Tomoyo beaming at them, mouthing the word 'kawaii'. He glowered at her.

Finally Sakura pulled away, taking his hand in two of her own. Had her hands always been that small?

"Thank you," she said again, still smiling at him. "But … don't ever hurt my cards again, okay?"

He felt suitably abashed, but still wanted to argue his point. That thing had hurt her far worse – didn't it deserve to be punished?

Not in Sakura's eyes. He realized he was going to have to re-attune himself to her way of thinking if he was going to work with her again. He'd lost a lot of the sense of humanity she had patiently installed in him all those years ago. She didn't hurt, and she didn't punish, and she didn't act in anger. And if he did any of those things, he was only going to upset her. Or get her mad. She protected those cards like they were her own children.

And so he nodded his agreement.

Sakura beamed at him, and all was forgiven and forgotten in two seconds.

"So, now that that's sorted – who wants tea and cake?" Tomoyo asked brightly.

"CAKE! Who said cake? Where's the cake? Are you two eating cake in here without me!?!?"

Sakura groaned, Tomoyo gasped softly, and Syaoran glowered in the direction of what looked like a flying stuffed animal, hovering in the doorway of Tomoyo's bedroom.

"What's up with you? What did I miss?" Kero demanded … before his eyes fell on Syaoran.

Syaoran glared at him. Kero glared back.

"_You!"_

**xxx**

"So … you're back, huh?"

Syaoran didn't turn; the slight stiffening of his shoulders was the only indication he gave that he had heard Kero's question.

Kero settled down on the arm of Syaoran's chair, scrutinising him carefully. Tomoyo had dragged Sakura to the kitchen to do the washing up, which he was grateful for because he had one or two questions to hash out with the kid. He had no idea what he was supposed to say to his mistress's ex-love, someone who he had never liked that much to begin with. But even Kero couldn't deny that he had been dealt a rough hand in this situation, perhaps the worst of all.

"You know, none of us wanted this to happen," Kero sighed. "You and her … I mean, I didn't like you, but this …"

"It doesn't matter," he said, and his tone was noticeably sharp. Syaoran took a deep breath, and continued much more calmly, "I'm staying until I know she's safe. Then I'll go back home and she can go back to living her life the way she was meant to."

Kero had nothing to say to this. But he couldn't help but try, for his mistress's sake, if nothing else.

"Part of her still remembers you," he said. "She dreams about you all the time –"

"_It doesn't matter,"_ he bit out through gritted teeth, clearly losing patience. "It doesn't matter if I'm in her subconscious or in dreams she doesn't remember. I'm a stranger to her and that limits my interference."

"So why are you here?" Kero asked grimly.

"Because she needs help," he replied simply.

Kero shook his head. "You can help her more by fighting beside her rather than behind her."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Syaoran demanded.

"Give her time – she'll fall in love with you again, I know it," Kero insisted. "Then you can protect her freely as her soul mate instead of worrying all the time that you're being too forward."

"She has a boyfriend, Keroberos!" Syaoran snapped angrily, trying to keep his voice down.

Kero snorted. "Oh come on. He's all right, but he's as dull as can be."

"If she loves him –"

"Of course she doesn't love him!" Kero cried. "It's been two months! Besides, she _can't _love him because she's still in love with _you_."

Syaoran looked at him blankly. "Why are you even encouraging this? You hate me."

"This is true," Kero agreed. "But I love her. And I don't think she can ever be happy again without you in her life."

Syaoran looked thoughtful for a second, then sighed morosely. "I'd confuse her. I don't want to confuse her."

"It might be a second chance."

He scoffed at Kero's suggestion. "We can't have a future if we don't have a past."

Silence fell once again, and Kero knew there was no point in pursuing this conversation further. And so he asked the only question that really mattered to him at this point. "You'll stay to protect her?"

Syaoran nodded. "As long as she needs protection."

**A/N:** I'm not _totally_ convinced on the legitimacy of the whole Lasin board thing, but give me the benefit of the doubt, okay? I think Syaoran's chant was correct. I really wanted the non-translated version, but I couldn't find it online and I daren't try and work it out from the anime/manga. Also, I think that Tomoyo addresses her mother as 'okaa-sama' rather than 'okaa-san', at least in the manga. I know it's not the normal term, but I swear that's what she uses. Of course, I may be wrong …


	5. Butterflies

**Void**

**A/N:** For some reason, I seem to have veered back into writing in Syaoran's POV for the most part of the last two chapters. I intended it to be a mix of him and Sakura, but he appears to have taken over. How very strange. Never mind, we see quite a bit more of Sakura here.

A couple of thank yous:

**1.** To **SilentCynara**, for being wonderful enough to offer to beta read this fic for me. Your feedback was absolutely amazing, and you deserve a medal for taking on the task of trying to pull some sense out of my ramblings!

**2.** As always, to the reviewers: 103 reviews for four chapters is just amazing. I can't say how much I love reading all of your comments! And a special thanks to **Mendeia** for being my 100th reviewer!

I know a lot of you might consider this 'filler-ish', but I figured I needed to explore a bit more background, particularly with Tai. We should get Touya and Yukito next chapter, so hopefully that'll make up for it a bit! And Touya ain't gonna be happy …

**Chapter Five: Butterflies**

Tai was sitting at his table.

Syaoran stood in the queue at the till, silently fuming. If it wasn't bad enough that the man was dating Sakura and living the life _he _should have been living, the guy had also sat at the best table, _his _table – the one in the corner where he could see out of the window but also watch Sakura work (almost) inconspicuously.

And even worse, Sakura was standing by the table, talking away … she was smiling and giggling, and Tai looked totally relaxed and comfortable in her presence, something that Syaoran had never been able to achieve.

"Sir? Sir, can I take your order?"

He shook himself out of his stupor to see the girl behind the till staring at him as though he were prey. If he were any other guy, he would have registered that she was stunningly pretty. As it was, he couldn't care less. He rattled out his order as fast as he could, before thrusting the money at her.

"In a hurry?" she asked him with a smile, taking her time getting his change. "You look like the kind of person with important places to be."

He didn't like her smile – it was cold and too wide and just fake. Nothing like Sakura's.

"I'm fine," Syaoran mumbled, hearing Sakura's cheerful giggle behind him.

"You sure? You look like you could use some relaxation," the girl was saying, and he almost choked at her forwardness. "Maybe after you finish your coffee we could –"

"Shiori-chan!" another woman snapped angrily. "Break. Now."

"You're not in charge!" the pretty girl huffed.

"No, Sakura-chan is – want me to get her over here?"

Shiori pouted, beamed at Syaoran, then turned on her heel and flounced through the staff door.

"My apologies," the other woman smiled at him. "I'll bring your coffee right over."

Slightly dazed, Syaoran nodded before instinctively heading for his usual table. Then he remembered that Tai was there, and had to veer to the left. Unfortunately, this meant he ended up closer to the happy couple than he really wanted to be – it could get awkward if Sakura saw him. Not to mention that he was near enough to hear everything they were saying.

"Come out with me tonight," Tai was pleading, tugging on her hands like a puppy. "Come on, you know you want to!"

Sakura giggled. "We shouldn't, not tonight – I have to be here at six tomorrow morning, and _you_, Mr. Journalist, have a deadline."

"What's one night going to hurt?" he asked her. "Come on, we'll just go for dinner and a movie. I'm not saying we should stay out clubbing until two a.m.!"

She appeared to think his offer over. "Movie, no dinner."

"Movie, and we get ice cream on the walk home."

"Deal," she agreed happily, leaning down to sneak a quick kiss when she thought no one was looking. But Syaoran was. It turned his stomach, but he just couldn't stop.

It was the strangest thing to watch – in a way he felt like he was violating her, intruding on such a private moment. But he'd never been able to kiss her, and he just couldn't help being curious. Of course, when they were twelve it hadn't been much of a problem (back then kissing had consisted of a peck on the cheek and then running away from each other). But looking at her now just made him feel like he had yet another loss to add to his list. He couldn't help but wonder what she kissed like, even though it felt wrong to even think about it when she was sitting eight feet away with her boyfriend. Once again he felt anger for the man kissing her building up inside him, even though he knew it wasn't right, wasn't fair.

How would it feel to hold her and kiss her, to have her kiss him back and know that she loved him? What had Tai done to deserve it – and what had he, Syaoran, done that was bad enough to mean he could never have it?

"I tried to stop him sitting there," a voice announced, as his coffee and croissant were placed on the table in front of him. "But he just thought I was being weird."

Syaoran looked up at the woman who had saved him earlier. He blinked in confusion.

"Tai-kun," she explained, thinking he didn't understand. "Everyone knows that's your table, and I tried to save it for you. Even Sakura-chan didn't really want him sitting there – I mean she didn't say anything, but it was pretty obvious."

"… I'm sorry, who are you?" Syaoran asked blankly.

The woman beamed at him. "Suzuki Hana. Nice to meet you."

"Charmed," Syaoran nodded, still confused.

"Don't worry, she'll come around," Hana continued brightly. "It's obvious she likes you."

"I – what … I mean, what are you …"

Hana smiled. "Trust me."

Then she walked off, leaving a thoroughly bemused Syaoran in her wake.

His head fell to the table in disbelief. Even people who _didn't know him_ seemed to think he should be getting together with Sakura.

"You're gonna get a mark on your head if you stay like that."

Syaoran's head shot up so fast he felt something pull in his neck, and he clapped a hand to it in pain.

"Oh, are you okay? I didn't mean to make you jump," Sakura fussed.

"It's fine," he muttered, and he started to wonder just how many more surprises he would be able to take that day.

"I just wanted to say hi," Sakura continued happily, "I didn't see you come in, I was …"

"Busy," he supplied.

"Um, yeah," she agreed, blushing slightly. "Look, I just wanted to say thank you, again, and … well, just see if you had any ideas. About what I should do, I mean."

He looked up at her, not wanting to tell her that he'd been up all night scouring what little resources he had with him in search of some kind of solution. He'd come up empty handed, of course, but that didn't mean he was totally out of ideas.

"There is one thing I thought of," Syaoran said, being careful to keep his voice down. "Have you done a reading with your cards?"

She looked at him blankly for a second, then slapped a hand to her forehead. "Of course, why didn't I think of that before? I used it once when my brother was missing – it was back when I captured Mirror and she took my form and caused all sorts of trouble …"

He let her continue along that line for a couple of minutes, knowing he couldn't tell her that he'd been there; that he'd been the one who'd helped her find her brother.

"… So I know they can work, if I use them right. Why don't you come over and I'll do it tonight?" Sakura suggested, looking excited at the prospect. "Tomoyo-chan will be there – she might want to film it, but we can just ignore her – and so will Kero-chan and I can get Yue-san if we need him. What do you think?"

"I didn't mean to overhear," he said slowly. "But … don't you have a date tonight?"

Sakura's face fell. "… Oh."

"We can do it another night," he assured her, hating it when she lost her smile like that. "Tomorrow, if you want."

"Oh, but …" She looked upset now, and was twisting her hands anxiously. "It's not a problem, I mean I can cancel the date. It's not a big thing. I just really want to get started on _doing _something, you know? I think I'll feel better if I'm actually trying to solve the problem. Plus you've been so kind to me … I don't want to take up any more of your time than I have to. I should try to sort this as soon as possible."

Syaoran sighed heavily – he felt as though he was being tested sometimes. Here he had the perfect opportunity to ruin her date, and the selfish side of him _wanted _to ruin it, so she would spend the night with him, where she should be.

But Tai made her happy. She'd smiled and laughed when he'd spoken to her of going out – and she needed that right now. She needed to have fun with someone, not sit around musing over her problems.

"No," he said firmly. "No, don't cancel it. We'll do it tomorrow."

"But –"

"It's fine," insisted Syaoran. "If anything, it works out better that way. I'm having some books imported from Hong Kong that I think might help, and they should be here tomorrow. I can bring them with me and we'll look them over."

"You've imported books from Hong Kong?" she asked in awe.

He blushed _again_, hating moments like this when it would be obvious to anyone other than her that he worshipped her.

"Oh, you are just … you're so kind, Syaoran-kun!" she gushed, looking happier than he'd seen her since he'd arrived. A little, tiny bit of the old light was back in her eyes. "I can't help but feel like everything will be all right, now you're here!"

"It will be," he mumbled, feeling embarrassed. "You'll do your reading, and some of the books I'm getting sent actually belonged to Clow, so I'm sure there'll be something in there to help us. We'll fix this."

Tears welled up in her eyes, and suddenly Sakura leapt forward and flung her arms around him. "Oh thank you, thank you," she said tearfully, squeezing him tightly. "You have no idea how much this means to me …"

"I-It's just a – a few books …" he stammered, wondering why on earth she was overreacting so much. Over her shoulder he could see that Tai had straightened up in his chair, and he was watching them out of the corner of his eye.

"No it's not," she sniffed, "It's … oh, I know it sounds stupid, but you make me feel like … like I'm not alone any more."

"I –" Syaoran paused, not knowing what to say. "You've never been alone."

"Yes I have," she whispered, her breath soft against his neck. "I've been so lonely …"

She stopped herself short, her eyes suddenly widening in horror as she pulled away from him, her hands clasped to her mouth in shock. "I-I'm sorry," she stuttered, looking mortified. "I'm so sorry, I don't know why I …"

"It's okay," Syaoran replied gruffly, hoping he was returning to his normal colour. "You're just … under a lot of pressure."

"Yes, that … must be it …" she said slowly, looking a little lost.

He swallowed the remains of his coffee (scalding his tongue in the process), deciding to make the situation a little easier for her by leaving. "I should go – so I'll see you tomorrow?"

Sakura nodded frantically, still able to muster up a smile for him.

He tried to smile back. "See you then. And …" The next words were going to kill him. "Have fun tonight."

"Bye …" she called, waving slightly.

Syaoran could feel Tai's livid gaze boring into him as he walked through the door.

**xxx**

Sakura yelped in surprise as she felt a muffin make contact with the back of her head.

"Hoeee!" she wailed, rounding on her attacker. "Hana-chan, what did you do that for?"

Hana beamed at her. "You're dreaming. Again. And if we don't get this till cashed up you are gonna be late for your date."

"Oh … sorry," Sakura apologised, feeling embarrassed. She'd lost count of the number of times her thoughts had drifted off that day.

"Come on, focus," Hana grinned, snapping her fingers in front of Sakura's face. "Kenji-san will be back tomorrow, so if you mess up he's gonna know about it." Hana watched her friend as she accessed the management functions on the till, a slow smile spreading over her face. "So … what's caught your attention?" she asked cheekily.

"Nothing!" Sakura denied hastily.

Hana laughed triumphantly. "Oh my God, you _love _him!"

"I do not!" Sakura cried, shaking her head back and forth. "I barely know the guy!"

"Then tell me you haven't been thinking about him all day."

Sakura opened her mouth, then closed it again.

Hana popped a piece of biscotti in her mouth, announcing, "And thus my point is proven."

"I do not love him," Sakura said slowly.

"But you feel something for him."

She wanted to deny it – she'd feel so much better if she could just say it wasn't true and mean it. But when she'd hugged him … both today and the day before … she'd just felt warmth erupt within her, spreading across every inch of her skin and making her feel safe and wanted and loved … he made her heart beat faster and she got this strange, jumpy feeling in her stomach …

"You've really got it bad, haven't you?"

Sakura took her apron off and threw it at Hana's head.

**xxx**

"I'm thinking about approaching the article with a lighter tone, you know – I mean, everyone's sick of hearing doom and gloom prophecies about global warming. I figure if I put a sort of fun spin on recycling, then people …"

Tai trailed off, seeing that his girlfriend was staring off into space again.

"Oi," he smiled, nudging her lightly. "Your ice cream's melting."

Sakura's eyes widened as she realised how rude she was being. "Oh, sorry … what were you saying?" she asked distractedly, licking up the drops of ice cream running down her cone.

"Just … nothing important," Tai sighed. "Are you okay? You've been … out of it all night."

"I'm fine!" she insisted brightly. "I'm just … thinking a little too much, I guess."

"Not about good things. You start frowning every time you drift off into space," he pointed out.

"I do?" Sakura asked worriedly, rubbing at her forehead as if trying to erase frown lines.

Tai laughed heartily, tugging her hand away and kissing it gallantly. "You are just too cute."

She blushed furiously.

Tai kept hold of her hand, swinging it slightly as they continued their walk towards her apartment building. "So …" Tai began, trying desperately to sound casual. "I see Tomoyo-chan's friend's still in town?"

"Tomoyo-chan's … oh!" Sakura nodded in understanding. "You mean Syaoran-kun?"

Tai frowned. "You two are on a first name basis?"

"Well, he told me to call …" Sakura trailed off, realising for the first time that it was a little odd that Syaoran had asked her to address him by his first name when they barely knew each other. She hadn't questioned it at the time – she didn't want to question it now. It just felt right; she couldn't imagine having to call him 'Li-kun'.

"So you're close?" Tai prodded further.

"No, we're … I don't know what we are," she replied vaguely, only just realising how true that was. She felt so comfortable with him sometimes that she forgot they'd only known each other a week or so. "We're barely even friends."

"You hugged him."

Sakura blushed, realising Tai had obviously misinterpreted her emotional outburst that day. "He's helping me with something."

"What?" he asked curiously.

"I –"

"Sorry, I'm prying," Tai cut in, seeing that he was on the verge of interrogating her – and he didn't want to be like that. He put an arm round her by way of an apology, and tried to ignore how she stiffened beneath his touch. "I don't mean to sound like the jealous boyfriend."

"There's nothing to be jealous of," Sakura insisted kindly. "I know it looks a little weird, but I barely know the guy."

She tried not to sound sad when she said it.

"I know," Tai agreed, as they rounded the corner and started to climb the steps of her building. "I guess I just don't want to lose you …" They were at the top now, and he pulled her to him in a hug. "You're amazing, Kinomoto Sakura."

Sakura blushed, at that moment feeling wholly undeserving of his admiration and affection. As though he sensed this, Tai caught her under the chin, making her look at him.

"Something's bothering you," he announced softly. "You might not want to tell me what it is, but … I just want to make you feel better."

She knew it was coming, and so she stood still and let him kiss her. It was soft, and gentle, and perfectly acceptable. So she let it continue for a while. He nudged open her mouth with his tongue, and she waited for the rush to come … but it didn't. It never did.

She could deal with this. She didn't feel how she was supposed to feel, but she was happy to let it carry on for a while because that's what girlfriends did.

He moved his mouth to the corner of her lips, across her jaw line, down her neck, and that horrible feeling started up in her stomach again. That deep, painful ache she always got when this happened, this terrible feeling of guilt and the sense that something wasn't right … but she breathed deeply, desperately wanting to get over these emotions, wanting to be a normal girl at the end of a normal night with her boyfriend …

Encouraged by her response – Sakura had usually pushed him away by now – Tai moved his hands a little higher on her body. One slipped under her t-shirt, coming to rest on the warm skin of her back, while the other came up to cup her breast –

In a flash she'd pushed him away from her, staggering back until she hit the wall, her hand clasped to her mouth as she gasped for breath.

Tai looked at her with wide eyes, before reaching out to her worriedly. "Sakura, are you okay –"

She recoiled from his touch, shaking her head frantically. Tai drew back, knowing he could do nothing except wait it out. This had happened before.

He watched miserably as Sakura slid to the floor, taking deep breaths. At first Tai thought she must have had some sort of awful incident in her past that caused what he could only describe as anxiety attacks, but she'd insisted that wasn't the case. He couldn't explain it, and neither could she. All he could do was wait it out as she let him get a little bit further each time … and he was willing to wait. She was worth it, in his eyes.

Tai sank to the floor beside her, careful to keep his distance. "You okay?" he asked gently.

Sakura nodded, although her eyes were still closed.

"Look, I'm sorry, I just …" Tai fumbled awkwardly. "You know I'd never force you to do something you weren't ready for, right?" She didn't answer, and panic started to well up in his chest. "Sakura?"

"… I know."

"Okay," he sighed. "I just thought … I don't know. You've been so distant and I …"

"Just because I'm not ready for this yet doesn't mean I'm distant," Sakura said gently, finally getting her breath back.

"I didn't mean with this, I meant … just generally," he explained. "Every time we're together I feel like your mind is somewhere else."

"… I don't do it on purpose."

"I know you don't," Tai hurried to assure her. "Just … tell me. Tell me what's bothering you."

_You're not the one I'm supposed to be with._

She stomped on that thought as quickly as it came. She didn't know where they came from, but thoughts like that kept popping up all the time, against her will.

"I don't know. I don't know what it is. But I'll try harder to get over it. I promise, Tai-kun," she said, desperately meaning every word. She felt a rush of affection for the man who was trying to hard to be patient with her, and she sidled closer to him, carefully resting her head on his shoulder. "I want to be happy with you."

_I just want to be happy again._

**xxx**

"Tomoyo-chan?" Sakura called softly, not wanting to wake her friend if she was asleep. "Tomoyo-chan, are you awake?"

"In the kitchen," Tomoyo replied, sticking her head through the door and waving. "How was your night?"

"It was …" Sakura fumbled for words, gave up, then sat herself at the kitchen table.

"That great, huh?" Tomoyo grinned. "You want a cup of tea before you crawl into bed? You look like you could sleep for a thousand years."

"I feel like it," Sakura replied grimly. "But tea would be great."

Tomoyo smiled happily, starting to move round the kitchen. "How was the movie?"

"Movie?" Sakura echoed. She'd been so distracted through the entire film – thinking about Syaoran, and the Void, and Syaoran, and the reading tomorrow, and Syaoran – that she doubted she'd even be able to tell Tomoyo the name of it. "Oh … it was okay, I guess."

Tomoyo tutted knowingly, but didn't say anything – the two friends just stayed in companionable silence.

Sakura broke it suddenly. "Tomoyo-chan?"

"Hmm?"

"What do you think of Tai-kun?" she asked anxiously.

Tomoyo frowned, turning away from the kettle and looking at her friend curiously. "I like him Sakura-chan, you know that. He's a good guy."

"I know, but I meant more …" Sakura paused, searching for the right words. "What do you think of Tai-kun … and me?"

"As a couple?" Tomoyo asked.

Sakura nodded.

"Oh, I don't know, Sakura-chan …" Tomoyo replied vaguely, not really wanting to answer that question. She wanted Syaoran and Sakura to be together, but not at the expense of Tai's feelings. Still, she supposed it couldn't be helped. One of them had to get hurt in the end – the important thing was for her to do her best not to influence her friend's decisions. All she wanted was the best for her.

"As long as you're happy with him, then I would consider Tai-kun a good partner for you. Why, is something wrong?"

"Oh, no!" Sakura cried, not wanting to worry Tomoyo. "Nothing like that!"

"Sakura-chan," she said warningly. "We've been best friends since we were five, don't even try it."

"Nothing's wrong, I just …" Sakura protested – but she needed to talk to someone about it before she went crazy. "He kissed me outside."

Tomoyo giggled. "I should hope so, he's your boyfriend!"

"And he … well, his hands were …" Sakura swallowed, finding the situation a thousand times more embarrassing that she thought she would. "Oh, I don't know …"

Suddenly, Tomoyo was livid. "Did he touch you? Did he _force _himself on you? Oh my … I'm gonna tear him limb from limb … where's Kero-chan – actually forget that, I'm calling Touya-san –"

"No, Tomoyo-chan, it wasn't like that!" Sakura called frantically, frightened by the murderous gleam in her friend's eyes. "I mean, he stopped the second I told him to –"

Tomoyo narrowed her eyes. "You're sure?"

"Yes!" Sakura nodded desperately.

"… Okay." In an instant, Tomoyo had calmed down and was smiling kindly at her. "So what's the problem?"

"I just … I mean, when guys … do that …" Sakura swallowed, blushing hotly. "I mean, shouldn't I have … oh, this is so embarrassing!"

"It's me," Tomoyo said gently.

Sakura took a deep breath, before blurting out, "Aren't I supposed to like it? At least a little? Because I didn't, not at all, I just felt strange and uncomfortable and … oh, maybe something's wrong with me!"

"Nothing is wrong with you!" Tomoyo insisted doggedly.

"Tomoyo-chan, I'm twenty-two years old!" cried Sakura, tugging at her hair miserably. "And I've never done anything … you know …"

"There's nothing wrong with that!" Tomoyo protested.

"Of course there isn't!" Sakura agreed, her voice trembling slightly. "But … but I'm not this way through choice, I just … I don't get it. I've met so many nice guys, but none of them … why don't I have butterflies? Why don't I _want _to spend time with them … why does everything feel so forced?"

"Sakura-chan …" Tomoyo felt the usual worry for her friend crawl its way up into her chest. "Sakura-chan, you know you don't have to have a boyfriend – you shouldn't be forcing yourself to do something you're not comfortable with …"

"But I don't know what else to do!" Sakura replied shakily. "I just … don't you ever feel like something's missing, Tomoyo-chan? Or is it just me? Because there's this … this big empty space in me and it's cold and it _hurts_, and I know I'm not making any sense, but I know … I know if I could find the person who gives me butterflies and makes me _feel _something … if I could find him I know the space would go away, and then … and then I wouldn't be so cold …"

Her voice broke on the last word, and Tomoyo hurriedly knelt down by her chair and took her hands. "Sakura-chan …" she said gently. "Love isn't always about the butterflies and silly romantic notions. It can be boring as hell sometimes."

"_Sometimes._ With me it's all the time," Sakura said, on the verge of tears. "I – I just don't get it … it's like I'm broken."

Tomoyo sighed shakily – she'd had this conversation with Sakura so many times, and every time it broke her heart. "Maybe you just haven't found the one yet," she suggested, just like she always did. What else could she say?

"Maybe," Sakura agreed, but she didn't look convinced.

Suddenly an idea struck Tomoyo, and she asked, "So no one's ever given you butterflies. Ever?"

"No, I –" Sakura stopped abruptly.

… _He made her heart beat faster and she got this strange, jumpy feeling in her stomach …_

Tomoyo smiled knowingly. "So there is someone?"

Sakura looked up at her, and knew from the smile on her face that Tomoyo somehow knew exactly who she'd been thinking of. "How is it you know these things before even I figure them out?"

She shrugged. "I'm your best friend."

"L-Look, that's doesn't matter …" Sakura stammered, feeling her cheeks start to heat up. "I'm with Tai-kun now …"

"I know," Tomoyo smiled gently. "I'm just saying … you're not broken."

_Of course I'm not_, the voice in her head replied. _I couldn't feel the way I feel around Syaoran if I was broken._

Sakura's eyes widened in horror, and she desperately tried to shove that thought out of her mind. She wasn't supposed to be thinking things like that, not about a guy she'd only known for a couple of weeks. Not when she had a boyfriend.

She couldn't help it though. Just thinking about Syaoran made her feel warmer.


	6. Divination

**A/N:** I'm so sorry, guys. Real life has kinda taken over … in that my supervisor's having an emotional breakdown and I've unofficially taken up her job. It's no excuse though – I grovel for your forgiveness! Even worse, I've actually now been asked to temporarily manage a different store (all the way across town!) for a couple of weeks, meaning I'm skipping classes and doing all my uni work at night. So the next update may be a while. But Easter break is just around the corner … Void will be my top priority then, I promise!

So, this chapter. I'm afraid it's just Yukito … Touya ended up ranting for far too long, so he's been moved to the next chapter (he gets his own one, lucky boy!). I really struggled with this – I think it shows, it feels really _boring_ – but now it's out of the way I can hopefully get back on track. Next chapter we get Touya, then SxS fluff all the way!!!!

Quick note on the card reading: There are about a thousand theories as to how it's done, and I've used the one from the official CLAMP Clow Card reading book. The definitions of what each card means comes from that book too, so the interpretations are a little strange, but they're CLAMP's, not mine. I don't own them!

And lastly (I promise!), huge thanks as always to **SilentCynara**, without whom I'd still be flapping around chopping, changing and rewriting.

**Chapter Six: Divination**

_He promised me._

Sakura peered through the darkness, trying to figure out who was talking to her.

_He promised me you'd help me!_

She struggled into a sitting position, one hand clutching at her chest – it was aching terribly, and she was freezing cold. She had to work out where she was and who had brought her here –

_You were supposed to make it better!_

"I'm sorry," Sakura apologised, even though she didn't know who she was talking to or what she was apologising for – the person just sounded so sad and desperate that she didn't know what else to say. "I'm sorry – what can I do?"

_I don't know. He knew – he was the one that promised me!_

"I don't understand," Sakura shook her head frantically, trying to clear it. "Who promised you? Who are you?"

_You know who I am._

She did know. She just didn't want to admit it.

_Why didn't you help me? Why did you lock me away like this?_

"I had to!" Sakura cried desperately. "You were hurting people, you destroyed my home, I – what else could I have done?"

_You could have helped._

"I didn't know how!"

_You could have, but you didn't._

"If I could have helped you I would have!"

_You could have – he said so. But you didn't. And so I'm going to punish you for it, now you're setting me free. _

"I'm not setting you –"

_I'm going to make you feel everything that I had to feel._

"I don't understand what you want …"

_I want you to suffer._

**xxx**

Someone was shaking her shoulder, and it was that which managed to pull Sakura out of the dark, cold dreamworld and back into her own bed. She moaned miserably, burying her head deeper into the pillows as she savoured the warmth of her bed and desperately tried to ignore whoever was attempting to pull her out of it.

"Sakura-chan … Sakura-chan, you have to get up! Now!"

Sakura sighed – Tomoyo was getting impatient. Not that she blamed her; she really was old enough now not to need a wake-up call any more. Usually she didn't; she was able to get herself up even if she was still always late. But these dreams had been robbing her of sleep which was making it harder and harder for her to drag herself out of bed each morning.

"Kinomoto Sakura!"

She sat bolt upright in bed at Tomoyo's stern tone, a hand dragging sleepily through her hair. "I'm up, I'm up," she mumbled resentfully, swinging her legs out of the bed and checking the time on her clock.

"Hoe … Tomoyo-chan!" Sakura wailed, seeing it was only five to eight. "I don't start until ten today … why did you wake me up?"

Determined to get her lie in, Sakura crawled back into her warm bed and pulled the duvet over her head.

Only for the whole thing to be ripped away from her.

Sakura screeched indignantly, peering up at Tomoyo accusingly. "What's the matter?" she asked in confusion.

Tomoyo rolled her eyes. "Do you remember what we're doing this morning?" She was met with a blank look, and she sighed heavily.

"You said you were going to do the card reading today?"

More blinking.

"And because you're working late tonight you told everyone to come in the morning?"

Still blank.

"At eight?"

"HOEEEEEEEE!"

Sakura bolted out of bed, only for the sheets to get tangled round her ankles and bring her crashing to the floor.

"Tomoyo-chan, why didn't you wake me earlier!" Sakura wailed, ripping her sheets away and scrambling to her feet. "Oh, this is a disaster – I make everyone get up early and now I won't even be ready!"

"I'm sorry!" Tomoyo cried, watching as Sakura began flinging underwear out of a nearby drawer. "I'm sorry, I know I should have woken you up – you just looked so tired. You're always so tired lately …"

"I'm fine," Sakura soothed distractedly as she pulled off her pyjama top and put on her bra. "Oh God, everyone will be waiting and –"

"It's fine –" protested Tomoyo weakly.

"No it's not!" she replied, getting more and more worked up as she hunted for a clean shirt. "I've dragged Yukito-san all the way here without even telling him why, and he's been so good about it … and then there's Syaoran-kun … and I don't have a single item of clean clothing in this closet!"

Tomoyo bit her lip worriedly. "You mean … did the Void …?"

"I have no idea," Sakura sighed, picking up a pair of jeans from the floor. "I don't know if it's her of if I just need to do laundry – though my emerald earrings are definitely missing. These jeans will do, right?"

"They're fine," Tomoyo replied, but her eyes widened as Sakura slung the jeans over her arm and headed for her bedroom door. "Hey, what are you –"

"I'll grab my sweater from the living room and wear that again," Sakura said. "Then maybe I'll have time to fix my hair …"

"Sakura-chan, I really wouldn't –" began Tomoyo.

Sakura hurried into the living room, knowing she'd left a pink sweater draped over the back of a chair. She somehow managed to cross the room, retrieve it and get half way towards the bathroom before realising that Syaoran was sitting on the couch, his mouth hanging open.

She looked at him – he'd dropped the paper he was reading on the floor, and he'd turned fire-engine red but somehow couldn't tear his eyes away from her. And then she remembered that she was wearing nothing but her bra and a pair of tiny pyjama shorts. For several seconds, neither of them moved. Then …

"HOEEEEEEEE!"

He clapped his hands over his eyes at the same time she started to scream, his face darkening impossibly further. "I-I'm sorry, I'm really sorry …"

Sakura fled into her bedroom just as Tomoyo was coming out, and slammed the door behind her with a bang.

Tomoyo shrugged. "I tried to tell her."

Syaoran, his face still buried in his hands, muttered, "Go ahead."

"I have no idea –"

"Daidouji."

Tomoyo erupted into peals of laughter, just as Yukito wandered out of the kitchen with a large baguette in his hand, Kero hovering by his shoulder.

"Did we miss something?"

**xxx**

By the time Sakura had worked up the courage to emerge from her bedroom (now fully dressed), Tomoyo was still giggling, Kero was sharing Yukito's baguette, and Syaoran was staring blankly off into space, his face just as red as it had been when she left.

Usually her instinct would be to run and hide. But for some reason, Sakura made her way across the living room and sat beside Syaoran on the couch. She blushed, but at the same time she didn't regret the move. Every time she saw him, all she could think about was being as near to him as possible – it made her feel warm and safe, even now when she should be embarrassed. Even back when he was looking at her half dressed, she wasn't half as humiliated as she should have been. It felt right, being this close to him. Even though it wasn't right; it was very, very wrong.

"Um …" Sakura said awkwardly, fidgeting beside Syaoran. "A-About earlier … I didn't, I mean I … I'm sorry, I didn't know you were – I never meant …"

"It's okay," he cut in swiftly, his cheeks burning as he refused to meet her eye. "Really."

"But I've embarrassed you," she said apologetically, her own cheeks equally as red.

"N-No," he denied, wishing she would stop talking about it so he could try and get the image out of his head. "I – I didn't even see anything."

For some reason the remark made her smile a little, despite her blush. "Liar."

He looked at her in surprise, but couldn't help smiling back.

"What's up with you two?" Kero asked them, sounding annoyed.

Tomoyo started laughing again, and Syaoran came to his senses long enough to glare witheringly at her.

Kero scowled. "What? I don't like secrets being kept from me – what happened?"

Yukito chose that moment to step in. "Well … I'm assuming since Keroberos is present, your business is with my other self?"

Sakura smiled at him gratefully, both for intervening and for being so good about Yue. Although Yukito had never _quite _understood the extent of who she was or what was inside of him, he was always more than happy to trust her and give her whatever she needed. On the rare occasions she had to speak to Yue, Yukito always turned up and never asked questions – and more importantly, he never mentioned anything to her brother.

"Um, yes please," she replied shyly. "If you don't mind, Yukito-san."

"Not at all," he beamed, and in thirty seconds Yue the Judge was standing in the living room, as imposing as ever. 

"Mistress," Yue greeted her quietly, bowing low to the floor.

"I don't see why you need him here," Kero pouted.

"Kero-chan," Sakura scolded. "You and Yue-san are _both _my guardians. It's only right that both of you are here."

"Well if Yue's transforming then I should too," Kero grumbled indignantly.

"No, Kero-chan!" Sakura stopped him hurriedly. "The apartment's really not big enough for two pairs of wings … besides," she added, seeing the disgruntled look on his face, "You don't need your true form to do your duty."

Kero beamed proudly, before sticking his tongue out at Yue.

With one guardian placated, Sakura turned to Yue. "I'm sorry for calling you out, Yue-san," she smiled at him. "But lately there's been –"

"I know," he interrupted her. "You forget, I see and sense everything in my space within the mortal's mind."

"Right," she nodded. "I'm going to do a card reading – do you think it'll work?"

"That is not for me to say," Yue replied, completely impassive.

"But the moon rules divination," Syaoran pointed out, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

Yue regarded the man with a completely neutral expression, nodding in Sakura's direction. "And she rules the moon."

"Um – n-not really, Yue-san," Sakura stammered, looking embarrassed – no matter how much older she got, she always felt at a bit of a loss around Yue. "Um … you remember Tomoyo-chan … and this is Li Syaoran."

She was oblivious to the sudden tension in the room, but the others were waiting anxiously for Yue's response. Kero, Tomoyo and even Yukito were willing to lie through their teeth to protect Sakura's feelings, but feelings were not exactly something Yue worried about.

The judge tilted his head in Syaoran's direction. "Charmed," he muttered, sounding completely uninterested.

They all let out the breaths they'd been holding, and Sakura clapped her hands together happily before moving to sit on the floor.

"Take a deep breath and clear your mind," Kero instructed her, moving to sit on the coffee table for a better view. "Focus your energies into the cards; for this to work they need to access your subconscious and your dreams."

"What?" Sakura asked, suddenly looking anxious.

"The cards work by using dream energy," Syaoran explained gently. "They're not going to lay out your dreams for us all to read."

Sakura blushed. "I knew that."

He nodded, but he couldn't help but wonder what she was dreaming about that made her so worried.

"Okay …" she said slowly, shuffling the cards and starting to draw them out at random. She went very quiet, as did the rest of the room, as she concentrated her power into her cards. They hummed in response, and she felt comforted to know they were still warm and bright and on her side. She lay nine of them in a diamond shape on the floor in front of her, and laid a tenth one off to the side.

She felt oddly nervous as she placed the pile on the coffee table and looked over the cards on the floor. "It's been so long since I did this …" she muttered worriedly. "Kero-chan, you might have to help me with interpretation."

"Hmmm …" Kero said distractedly. "Oh, damned if I can remember. It's been years." Everyone shot him a horrified look, and the guardian beast smirked knowingly. "Don't worry, Sakura-chan – I'm sure the kid'll help you out."

Tomoyo beamed, Yue rolled his eyes, and Syaoran looked like he'd just swallowed a lemon.

Sakura turned to him hopefully. "Syaoran-kun … would you mind?"

"N-N-No," he stammered. He got up and knelt down beside her, wondering how he was going to remember how to divine anything when he couldn't even talk properly. "Um … t-the first one is at the top – the top of the diamond. It represents the subject of the problem."

She picked it up and turned it over. No one was surprised when the mournful face of the Void was revealed.

"Stop the presses," Kero said sarcastically.

Sakura grinned wryly. "At least we know it's working."

"Next is the cause of the matter," Syaoran continued, prompting her to carry on. They both reached for the second card at the same time, and as their hands brushed, Sakura felt a warm tingle shoot up her arm. She snatched her hand away, blushing furiously, and saw that he had done the same.

"S-S-Sorry," Syaoran stammered awkwardly. "Ah – you should …"

She nodded, still slightly dazed. Her skin buzzed from where he'd touched her – surely it couldn't be normal to react like this to someone just touching your hand?

"Sakura-chan?" Tomoyo prompted worriedly.

Shaking her head determinedly, Sakura picked up the second card. "Maze."

"Confusion, loss of confidence," Syaoran interpreted.

_Confusion sounds about right_, Sakura thought. The feelings in her hand had turned into the warmth she had come to associate with Syaoran, and she found herself dying for an excuse to touch him again as she picked up the next card. "Cloud – this is past problems affecting the situation, right?"

He nodded. "Cloud indicates a wrong decision."

"Oh," Sakura sighed, trying to smile. "Well, everyone has to mess up at some point, right?"

"Not exactly," Syaoran said sadly. "It was lying this way up –" He paused to lay the card upside down on the floor to demonstrate. "That means you were forced into the decision."

"But wouldn't I remember –?"

"Let's carry on, shall we?" Kero interjected suddenly. He knew from experience that trying to remember would only upset her, and they needed her calm so they could finish this.

Sakura frowned, looking a lot less happy as she reached for the fourth card. "Libra."

"Additional complications of the problem," Syaoran said, suddenly fidgeting and looking distinctly guilty.

"But Libra is justice, I remember that one," Sakura countered, "How can justice be –?"

"It was upside down again," Syaoran replied, refusing to meet her eye. "Upside down, Libra … Libra indicates a lie. Someone's lying to you."

The entire room shifted anxiously, and even Sakura felt the change in mood. She looked at her friends curiously, trying to make sense of what she'd been told. "So … I'm having a problem with the Void, caused by confusion. I've made the wrong decision in the past, and on top of that someone's lying to me?"

None of them would meet her eye, and Sakura felt the frustrating sensation that she'd missed something huge.

"Y-You have to remember, Sakura-chan," Kero ventured, "A reading can be partially correct – in fact, it's rare that every detail is right."

Sakura nodded uncertainly, reaching for the card off to the side. "Sweet – how others see the matter?" she asked Syaoran, looking to him for an interpretation.

He flushed scarlet. "Uh, S-Sweet … Sweet is, um … n-n-new love."

Sakura frowned at the card. "Well that makes no sense," she pouted, discarding the Sweet and turning to the next one. "Storm."

Syaoran, still red in the face, explained, "Um … i-i-intense emotions."

Sakura blushed, not knowing why. One half of her brain was devoted to disappointment at the lack of answers she was getting, while the other was focused on finding a way to touch Syaoran – hand, cheek, ankle, it didn't matter – anything to feel the warmth again. "Honestly, I don't get how any of this is relevant," she said embarrassedly, trying to keep herself on track. "Hmm … key point to solving the problem. Firey – oh, this is easy! Strong belief in yourself!"

"Yeah," Syaoran agreed, shaking his head slightly before handing her the next one. She reached out, but instead of taking the card her fingers wrapped around his wrist, tilting his hand so she could read the card that way. He looked at her in confusion, but she resolutely ignored it.

Syaoran cleared his throat. "O-Obstacles when solving the problem –"

"Illusion," Sakura read slowly.

Syaoran looked at her, feeling somewhat sad. "A desire to escape from reality."

The phrase seemed to take on a double meaning for her, and she blushed, letting go of his hand. It didn't matter that being close to him eased the cold inside her chest. He wasn't hers and this was in no way appropriate – and Tai! What would Tai say if he could see her now? Syaoran was still looking at her sadly – she felt as if he could read her mind when he looked at her like that – and she busied herself by picking up the next card. "Um, this is the solution, right?" she asked awkwardly.

He nodded, watching as she revealed the Return.

"Return …" Sakura said slowly, gazing at it in disbelief. "I don't get … how is that supposed to help?"

Sakura felt something akin to panic rising up within her. She been hoping the cards would give her answers, but nothing they had revealed seemed to be of any help at all. Not to mention how sick and guilty she felt for continually obsessing over the man next to her when her boyfriend had been so kind and patient …

Seeing she was now on the verge of tears, Syaoran reached over and turned the last card face up for her. "Outcome … the Snow," he said slowly. "A new beginning."

"Well … that's good, right?" Tomoyo said awkwardly.

"Not necessarily," Yue cut in.

Silence descended on the room once more, and Syaoran noticed worriedly that Sakura's hands were shaking. He looked up at Tomoyo, hoping she would say something comforting, but the girl just flapped her hands at him to indicate that he should do it.

"Um …" he began awkwardly. He was terrible at things like this. "Y-You know, it's not that bad – at least now we have a vague idea of what we're dealing with. Sometimes the answers the cards give don't seem relevant right away, but that doesn't mean they won't be later on. And I've got those books with me; they might still help."

Sakura nodded slightly, noticing her shaking hands and shifting so she was sitting on them. "I just … I don't know. I thought they would give me some sort of clue, but … I still don't know what to do."

"I'm going now," Yue announced suddenly, and out of the blue his wings wrapped around him.

Yukito emerged, looking vaguely stunned. "Huh. I'm never going to get used to that," he mumbled, before turning to the group with a bright smile. "So! Get everything done you needed to?"

He was met with an awkward silence, until finally Sakura got to her feet. "I need to go to work," she announced softly, still looking a little dazed.

Tomoyo opened her mouth to ask if she was okay, but Yukito cut across her. "I'll walk you, Sakura-chan."

"You don't have to –"

"It's on my way," he smiled cheerfully, going to get both of their coats. "Come on – I'll take you to work and we can leave those three with the books."

"Okay," Sakura said slowly, heading for the door. "I'll see you guys later – and thank you. You know, for coming and – and everything."

"It's fine," Tomoyo beamed. "We'll take care of everything; you go to work!"

Sakura waved at them before heading out of the door. As soon as her back was turned, Tomoyo began mouthing hurriedly to Yukito and signalling to him to make sure Sakura was okay. Yukito smiled and gave them the thumbs up, before he and Sakura went down in the elevator and stepped out of the building.

The second they were outside, Sakura burst into tears.

Yukito's eyes widened in shock. "Oh, Sakura-chan …" he sighed heavily, pulling the girl to him and gathering her against his chest. "Shhh … it's okay. Everything will be okay."

"Everything's a mess!" she countered miserably. "How am I supposed to fix this? What if she gets bad again – what if someone gets hurt? I couldn't bear to lose someone again … and then there's me! I shouldn't be … and back there I was … oh, Yukito-san … what's wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with you," he insisted firmly, supporting her round the shoulders as they began to walk down the road. He wasn't quite sure what she was talking about, but he could fill in the blanks.

"I shouldn't be feeling like this …" she whimpered.

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Yukito said soothingly. "The heart wants what it wants."

"I feel so much better when he's around," Sakura murmured dazedly. "My chest doesn't hurt as much …"

Yukito looked down at her anxiously. He knew Sakura hadn't been right for years, but she never talked about it – she didn't like worrying people. The fact that she was blurting all this out now meant that she was getting worse.

_Or, _he thought somewhat optimistically, _That Syaoran's making her better and it's just confusing her._

By the time he'd walked her to the shop, she'd stopped crying and she was only two minutes late.

"Everything will be all right," he promised her. "You should come to dinner with me and your brother soon – or maybe we should go over to your father's; he keeps saying he'd love to have us. I'll drop in tomorrow to set it up – and I'll bring Touya with me."

Sakura smiled slightly. "That's supposed to help?"

Yukito laughed, but suddenly Sakura's eyes widened worriedly. "You won't tell onii-chan, will you? About me crying, or … any of the other stuff?"

He shook his head. "I promise. Just remember we're both there if you need us."

She nodded, and Yukito kissed her on the forehead. "I love you."

Sakura waved and smiled for him, but the smile was noticeably forced. Yukito sighed heavily, wondering how on earth such a wonderful girl could have warranted such a cruel and vicious punishment. He knew vaguely of the sacrifice she'd made, mostly due to glimpses he got from Yue's subconscious. Something had died in her that day, the day when everything had gone to hell and Sakura had launched herself into the middle of it, emerging a pale shadow of what she'd been before. But Syaoran was back now, and the thought was a little comforting. Still, he didn't know which was worse for her – living with the hole in her heart, or constantly being tempted by the only thing that could fill it.

**xxx**

"She's not sleeping properly," Tomoyo said agitatedly, fiddling with the fringe of a cushion.

"I guessed," Syaoran replied shortly, not looking up from the book in front of him. "Is she dreaming?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "I haven't heard screaming, if that what you mean. But she murmurs a lot when I wake her up –"

"What does she say?" Syaoran asked, trying to sound casual and failing miserably.

Tomoyo shrugged. "I'm sorry. I don't understand. That sort of thing – nothing revealing." She paused, as if debating something, before adding, "And your name. She says that a lot. But I don't think she remembers saying it."

Syaoran didn't reply, and after a while she realised he wasn't going to. "So … what do you make of the cards?" she asked, watching Syaoran closely as he flipped the pages of the book distractedly.

"I don't know," he admitted finally. "Most of it seems obvious, but … I think they might have a bit of a conspiracy going on between them."

Tomoyo's eyes widened in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"A wrong decision, lies, Return … they're trying to make her look back," Syaoran answered, thinking over the cards that had shown themselves at the beginning. "They want her to get back what Void took from her."

"Well that's great, isn't it?" Tomoyo asked. "That's what we all want."

"Yeah," Syaoran agreed hesitantly. "Except there's no going back. She'll never be able to take back the sacrifice."

"But what if –?"

"Daidouji," he cut in quietly. "If you want to save her, you have to stop looking back. We can't fix the past. All I care about is salvaging her future."

"And what about yours?" Tomoyo asked quietly.

He didn't answer her. A future without Sakura … that was his sacrifice. And sacrifices couldn't be taken back.


	7. Warning

**Void**

**A/N:** See, told you I'd be quick! My compensation for making you wait for chapter six ;p But here is Touya in all his glory, with some more Yukito thrown in. Hope you like it!

It's now … two a.m., and I'm doing this instead of preparing for my presentation tomorrow. Which makes me an idiot. So I'm off to do that, and I won't say anything more. Just my usual thanks to the awesome reviewers who I adore, and of course the fabulous **SilentCynara**. Without you guys there'd be no story.

**Chapter Seven: Warning**

"_You have twelve new messages."_

"_Xiao Lang, this is your cousin, who you owe several shopping sprees and a car in order to compensate for what you're putting her through. They're not going to be stalled any longer – they're talking about sending someone down to Tokyo to find out what's taking you so long. You'd better come up with some evidence that you're actually working down there, or the elders are going to kick your –"_

Syaoran pressed the delete button, and then ended the call to his voicemail, refusing to listen to another eleven similar messages from his family.

They could threaten him all they wanted. He had more important things to do.

He looked a bit out of place, he knew. He was sitting at his table in the coffee shop, impeccably dressed in a Versace suit, and he was reading a decrepit book at least four centuries old. It was virtually falling to pieces in his hands. But he had to feel like he was doing _something _to help her.

Besides, he could feel her watching him, and he couldn't help but hope that his actions would make her feel a little better.

Sakura certainly seemed more cheerful this morning. She was flitting about, talking and smiling with the customers and her colleagues. He didn't know why she was happier today, but he certainly welcomed the change. It was hard to read Sakura sometimes – he found himself yearning for the days when they first met, and she was a wide open book.

He watched her as she handed a tea to a blushing high school boy, before tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. Syaoran noticed that the strap of her bra was showing, which made his face flame red.

Growing up just made things too complicated.

He wished, more than anything, that Sakura hadn't walked in on him yesterday in what was practically her underwear. It had added yet another dynamic to their already complicated, twisting relationship. For ten years, he'd loved Sakura the girl – the sweet, innocent twelve-year-old who was love and light and happiness incarnate. She was still all of those things, but yesterday had very forcibly made him realise that she was no longer a little girl. It was a very strange thing to love a memory of a girl one day, then love a woman the next. Loving a woman was very different.

Syaoran knew all about sex – how could he not, it was everywhere. Books, television, movies … he'd even had the harrowing experience of being educated on it by some select members of his clan. But he'd never actually done it – mostly because he'd yet to actually want a woman in that way.

Meiling used to tease him that he must be gay. His mother had gently hinted that he may feel more comfortable 'settling down' with someone once he got closure. He didn't want closure. He wanted Sakura. But since he couldn't have her, he'd resigned himself to eventually marrying some random woman that his elders picked then ensuring that she produced an heir.

He had responsibilities, after all.

But yesterday, he'd experienced for the first time what it was to actually _desire _a woman – even though she was still mostly covered, he'd definitely felt the pull and the heat that he'd always thought was exaggerated in the books and the films. And it was yet another complication that he really, _really _didn't need.

The solution was simple. He just had to stop thinking about her like that.

Syaoran groaned miserably, his head falling onto the table with a thunk.

Suddenly he heard her giggling, and he raised his head slightly to see what had caught her attention. To his embarrassment he realised that she was giggling at him and his display of despair. Syaoran blushed, realising he was being watched, but he smiled slightly at her.

Sakura beamed back. 'Hard?' she mouthed, pointing in the direction of the books.

He nodded. They were hard, so technically he wasn't lying.

She made a sympathetic face, pouting at him slightly. He blushed again, and for some reason that only made her laugh harder.

A customer called for her so Sakura turned away from him, and Syaoran sighed in relief. He was never sure how to act when she was all … he didn't have a word for it, but he knew what he meant.

Several minutes later, he felt her staring directly at him. Looking up, he saw that she was leaning against her hand, gazing at him intently. Once again he blushed, and he frowned curiously at her, wondering if something was wrong.

Seeing that she'd been spotted, Sakura giggled and ducked her head behind the tills.

She was _trying _to make him blush, he realised. Syaoran shook his head in bemusement, before turning back to his book. Then he felt her eyes on him again, and he looked up.

She laughed, hiding behind the tills again.

He turned red, but he couldn't help but laugh at … whatever she was doing. It had been ages since he'd seen her like this, and it made him happy to see her happy. She was adorable.

Sakura finally stopped giggling, and mouthed, 'Sorry' in his direction. He shrugged, his cheeks still tinged pink, before she blew a kiss playfully at him then skipped off help Hana move some tables by the door.

Flirting. That was the word. She was _flirting _with him.

Syaoran's head hit the table again. He was never going to understand women.

**xxx**

"Oh my God, you were _flirting_ with him!"

"W-What?" Sakura stammered indignantly. "I – no – no I wasn't!"

"You blew him a kiss," Hana pointed out.

"I – well, I …" she spluttered, before turning bright red as she realised that Hana was right. Her eyes widened in disbelief. "Since when do I do things like that?" she asked weakly.

"Since him," Hana replied gleefully. "He's bringing out the best in you, Sakura-chan. I knew you could be a flirt."

"I'm _not!"_ Sakura protested weakly. "I wasn't _trying _to flirt with him. I just wanted to make him smile … he's working so hard …"

_For me,_ she added to herself.

"You know, I'm going to start keeping a diary of everything that transpires between the two of you," Hana gloated. "Then after a week or so I'll show you, and you can try to tell me you're not falling in love with him. Plus I'll be able to show it to your kids. The two of you would have beautiful children."

Sakura turned to Hana with wide eyes, blushing furiously. "I-I'm sorry?" she croaked.

"You and Mystery Man over there," Hana mused, placing her pen in her mouth thoughtfully as she gazed at Syaoran, who had resumed flicking through his book. "What with that gorgeous hair, and your bone structure, and those smouldering amber eyes …"

"Hana-chan …" Sakura wailed. "You have to stop saying things like that! He wouldn't like it!"

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him!" Hana sang happily, beginning to construct a pyramid out of the paper cups. "What is his name anyway – actually no, don't tell me. I rather like calling him Mystery Man … it suits him."

"Hana-san!" Kenji groaned, stalking up to her from across the shop. "Will you _please _put the cups back how they were and do some work! Anything – cleaning, waiting tables, manning the till. I'm not fussy. Just do something to justify me presenting you with a pay packet at the end of the month!"

"Chill, boss," Hana beamed at him. "I'm on it."

Kenji sighed heavily, before turning to Sakura with a serious look on his face. "I need to make some calls, but when I come back out you and I need to have a chat, okay?"

Sakura gulped, a feeling of dread settling inside her stomach. "Um … o-of course, Kenji-san."

She watched Kenji leave for the office, gnawing on her thumbnail nervously. She was running over the last few days, trying to think of anything she'd done wrong, but she was drawing a blank. But she knew the look on Kenji's face – she was in trouble.

"Kaijuu!"

A smile spread over Sakura's face, all negative thoughts momentarily disappearing. "Onii-chan!" she cried, bounding up to her brother and throwing her arms around his waist.

"Yeah, yeah, get off me," Touya grumbled, refused to act as pleased as he felt – it had been a long time since he'd gotten a hug from his little sister. "I don't want people knowing we're related."

"Be nice, To-ya," Yukito scolded him.

Sakura stamped on her brother's foot, and then turned to Yukito with a grin. "Good morning, Yukito-san!"

"Good morning, Sakura-chan!" he replied, equally as happy as he ignored Touya hopping around on one foot.

"I see you were kind enough to drag onii-chan out of bed to see me," Sakura smiled. "Is he behaving himself?"

"Sometimes," Yukito grinned back. "How's everything going?"

"Pretty good!" she said brightly. "I've got a couple of days booked off work next week … oh, and Tomoyo-chan's going to take me to one of her fashion mingling party things!"

"No boys," Touya interjected.

Sakura rolled her eyes at him, stretching up to ruffle his hair. "Silly onii-chan," she giggled. "Do you two want coffee?"

"Is it free?"

She glared at her brother. "Yukito-san's is."

"But kaijuuuuuuu …"

"I'm not a kaijuu!" she wailed in protest.

"Give me free coffee and I'll think about stopping calling you that," Touya teased her.

"Yeah right," Sakura said, before demanding, "Give me a hug. A _decent _one."

Touya made a huge production out of rolling his eyes, but hugged his little sister tightly anyway. "It's good to see you, kaijuu," he muttered gruffly, releasing her. "You don't come by nearly enough any more."

"I know – I'm sorry," Sakura sighed, moving behind the counter and gesturing for them to follow her. "Things have been a bit … crazy, lately."

"You're too thin," Touya observed bluntly. "And you're pale. Have you been getting enough sleep?"

"Silly onii-chan. Always worrying about me," Sakura said gently, carefully evading the question.

Touya saw through the trick, but for once chose not to push his luck. Or rather, he'd wait until they were in a less public place to berate her for not taking care of herself.

Yukito was looking at her worriedly too, but he attempted to keep the conversation upbeat. "Anyway, the reason we're here is that we're going to your father's next week for dinner, and he wants you to come as well, so we said we'd drop by and ask you."

"We wanted free coffee," Touya threw in.

Sakura smiled at the thought of a home-cooked meal with her family. "Sounds great."

"So you'll come?" Touya asked sceptically.

Sakura laughed, busying herself with making up their coffees. "You sound surprised."

"I am," Touya grunted. "You're always busy."

"Oh, onii-chan, I'm not that bad!" Sakura sighed. "I'm just a normal person. I can't stay home every night because you want me to."

"I don't want you to," Touya replied grumpily, taking a long sip of the Americano she handed him. "I just want you to go to … approved places with approved people."

"No Y chromosomes," Yukito interjected with a grin.

"Onii-chan, I love you, but I refuse to become a recluse for you," Sakura smiled at him, taking the mug from his hands and placing it on a tray next to Yukito's latte. "Now, let me take these over for you."

The two men followed Sakura to a table by the window, letting her do her waitress bit and hand them their drinks.

"Do you need a lift to otou-san's?" Touya asked her.

"I can get the subway," Sakura replied. "But thanks for the offer."

"_Kaijuu …"_

"_Onii-chan," _she echoed, grinning at him playfully. "I'm a big girl."

Touya took to grumbling under his breath in an immature fashion, before picking up his Americano and taking a long gulp. Sakura had resumed talking to Yukito about trivial things Touya didn't care about (the dress she was wearing to Tomoyo's party), and so he amused himself by assessing his little sister's place of work. The pretty girl that reminded him of a vulture (Shihobu? Shiori? Shika? He couldn't remember) was leering at him and Yukito from behind the counter (maybe he should make an informative 'we're together' placard for him and Yuki), and the weird girl he'd met before (Hana, he remembered that one) was flicking her gaze between their table and another with decided interest.

He peered across the shop to see what else she was staring at, and was met by nervous and yet defiant amber eyes.

Touya proceeded to spit his coffee out all over the table.

"Touya!" Yukito cried in alarm.

Sakura grabbed some napkins and began to clean up the mess, watching her brother with wide eyes. "Onii-chan … what's the matter?"

He didn't answer her – he just continued to glare straight ahead.

"Onii-chan?" Sakura repeated worriedly, following his line of vision to see what he was glowering so fiercely at. "What is it –?"

"Sakura-san?" Kenji called out to her suddenly, emerging from the back office and beckoning her to follow him. "Can you come through for a moment, please?"

Sakura hesitated, torn between helping her brother and trying not to get into any more trouble with her boss. Eventually the latter won out, and she squeezed Touya reassuringly on the shoulder. "I'll just be a second, onii-chan …" she said, shooting an anxious glance as Yukito. He nodded slightly, and Sakura turned to follow Kenji into the back room.

The second the door closed behind her, Touya leapt out of his seat, grabbed a surprisingly unresisting Syaoran by the collar of his shirt, and hauled him out of the front door.

**xxx**

"Two dozen plates, fifteen mugs, an entire _order _of vanilla syrup, three chairs … need I go on?" Kenji listed, looking sternly at her. "This doesn't look good, Sakura-san."

"I know," Sakura said miserably, hanging her head. He was listing about half of the things she'd touched in the last twenty-four hours.

Kenji sighed heavily, taking his glasses off and cleaning them with the edge of his shirt. "I don't know what to say. I can't believe you'd take them –"

"I didn't, I swear!"

"I mean, for one, you had access to the management functions the entire time I was sick. It would have been more sensible to take money," Kenji pointed out grimly. "And for another … no. I know you would never steal from me."

"I really wouldn't," Sakura mumbled, feeling close to tears. "You've been so kind to me, I would never …"

"I know," Kenji said gently. "But the fact remains that I left you in charge. If it was just one thing, even two, I could let it slide, but this … Sakura-san, even you must see this is ridiculous."

Sakura nodded quickly, unable to meet his eyes.

"What it boils down to is that we've taken a massive loss because you've somehow managed to overlook someone – a member of staff, a customer, I don't know – robbing us blind. I mean, chairs? How could you possibly have missed someone taking chairs out of the store?"

She didn't have an answer for him, and so she kept her mouth shut.

"I hate to do this," he sighed. "But I left you responsible for this store, so I'm going to have to dock your wages to compensate for the loss."

Sakura's eyes widened, and she desperately wanted to protest, but she had nothing to say in her defence. After all, it was all her fault … just not in the way that Kenji thought it was.

"That seems fair."

"I'm glad you agree," Kenji said heavily. "You're a good waitress, Sakura-san – I'd hate to have to lose you over something that can be rectified by just keeping your eyes open."

She wanted to tell him that she'd do better, but she knew the problem was likely to get worse.

"We'll say no more about it." He sounded kinder now, but Sakura still couldn't bring herself to look at him. "Let's just … try harder from now on, ne?"

"Yes, Kenji-san," Sakura replied, bowing hurriedly before dashing out of the room.

Shiori-chan was hovering by the lockers, and smiled at Sakura as she headed for the shop floor. "Guess you're not the golden girl any more, huh?" she gloated.

Sakura paused, wanting to turn around and defend herself. But what could she say? Shiori was right – she was tainted now, submerged in a void that she could see no way out of. She was affecting other people, making them unhappy … what defence was there for that?

She didn't turn round. She just kept walking.

**xxx**

Before he had fully processed what had happened, Syaoran found himself dragged down a nearby alleyway and slammed against the wall.

"You …" his assailant growled. "How do you have the gall, the _guts_, to show your face here again?"

Syaoran refused to say anything, and Touya tightened his grip on his shirt.

"Answer me, _gaki_," he hissed threateningly. "You break her heart, you leave her as nothing but a shell, and you dare to come here … sitting where she works and sipping coffee as if you've done nothing wrong?"

Again Syaoran said nothing, and Touya lost his temper. He let go of Syaoran's shirt, reared back, and punched him square in the jaw.

Syaoran's head snapped back, but he stayed upright. He didn't even lean against the wall. He just stood there, his head hanging down, refusing to look Touya in the eye. To say the older man was surprised would be an understatement – he knew how skilled Syaoran was, even if he'd never say it aloud. And surely by now Syaoran would have taken over his clan, making him even more skilled and even more proud. Yet the boy hadn't ducked, hadn't fought back, hadn't even defended himself.

Somehow feeling angrier at the lack of response, Touya grabbed Syaoran's collar again, glowering in his face. "What the hell are you playing at? You could easily have avoided that!"

"I didn't want to," Syaoran replied evenly, still looking downwards. "I deserve it."

Touya scowled. "Quit playing games with me, gaki …"

"I'm not playing," he insisted. "Hit me a couple more times, if you want."

For a while, Touya was tempted to take him up on the offer. But there was something so … _broken _about the man in front of him that he couldn't bring himself to do it. At least not right now.

"I'm not going to hit someone too weak to fight back," Touya spat out. "I'm just going to warn you – get out of here. Now. I don't ever want to see you round here again."

"I'm sorry," Syaoran said quietly. "But that's something I can't do."

"What the hell do you want?" Touya asked, knowing that desperation was seeping into his voice no matter how hard he tried to stop it. "You destroyed her, don't you know that? You have to keep away –"

"I know you're trying to protect her," Syaoran ground out. "But I'm not the worst thing that could happen to her right now. And I bet you know that, Kinomoto."

Touya faltered slightly. "I only know what Yuki knows – and that's not a whole lot."

"You know something's wrong," Syaoran challenged.

"It doesn't matter if it is!" Touya yelled. "Sakura has plenty of people to protect her – she's got me and otou-san and Tomoyo and Yuki and those freaky protectors of hers – she has people that love her! She doesn't need you!"

"Maybe not," Syaoran said, still as evenly as when the conversation began. "But I'm not leaving her."

"Fine time to be noble now, huh?" Touya raged. "Now, after you've made her miserable. Ten years, gaki! That's a long time to live with a broken heart."

Finally Syaoran looked at him, and Touya was almost frightened by the coldness in his eyes. "Tell me about it."

Touya's face softened slightly, although his grip on Syaoran's shirt remained as tight as ever. "Where were you?" he asked, his voice now quiet and almost sad. "Where were you when that – whatever it was, whatever it did, I don't know. It … _destroyed_ my little sister's soul, and you weren't there to stop it! You know the only reason I didn't beat you to the ground on day one was because you protected her! We had an _agreement_, Li! Sure we never said anything, but you knew – you could stay if you took care of my sister! You were supposed to look after her when I couldn't! And you left her – you left her alone and she's gone! And it's your fault – it's all your fault!"

Syaoran regarded the man in front of him, who was breathing heavily and was glassy-eyed. "Why do you think I let you hit me?" he asked grimly.

"I don't want to hit you, I want answers!" Touya growled. "Where the hell were you?"

"I thought I could stop it by myself!" Syaoran snapped. "I let us get separated – and yes, I left her! Believe me, nothing you say will be able to make me feel any worse about it than I already do."

"You left her to play hero and she ended up paying for it!" Touya snarled.

"Exactly," Syaoran agreed. "So like I said, feel free to hit me again."

Touya evaluated him for a second, before letting go of the younger man's shirt. He realised with a start that Syaoran was now only an inch away from him in height. He was used to glaring down at chest level.

"I'm not going to hit you," he decided. "You look like you're punishing yourself enough for the both of us."

Syaoran didn't answer, and the two men stood in silence for a while.

"You know," Touya said suddenly. "Saving her this time isn't going to change what happened back then."

"I know," Syaoran agreed bitterly. "I can't change that. But I can't let it happen to her again."

Touya wasn't completely sure of what the boy was talking about, what this infamous 'it' was that had hurt his sister, but he could make some fairly accurate assumptions.

"It must be hard," Syaoran said. "For you and Tsukishiro-san. Just knowing half of what's going on all the time."

"We know more than you'd think," Touya replied grimly. "But don't tell her."

Syaoran nodded slightly.

"You know, I still hate you," Touya said.

"I'd be concerned if you didn't," Syaoran retorted.

Touya was quiet for a while, then turned to glare at the younger man. "You stay. You save her – and don't you dare mess up this time, gaki, or I'll hunt you down myself. And then you go back to Hong Kong, and you never, _ever_ go near her again. Do I make myself clear?"

"Perfectly," Syaoran replied quietly.

"I bet she smiles for you," Touya said suddenly, under his breath, and Syaoran wasn't quite sure that he was supposed to hear this bit. "She stopped smiling for us – really smiling – ten years ago."

Syaoran didn't know what to say to that. He thought of the smiles and the laughs she'd generously bestowed on him earlier, and he felt his heart twinge. If he was the only one she was like that for … what did that mean? Did it mean he had a chance, however slim, however tiny?

"I want those smiles back," Touya said softly. "And you're the only one who can do it. That's the only reason I'm letting you stay."

Syaoran nodded. "I understand."

"Of course you do," Touya muttered. "You know what it's like to live without her smile."

Touya stared hard at him for a long time, and although Syaoran didn't flinch under the gaze, the sorrow – not the anger – in the other man's eyes was making him feel downright uncomfortable.

"I don't just want you to save her – I want you to fix her. Fix my sister," Touya ordered one last time. "Fix her, then leave her alone so she can be happy."

"I promise."

Satisfied, Touya turned away and left Syaoran in the alleyway, staring blankly at bricks and cement.

**xxx**

She'd left her alone in the darkness this time – Sakura didn't know how long she'd been there, but it was long enough to reduce her to a hysterical mess.

There was no way to describe what it was like in the void, in the nothingness. It played with your mind, your heart, your memories … making you believe that you were alone, that there was no hope, no future, no love. Even someone like Sakura, who had the strongest heart imaginable, couldn't bear it for long before she crumbled.

Part of the problem was that she felt as if she was reliving a distant memory. She'd been in the void before, a long time ago. And now when she dreamt, the memories came back. The aching, burning misery in her chest as part of her soul was physically ripped away …

"_Have you had enough?"_

Sakura raised her head to confront her tormentor, but she couldn't see anyone.

"_Now do you understand what it's like to be me?"_

"Please," Sakura begged, and she hated how pathetic she sounded. "Let me out."

"_I'll let you out," _the Void taunted._ "You'll just be back tomorrow night. But for now … I'm taking some of my friends to keep me company."_

Sakura didn't know what she meant, and she couldn't bring herself to care. She was remembering again – the cold, the dark, the agony in her chest as she tried frantically to hold on to the part of her that was being torn away, screaming for him again and again.

"_He won't come," _the Void taunted her._ "He can't hear you."_

Sakura didn't know who the Void was talking about, or who she was screaming for. She just wanted him so badly.

"_He won't come. He can't come!" _the Void gloated gleefully, sounding almost manic_. "He's as trapped as you are!"_

For some reason, knowing that just made the pain worse.

**xxx**

This time, when Sakura woke up, it was Kero hovering over her head. He looked as close to frightened as she'd ever seem him, and on impulse Sakura grabbed hold of her guardian, hugging him tightly to her chest.

"Sakura? Are you okay?" Kero asked softly, his voice trembling slightly.

"I'm okay," Sakura assured him, rocking back and forth as she tried to convince herself of that fact. "Shhh, Kero-chan, don't worry. I'm all right."

"You were shaking, and screaming, and …" Kero trailed off anxiously. "It sounded like she was torturing you."

"N-No," Sakura protested. "She didn't touch me."

Which was technically true.

"Do you want me to call Tomoyo?" Kero offered.

Sakura's eyes widened. "No!" she protested hurriedly. "You know she's at her mother's tonight, you can't drag her all the way back!"

"What about the kid?"

"Syaoran-kun?" She went quiet at that suggestion. Suddenly she was struck by the urge to agree, to have Kero bring Syaoran here to her. He would make it better, she knew he would.

"No," she replied, though it was far less forceful. "No, let him sleep."

"But –"

"I'm fine, Kero-chan," Sakura insisted, trying to smile for him. "It's fine. They're only dreams, they can't hurt me. I'm going to go watch TV for a while, okay?"

"But it's two in the morning –"

"I'm not tired."

Kero bit his lip, looking like he wanted to protest, but he didn't dare go against his mistress's wishes. She _was_ tired, she was exhausted, but the poor girl didn't dare sleep.

"It's all right," she said softly, scooping up her guardian and kissing him on top of his head.

_She's more concerned with comforting me than herself,_ Kero realised with a pang. "Call me if you need me?" he asked almost pleadingly.

"I will," Sakura promised, smiling slightly. "Don't worry, Kero-chan. Everything will definitely be all right. After all, it's not like she's gotten any worse, right?"

"Right," Kero agreed weakly, watching sadly as Sakura left the room.

How was he supposed to tell her that five of her cards had disappeared while she was dreaming?

**A/N:** -flexes fingers- And now for some fluff! With substantial quantities of misery thrown in, of course (c'mon guys, it's me!), but hey, fluff is fluff!


	8. Unspoken

**Void**

**A/N:** What's the matter with me? I try to write fluff and I end up with yet more tears. Oy vey. However, if it helps: **There will be a kiss next chapter!! **(And no, not between Sakura and Tai!)

Sorry for the delay, folks – a few minor technical hitches! But the good news is that chapter nine is finished, and just needs editing before it can be posted!

Hope all of you who celebrated Easter yesterday had a great time and loads of chocolate! And as always, thank you to the wonderful reviewers – particularly **jennycuenca**, my 200th reviewer! – and to **SilentCynara **for dealing with all of this plus my extra scenes and indecisiveness, and pushing me towards the fluff! Coz let's face it, I need all the help I can get XD

**Chapter Eight: Unspoken**

Sakura skipped out of her room, dressed in a white summer dress in preparation for her family dinner that evening. A smile spread across her face as she saw Syaoran, sitting in the same place he'd been all day: on the floor, his back against a couch and his shirt sleeves rolled up, frowning intensely as he studied the ancient tome propped up on his knees.

He looked so cute when he was concentrating.

Syaoran looked up and saw her staring and him, before becoming flustered and dropping the book.

Sakura giggled as she slowly made her way over to him, peering at the papers scattered around him, which were covered in his own notes and charts. He'd been at their apartment every day for a week now, trawling the books in hope of finding an answer for her.

Bending down, Sakura picked up several pieces of notepaper, covered in complex looking diagrams of astrological signs and quickly scribbled incantations. "Wow, this looks interesting," she said excitedly. "What are these?"

"Well …" Syaoran smiled slightly, pulling the paper out of her hands and turning it the right way up. "Clow's written a lot of complex theories regarding astrological influences on magic – he was governed by the moon and the sun, you have your star, etcetera …"

Sakura briefly wondered how he knew about her star, but she didn't interrupt him.

"… So I was drawing out the symbols and seeing if there was a way to combine certain aspects that, according to Clow's theory, could render certain magic sources dormant."

She looked at him excitedly. "And is there?"

"Um … no."

"Oh."

For some reason, Sakura was struck by the strongest urge to giggle, but she stopped herself. "How long did this take you?" she asked curiously.

"About seventeen hours."

"Oh, Syaoran-kun …" she breathed, suddenly feeling guilty. All this time he was sacrificing for what was probably a lost cause.

"Oh, ah, no – don't worry," Syaoran babbled, seeing the look on her face. "I mean, it was actually pretty interesting … I quite enjoyed it."

Sakura did smile at that, before announcing, "You're a geek."

"I – hey!" he protested indignantly.

She started laughing. "Don't get me wrong, it's okay to be a little geeky!"

"I am _not _a geek!" Syaoran scowled, grabbing a cushion from the couch and throwing it at her.

Before he even knew what was happening, Sakura had launched herself at him with an armada of cushions in tow.

He couldn't help but laugh. In less than a week, he and Sakura had merged into some strange kind of a normal relationship, interspersed with moments of intense awkwardness and guilt. Which was why he lived for moments like this – when she was relaxed and happy, and he could pretend that they were just another normal couple …

"Um … am I interrupting anything?"

Sakura and Syaoran suddenly looked at each other, blushing furiously when they realised that Sakura was now straddling Syaoran's waist as she playfully bopped him over the head with a throw pillow. Sakura virtually threw herself off Syaoran, while he picked up a random book and began to leaf through it intensely.

"Oh ho ho ho ho …" Tomoyo laughed evilly, earning herself a glare from Syaoran as she sat primly on a chair. "So … how's it going?"

"Not good," Syaoran replied. He would have said it was pointless, but he didn't want to upset Sakura.

"I'm sorry," Tomoyo said. "I'd offer to help, but I need to head to the studio in half an hour."

Sakura frowned. "It's six o'clock!"

"I know, but I think I'm going to have to pull an all-nighter up there – we've got a huge show in a couple of days. But anyway – I've been thinking," Tomoyo sighed heavily. "I think we ought to call Hiiragizawa-kun."

"No," Sakura said shortly.

Syaoran beamed despite himself. "I agree."

Tomoyo frowned at her friend, completely bemused. "What do you mean no -?"

"We're not dragging anyone into this who doesn't have to be," Sakura replied firmly. She bit her lip as she realised that Syaoran was very much involved, and she hadn't once protested against his help – but that was different. She _needed _Syaoran.

"But –"

"I'm the mistress," Sakura sighed heavily, picking up one of Syaoran's books. "I have to be able to deal with things like this; it's my job!"

"Hiiragizawa-kun might be able to help," Tomoyo insisted.

"No, Tomoyo-chan," Sakura said. And that was the end of that.

A slightly awkward silence fell between the three of them, and so Syaoran decided to break it. "Do you have a calculator?"

Tomoyo looked at him oddly. "Why do you want … no, I don't even dare ask. There's one on the desk in my room, help yourself."

Syaoran got to his feet, deciding to let the girls hash out their differences over Hiiragizawa Eriol without him – he had no desire to discuss the pompous bastard who was, in his opinion, more trouble than he was worth.

He sighed as he headed for Tomoyo's desk, wondering how on earth he'd ended up in two different girl's rooms in as many weeks. The desk was nothing like he'd expected – while the rest of the room was immaculate, Tomoyo's desk consisted of piles of papers, sketches, watercolour paints, magazines … the list went on. Finally he seized the calculator and turned to leave – but something stopped him in his tracks.

Up on the highest shelf, tucked away in the corner, was the bear he'd given Sakura all those years ago.

Almost as if in a trance, Syaoran moved towards the toy, pulling it down and holding it in his arms as if it were made of glass. He sat on the bed and ran a hand over the material, remembering each painstaking stitch, each carefully measured piece of fabric, the hours he had spent slaving away, knowing-but-not-knowing who the bear was really intended for. And then he'd handed it to her at the airport – back when he was a child and had been foolish enough to consider leaving her voluntarily, before he'd known what life without Sakura was like. She'd taken it, and neither of them had said a word – but she'd smiled for him, and he'd never felt that happy …

"I'm sorry."

Syaoran jumped, turning round to see Tomoyo standing in the doorway. He must've been in there for longer than he realised.

Tomoyo shut the door behind her, keeping her voice low as she approached him. "I didn't want to take it away, I really didn't," the girl said, sounding sadder than he'd ever heard her before. "But she just … she kept crying, every time she'd look at it. She couldn't remember how she'd gotten it, but somehow it still made her feel … she'd just burst into tears and stay in her room for hours, cuddling it. She wouldn't throw it away, no matter what we told her. So I …"

"Why did you keep it?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know," Tomoyo sighed. "It felt like throwing it away … would be giving up on her. On both of you."

"It wasn't supposed to be like this for her," Syaoran mused, tracing the bear's face with his finger. "Void was supposed to take her feelings, not her memories. That stupid card must have known there were things that would remind her and make her cry."

"Kero-chan said the memories had to be taken too," Tomoyo sighed. "Feelings and memories are just … too interlinked for someone like her. I mean, how could Sakura-chan remember you and what you'd done for her without … without feeling …"

He nodded to show he understood. "It's still a risk, though. I mean what if – I don't know – she found your tapes of the card captures, for example? What happens when she's forced to remember?"

"It would destroy her," Tomoyo replied bluntly. "Her mind would break. That's why we've been so careful – it's why we didn't try and make you come back after you went home. It's why I destroyed all of my tapes."

Syaoran's mouth fell open. "You … _destroyed _the tapes?" he echoed in disbelief. For the longest time those tapes had been Tomoyo's life.

"I had to. I couldn't risk it, especially when we started living together," she said sadly. "She's the most important thing. You know that, Li-kun."

For the longest time the two of them sat there, staring at the stuffed bear and all it represented. Then Syaoran thrust it at her, unable to look at it any longer. "We should get back in there – she might start to worry," he said stiffly.

"But Li-kun –"

He walked out to find Sakura practically bouncing, obviously bored from being left alone too long. "Ne, ne, Syaoran-kun!" she cried excitedly, patting the spot next to her. "Come help me with this, would you?"

Syaoran smiled slightly, her enthusiasm alleviating the ache in his stomach temporarily. "What's the matter?"

"It's these diagrams," Sakura pouted, brandishing a book in his face as he sat beside her on the floor. "I don't get it."

"Let me see," he instructed.

To his shock, Sakura picked herself up and settled herself between his legs, her back resting comfortably against his chest. "See?" she asked, holding the book up in front of him. "I can't figure out what the symbols are representing because the key is in English."

Syaoran didn't know what to say – he _couldn't_ say anything. All he could register was that Sakura was pressed right up against him, so warm and so soft and just … perfect. How could she expect him to think in this position? He couldn't _breathe _in this position.

"Syaoran-kun?"

"Uhhh …" Okay, all he had to do was just stay calm and answer the question – what _was_ it about Kinomoto Sakura that turned him back into a stuttering ten-year-old? "D'you want me to find you a book in Japanese?"

She giggled. "No, I want to know about this! It looks so interesting!"

"Um … w-well …" Syaoran stammered helplessly.

Sakura twisted round to face him, frowning in concern. "Are you okay? You look a bit funny."

Initially he thanked God for making her so naïve. Then she started to move her hand through his hair in what he assumed she thought was a soothing motion. To him it was more like fanning the flames.

"You're hair's so soft," Sakura observed quietly, leaning her forehead against his.

Syaoran desperately tried to get a hold of himself, though he felt as if his heart was going to burst right out of his body. "I – uh …"

Sakura shifted again, turning so that she was fully facing him, her body completely pressed against his as she continued to stroke his hair. Suddenly she felt herself moving closer towards him, and she felt the strongest desire to –

The telephone started ringing, and for the second time that night Sakura flung herself as far away from Syaoran as possible.

Syaoran watched her with wide eyes as she scrambled for the phone. It had looked, felt like she was about to kiss him. The very thought made his stomach turn over with nerves, but he couldn't deny it was something he wanted, more than anything. He was fascinated by the thought of her lips on his, but at the same time he felt awful for even thinking about it. How could he look at Sakura in that was when she was going through such hell, when she was seeing another man?

_But she was the one who did it, _he thought, smiling at her softly. It was a small comfort to think that maybe, just maybe, she'd been thinking the same sort of thing about him.

"H-Hello?" Sakura answered the phone rather breathlessly.

"Kaijuu," a voice answered gruffly. "Me and Yuki are in the car outside, get down here."

"O-Onii-chan?" Sakura stuttered, still trying to pull herself together. "I told you I was taking the subway!"

"And I decided we're giving you a lift," Touya countered, "So hurry up."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Baka onii-chan – Syaoran-kun, can you throw me my purse?"

"What the – Sakura!" Touya barked, suddenly alert. "That gaki had better not be in your apartment!"

She blinked in confusion. "What gaki?"

"The Li kid!" Touya roared back.

"Hoe?" Sakura frowned. "I didn't know you and Syaoran-kun knew each other."

"We met at the coffee shop," Touya started to explain, before stopping and moving on to more important issues. "Look, I don't want you hanging around him."

"Honestly, onii-chan …" Sakura sighed. "I thought you got over this anti-boy thing!"

"What gave you that idea?"

"Well I know you always joke 'No boys' and stuff, but you've never been worried about me seeing Tai-kun," she pointed out distractedly, pulling on her shoes.

That was because she didn't love Tai. Touya knew full well that he didn't have to worry about his sister as far as Tai was concerned – she wouldn't let him come near her. She couldn't. He no longer needed to do the protective big brother act, because Sakura had, in effect, become her own safety net.

Syaoran, however, was another story. Sakura could easily fall in love with him again. And that made him a threat – the only threat that Touya was really worried about.

"Just don't get too close to him," Touya ordered.

Sakura blushed guiltily. "Why would I?"

"No reason," Touya sighed. "Just get down here, okay?"

She frowned in confusion as he hung up, before replacing the phone and grabbing her purse. "So … do I look okay?" she asked shyly.

"You look …" Syaoran knew he should say fine, but that didn't really feel adequate enough. "… Nice."

Sakura beamed as though he'd just called her the most beautiful woman in the world. "Thank you – oh, I'd better run. Will you be here when I get back?"

"Probably." He usually stayed until late at night.

She smiled again, and blew him another kiss (it had become a habit of hers lately, and had absolutely nothing to do with her desire to feel his lips beneath hers – nothing at all). "I'll see you then – bye! Bye, Tomoyo-chan! Good luck at the studio!" she added in the direction of her best friend's room, before happily skipping out of the front door.

Syaoran sighed heavily – he was never going to understand the way she acted around him. One minute she was friendly, the next embarrassed, and the next she was all over him as if she wanted to …

Still, no matter how confusing he found it, he was sure it was a million times worse for her.

**xxx**

"… And here she was when we went to Malaysia, just before you were born, Touya-san. She had to slather herself in sun cream because she burns so easily!"

Sakura smiled, dutifully accepting the photograph of her mother that was being passed around. Family dinners at her father's house ended this way at least half of the time, with Fujitaka breaking out the photographs of his deceased wife. It might seem a little depressing, but in truth it wasn't – Fujitaka told the funniest stories about her, and they always laughed and joked and had a good time. It was a celebration of Nadeshiko's life, rather than mourning, and it just felt like a nice way to include her in their gathering.

"And _this,_" Fujitaka said fondly, handing another set of pictures to Touya, "Was your mother's last photo shoot before she had you. She always said they were so good because she was excited at the prospect of having a baby."

Touya laughed, his manner gentler than it was usually. He always softened whenever his mother was mentioned.

"She was so pretty," Sakura sighed wistfully.

"She really was," her father agreed, looking at a stray picture with a smile on his face. "She looked a lot like you, Sakura-san – in the face, and the eyes, and the smile."

Sakura blushed slightly, just as she always did when people compared her to the beauty that was her mother.

"Anyway," Fujitaka sighed heavily, getting to his feet. "Let's get you kids some dessert."

Sakura, Touya and Yukito followed him through to the kitchen, all four of them comfortably quiet. Fujitaka cut them some cake, sat with them a little while, then headed back out to the living room to clean up the pictures.

"I worry about him sometimes, all by himself," Sakura sighed, picking at her cake.

"He's fine, kaijuu," Touya replied, rolling his eyes. "Not everyone needs to be bouncing off the walls twenty-four seven to be happy."

Sakura glared at him, and was ready to retort when her father suddenly burst back into the kitchen, his face as white as paste.

"Sakura-san," he choked out, "Touya-san … Yukito-san … _tell me_ one of you put the pictures away before we came out here?"

All three shot him an odd look. "What are you talking about, otou-san?" Touya asked worriedly.

"They're gone," Fujitaka replied shakily. "All the pictures … _everything _of your mother's that we had out. It's all just disappeared."

"What?" Touya barked, leaping to his feet and running out of the room.

"It's all right," Yukito said quickly, his voice low and soothing as he guided Fujitaka to the kitchen table. "It can't have disappeared – it'll be around somewhere, you'll see." He shot an anxious look at Sakura, who had gone so white she looked like she was about to pass out. "Let's just calm down," he continued, looking at her pointedly. "We don't even know that anything's happened yet."

That theory was shot down the moment Touya reappeared. "It's all gone. Everything."

"Well," Yukito fumbled, desperately trying to keep everyone calm. "It – It was just a couple of boxes …"

"No, Yuki," Touya spat. "I went up to the attic – _everything's _gone. Every single box, picture, everything we saved … god dammit, even the piano's gone!"

Touya punctuated his statement by slamming his fist into the wall in anger, causing Sakura to let out a frightened cry.

"Touya, don't!" Yukito said firmly, rushing over and putting an arm around him. "That won't help, we'll find them …"

"How the hell do we do that, Yuki?" Touya ranted, shooting a look at his sister. Sakura felt awful – Touya would walk through hell for her, but a direct attack on their mother was the one thing he couldn't stomach. She hung her head, feeling more miserable that she ever had before.

"It's not her fault," Yukito whispered sharply in his ear.

"I know," Touya ground out. "I just – I don't – this is my _mother _we're talking about!"

"Otou-san?" Sakura said in a small voice, reaching her hand across to her father. "Otou-san, are you okay?"

Fujitaka was motionless, in an almost catatonic state as he stared at the spot on the table where Nadeshiko's picture used to rest.

"Otou-san?" she tried again, her voice breaking as her father again refused to respond to her.

"Touya, let's take him upstairs," Yukito said quickly. "He doesn't look well."

"What should I do?" Sakura asked almost desperately.

"You stay here," Yukito replied kindly. "Just calm yourself down and … well, if you need to do anything, we'll be upstairs for a while, okay?"

Sakura watched them go, before leaning her head on her arms and trying to fight off the tears. She couldn't forget the look on her father's face when he'd come running in – her wonderful, kind father who had always been so strong … even when her mother had died, he'd never lost it in front of his children. But this … this was just too much. No one deserved this less than her father did …

_If you need to do anything, we'll be upstairs for a while, okay?_

Sakura's eyes flashed, and she hurried through to the living room, slamming the door shut behind her. She wrenched the key from around her neck, held it out in front of her, and began reciting the spell she hadn't used in years.

_Hoshi no chikara o himeshi kagi yo  
Shin no sutaga o ware no mae ni shimese  
Keiyaku no moto Sakura ga meijiru  
Release!_

She felt more powerful with her staff in her hands, and somewhat calmer. She had to deal with this quickly.

Sakura pulled out the Void card, now regretting her decision to start carrying it with her again. She'd stopped leaving it at home after it had taken a whole batch of Tomoyo's sketches, but after today she figured it would have to be banished to the book again.

"Void! I want to talk to you – show yourself at once!" she ordered angrily.

Nothing happened. The card merely floated in the air as though mocking her.

She knew she shouldn't be surprised. But Sakura could feel panic rising in her chest, feel her throat tightening and her heart beginning to pound.

"As your mistress, I'm ordering you to materialise!" she tried again, hearing her voice starting to shake.

The card remained unchanged, and Sakura dropped the staff to the ground in defeat. If she needed any more proof that the Void was out of her control, this was it. She had just denied a direct order from her mistress, which should be impossible.

Sakura hung her head, feeling tears burn her eyes as helplessness raged within her. She didn't want to hurt the card, she really didn't. And yet she was contemplating doing exactly what she'd scolded Syaoran for last week. She didn't want to hurt her – just to make her come out.

"This is your last chance!" Sakura tried desperately. "Show yourself or I'll have to make you!"

In retaliation, an entire cabinet of rare artefacts that Fujitaka had collected from all over the world was engulfed in a black sphere, before vanishing out of sight.

Sakura lost it. "Why are you doing this?" she yelled, lifting the Wood in an attempt to force the Void out of her sanctuary without being too violent.

She never even got to issue the command. To her horror, the card in her hand vanished into nothingness, before a beam of dark magic shot out of the Void and slammed into her chest. Sakura flew across the room, crashing into something and feeling glass breaking all around her, showering into her hair, onto her face. Then a particularly large piece swung down, imbedding itself into the skin of her arm.

Everything went black.

**xxx**

When Sakura burst back into the apartment at ten o'clock, she was bruised, battered, and clutching at a gash on her forearm.

Syaoran sprang to his feet, his books falling to the floor with a clatter as he ran to her. "What the hell?" he muttered in disbelief.

Before he knew what was happening, Sakura had flung herself into his arms, clinging to him as if he was her only lifeline. Syaoran swallowed, awkwardly placing his arms around her and realising to his dismay that she was shaking. "What is it?" he asked her anxiously.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice trembling as much as her body, "Oh God, I'm so sorry, but please … please can you stay a while? I can't bear it; I can't stand this any more …"

"Hey," Syaoran interrupted gently, feeling worry flare up in him as he watched the constantly positive girl struggle to keep herself from falling to pieces. "Of course I'll stay if you – what's happened? What's the matter?"

"W-We had a fight," Sakura sniffed, sounding as if she was desperately trying not to cry.

"What do you mean?" Syaoran asked uncertainly, taking her bag from her and gently leading her over to the couch.

"Me and her," Sakura said, her voice unsteady. "She – I tried to make her come out of the card. I just … I wanted her to face me, to tell me why she's doing all this …"

"What did she do?" Syaoran asked.

"But she wouldn't come, no matter how many times I ordered her to," she continued, completely ignoring Syaoran's question. "I wasn't going to _hurt _her – I just wanted to talk, to try and work something out …"

"What did she do to you?" he repeated more firmly.

"She – She took everything," Sakura replied weakly, her lower lip trembling. "W-We had pictures out – my mother's pictures – and she took _everything_ of hers … oh, all of okaa-san's pictures … and I never even got to show them to you …"

"Sakura …" Syaoran said softly, not knowing what to say, unable to ask why she'd wanted to show her mother's pictures to _him_, of all people.

"My father was in pieces," she murmured, a tiny sob escaping before she clamped her lips shut against it, her whole body shaking with the effort of trying not to cry. "I've never seen otou-san look so … so …"

Syaoran sighed heavily, gently touching her bleeding arm. "How did this …?"

"S-She got angry when I tried to make her come out," she said. "She hit out at me with one of her … energy … things. I hit the television and everything smashed, and now otou-san and onii-chan and Yukito-san are going to worry and I didn't want that, I didn't …"

"Let me clean you up," Syaoran said, a little more bluntly than he'd intended. He'd never been very good at dealing with crying people.

"I know she's upset," Sakura continued, even as he went into the bathroom in search of a first aid kit, "But – but that was my _mother_. At least the others remember her, but I don't, and those pictures … they were all I had …"

"We'll get them back," Syaoran said gruffly, trying to control his instinct to rip the card away from Sakura and set it on fire.

"I just can't reason with her … I don't know what to do …" she said, sounding like a lost little girl as Syaoran placed her arm on his lap and began applying disinfectant to it.

"Did your family see anything?" Syaoran asked, hating himself for being so business-like about this. She needed comfort, he knew – he just didn't know how to give it.

"N-No," Sakura shook her head slightly. "She waited until we were out of the room. Onii-chan came down after she threw me at the television, but I was only unconscious for a few seconds, so I got up and just ran past him, I – I didn't know how to explain it, I couldn't face him – oh, he's so mad at me for this …"

"I'm sure he'll understand," Syaoran said gently, knowing that Touya would probably be able to guess what happened.

They sat together in silence for a while, as Syaoran carefully bandaged up her arm. Then to his dismay, he saw drops of water falling on to the material, and he looked up to see Sakura sobbing silently, tears falling down her face and into her lap.

"Sakura," he said, completely at a loss. "I – don't cry, please …"

"I'm sorry!" she choked out, pressing a hand to her mouth as though trying to keep her cries in. "I'm so sorry, I – maybe you should go …"

"I'm not leaving you like this," Syaoran replied firmly, reaching over and prying her hand away from her lips. "If you want to cry, then cry. There's no point in trying to stop it."

The dam broke at those words, and Sakura fell forward onto his lap like a puppet that had had its strings cut, sobbing almost hysterically. Syaoran didn't say anything – he didn't know _what _to say. He was awful at things like this. So he rubbed her back and stroked her hair, hoping she knew that it was the most he knew how to offer her.

Some time later her cries subsided, and Syaoran looked down to see that she was fast asleep, her head lolling against his shoulder and an arm wrapped loosely around his waist. He didn't want to move her, even though the position was less than comfortable. Instead he picked up her hand, toying with her fingers gently (had her hands always been this much smaller than his?) as he watched her sleep. She really was beautiful, he thought. Then again, she always had been. Her hair might be longer and her face might be more defined, but she was still the beautiful girl he'd fallen in love with ten years ago.

Sakura whimpered in her sleep, and Syaoran instinctively held her tighter, letting out a shaky breath. She wasn't the same though, he knew. This Sakura had dark circles under her eyes and tensed up in her sleep. This Sakura was dreaming of things he couldn't even begin to imagine.

"Shhhh …" he hushed her softly, pushing her hair back from her forehead. "Only good dreams tonight."

"Kid?"

Syaoran blushed hotly, embarrassed at being caught out by the plushie. Still, Kero was an ally, and he'd take what he could get. "Did you hear what happened?"

Kero nodded. "I could hear her in the other room, but I thought I should leave her with you for a little while."

Kero being sensitive – now there was a first.

"Put her in the bed," the guardian suggested gently, "Lord knows she needs the sleep."

Syaoran was reluctant to let her go, but he knew Kero was right – if she woke up in this position she'd only be embarrassed. So while Kero flew off into the kitchen after a midnight snack, he picked Sakura up carefully and took her into her room, laying her down on the unmade bed. He didn't dare change her – his heart couldn't take it, and besides, Kero would kill him – so he took off her shoes and jewellery before covering her up with the blanket.

He smoothed the material down for longer than was necessary, unable to tear his eyes away from her face. For the moment she was relaxed and peaceful, and Syaoran couldn't help but watch her lips, which were slightly parted as she slept. He swallowed hard, gently brushing her hair back again. "Sweet dreams, okay?" he said softly, willing himself to get to his feet.

But he couldn't. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her lips. He bent closer to her, wanting nothing more than to press his lips to hers and kiss her, just this once, this one time. It couldn't hurt, could it? She would never know …

He hovered over her, his lips only a hair's breadth away from hers. All he had to do was lean forward slightly, and he'd be kissing the woman he loved.

Suddenly it struck him just what he was doing. Syaoran tore himself away from her, falling off the bed and onto the floor. He sat there, breathing heavily and shaking in pure disbelief. He'd almost taken advantage of her – tried to force himself on her. If he'd done that and she'd woken up …

Syaoran swore softly in self-loathing, before spinning back to look at Sakura. She was still sleeping. Frantically he grabbed her hand, pressing his lips to the back of it and the palm and the fingers, again and again and again. "I'm sorry," he murmured desperately, kissing her fingertips. "I'm so, so sorry …"

He calmed down eventually, placing her hand back on the bed as he shakily made his way out of the room. He had to be more careful than that. She deserved more from him.

"You off?" Kero asked him, his mouth full of pudding as he watched Syaoran packing up his stuff.

Syaoran nodded. "I'll take some books with me and work on them at the hotel. She needs peace and quiet."

The guardian beast was watching him closely, and Syaoran blushed guiltily, knowing that Kero was not as ignorant as he pretended to be. "Nothing happened," he defended himself instinctively.

"I know," Kero shrugged.

"Yeah – well …" Syaoran fumbled, before stuffing some of his notes into his briefcase and getting to his feet. "See you tomorrow."

"See ya," Kero replied, settling down with his pudding.

He walked down the hall and had his hand on the doorknob when –

"SYAORAN!"

Wide-eyed, Syaoran swung round to look at a surprisingly calm Kero in horror, before dropping his briefcase and running back into her room.

When he got there, he saw why Kero hadn't reacted the way he'd expected. She was still asleep, and the card didn't appear to have placed her in any mortal danger. But she was crying – screaming and sobbing his name as she tossed and turned, the blanket on the floor and the sheets twisted round her limbs.

"Sakura – Sakura, stop!" he cried, hurrying over and grabbing her flailing hands before she caught anything on her nightstand. "It's okay, it's just a dream."

"Syaoran!" she sobbed quietly. "No, no, no … please don't … don't take him away …"

He felt his heart break, and he picked up her trembling form and pressed it against his chest. He might not be any good at comforting, but this was unbearable – he had to do something. "Shhh," he hushed her, his voice quavering slightly. "I'm right here."

"No," Sakura cried quietly, clinging to him in her sleep. "I don't want you to go …"

"I'm not going anywhere," he soothed. To his horror, he saw two cards fly out of her bedside drawer and disappear into thin air. He tensed for a moment, considering withdrawing his sword and trying to get them back – but where would that get him? He had no idea what he could do to return them, and besides, Sakura needed him more right now. So he sat with her, rocking her back and forth as her cries gradually died out.

When she was finally quiet, Syaoran laid her back down, extricating her legs from the sheets and covering her with the blanket for the second time that night. He took up her hand again, content to sit beside her all night if he had to and chase her demons away.

"M'sorry …" she mumbled, and for a moment he thought she'd woken up. But her eyes were closed, and she was just talking in her sleep.

"Shhh …" he hushed her, placing a kiss on her forehead despite himself. "You have nothing to be sorry for …"

"Sorry I didn't try harder," Sakura whimpered, tears slipping out from under her closed eyelids. "I wanted to keep you with me … I tried, Syaoran-kun …"

"I know," Syaoran assured her, his voice trembling no matter how hard he fought to remain in control. "I know you tried."

"I miss you," she sobbed to herself, clenching the sheets in her fists as she cried. "I miss you … I want you back with me …"

"Sakura, please," Syaoran begged, unable to take any more but unable to leave her either.

"And I'm sorry …" she continued to whisper, "n'ver told you … I never said …"

Syaoran felt his chest constrict as he realised what she was trying to say, and his eyes and throat began to burn. "It's okay. I knew. And I …" His voice broke, and before he could stop himself two tears had fallen onto the bedspread.

"I love you too."


	9. Initiative

**Void**

**A/N:** And here's some fluff – I promise, there's the bare minimum of angst in here. Honest XD

To every single one of my reviewers – thank you so much for taking the time to leave such wonderful comments. There are no words to say how much I enjoy reading them all. Although I do apologise to those of you I made cry with the last chapter!

And of course, to **SilentCynara**, who really ought to be named honorary co-author for this chapter due to the abundance of suggestions and lines she painstakingly sent over for me!

**Chapter Nine: Initiative**

When Syaoran entered the coffee shop the next morning, he found Sakura sitting at his usual table, sipping at a caramel macchiato.

The role reversal threw him for several seconds, as he tried to figure out why she was drinking coffee instead of serving customers. Then he realised he was staring (and amusing her greatly in the process), and hurriedly began to back away. "Oh, ah … I'll go find another table."

"Don't be silly!" she cried, jumping up in protest and catching hold of his hand. "I sat at your table because I _wanted _to sit with you."

"Oh," Syaoran said stupidly, sitting down opposite her. She looked a little different than normal – okay, so she never really dressed up for work, but she never turned up in short denim cut-offs and the smallest pink tank top in the world either.

Maybe he was exaggerating a little. The point was he hadn't seen this much of her skin since the other week, and the memory wasn't necessarily a good thing at that moment in time. He cleared his throat awkwardly, "Um … why are you drinking coffee?"

She giggled happily. "It's my day off!"

Syaoran raised an incredulous eyebrow. "And you're spending it at your place of work?"

Sakura blushed. "Ah, no … I just wanted to run in to you today."

"Oh." He blushed too. "I … I would've come by the apartment later."

"I know," she sighed, keeping her head lowered so that her bangs covered her eyes. "But I wanted to say thank you – I seem to be saying that to you a lot lately – for last night. I know I was a mess …"

"No you weren't," Syaoran cut in gently.

He'd die before he'd tell her that he hadn't slept all night, hearing her call for him over and over again, seeing her sobbing helplessly as she clutched at his shirt. She didn't know she'd done that, he was sure. And she didn't know that she'd virtually told him that she'd loved him, all those years ago. That part, in a way, was even worse – knowing she'd loved him almost as desperately as he still loved her.

"I was," she retorted, oblivious to his thoughts. "Don't worry; I'll be better. I have to be if we're going to stop her, right?"

"You're pushing yourself too hard," he said firmly.

Sakura shrugged. "So are you."

They sat in silence for a while, her drinking coffee and him playing with a stray sachet of sugar. Finally Sakura broke the silence, laying her hand on top of his own. "Do you miss your home?" she asked quietly.

"No," he said, more than a little too quickly. Home was just another place she wasn't – another place he couldn't see her smile, hear her laugh, feel her hand on his …

He looked down, almost surprised to see her hand on top of his. Usually he freaked out every time she touched him. He was obviously getting used to these little signs of her affection, and he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

"You must do," Sakura replied, looking forlorn. "And your job … I must be getting you in so much trouble."

"It's fine," he tried to assure her, resolutely not thinking about the thousands of voice messages and the Li Clan representatives on the verge of setting off for Tokyo. "I'm the boss; I can leave whenever I like. Besides … it's nice to have a bit of a break from it all."

She smiled slightly. "Not much of a break."

"It's my first since I was eighteen," he replied.

Sakura gasped, her eyes wide. "You've not had a day off since you were _eighteen?"_

Syaoran shrugged, confused by her horrified expression. What else did he have to do in Hong Kong besides work? "Well … Christmas Day?" he offered weakly.

"You … that's awful," Sakura said, aghast. "Just awful. No holidays, no lie-ins … not even your birthday?"

When she put it that way, it sounded a little pathetic. "No."

If he wasn't at work, he would be sitting in his room, brooding over her … where she was, what she was doing, if she was happy. And that would be even more pathetic.

"Not even a sick day?"

"I don't get sick."

Sakura stared at him in wide-eyed horror for several more seconds, before draining her coffee cup and getting to her feet. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" Syaoran asked in confusion.

"To have some fun!" she replied brightly, pulling on her coat and throwing his to him.

"Fun?" Syaoran echoed, as though the word was foreign. "W-We can't have fun, we have to keep going through the books, and –"

"The books can wait a few hours," Sakura beamed up at him, throwing her arms around his neck. Syaoran went rigid; he never knew how to cope when she pressed her body up to his like that. "Besides, I think it's bad that we've known each other so long and not really gotten to know each other. We need to have some fun together – it can't be all business and no pleasure, right?"

To his irritation that statement made him flush horribly, but thankfully she was oblivious to it.

"Please?" she pleaded, "I know I need a break, and you … well, you're way overdue."

He couldn't believe it, but she was actually using puppy dog eyes on him. "I – uh – I r-really don't think …"

"Please?" she begged again, rubbing her nose against his affectionately.

Syaoran blushed furiously, unable to fathom how Sakura was the one person, the only person able to get around his defences like this, every time. "W-Well, I-I-I … I guess it wouldn't hurt to –"

"YATTA!" Sakura cried, grabbing his hand and virtually sprinting to the door. "Oh, this is going to be so great – I _promise_ you'll have a good time. We'll do loads of really fun things! You won't regret it, I swear!"

How could he regret anything that made her this happy?

Sakura shot him another dazzling smile, before calling out, "Bye, Hana-chan!" as she pulled him out of the door.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Hana shouted back slyly.

Sakura poked her head round the door, stuck her tongue out, then took off again, Syaoran desperately trying to keep up behind her.

**xxx**

Syaoran shot her an almost disgusted look as he found himself on the first floor of the Mitsukoshi department store. "You're idea of fun is making me go _clothes shopping_?" he asked in horror.

Sakura burst out laughing. "No! We need to get you a change of clothes – you can't go where I'm taking you in a designer suit! We'll buy something new here, you can get changed, we'll dump your suit at the apartment or your hotel – whichever's closest – then we'll jump on the bullet train."

"Where _are _you taking me?" Syaoran asked suspiciously.

She beamed, waving at someone over his shoulder. "Fuji-Q High Land."

Syaoran's face fell. "Are you serious?"

"Deadly serious," she beamed. "You're going on everything – that includes all the roller coasters, even the Fujiyama."

"I – what … b-but …" he stammered uselessly, but she was already off greeting the person she'd waved at earlier.

Syaoran watched somewhat jealously as she threw herself into the arms of an incredibly good looking young man, dressed in the Mitsukoshi uniform, before turning to introduce him. "Syaoran-kun, this is my friend Yoshiro-kun – we used to work together here, years ago. He'll find you something cute quicker than I ever could."

"I don't _want _something _cute_ …" Syaoran ground out.

Yoshiro ignored him, looking him up and down as if he was the eight wonder of the world. "Sakura-chan, he's just _scrummy_. Where did you find him and where can I get one?"

Syaoran blushed, feeling distinctly uncomfortable, but Sakura just laughed. "Oh, we're just friends."

"_Why?" _Yoshiro asked in disbelief.

Sakura laughed. "Come on, clothes!"

She seized both of their arms and began to pull them towards a display of casual clothing, as Yoshiro asked, "If you don't want him, can I have him?"

"Syaoran-kun's straight ..." Sakura told him, before turning to Syaoran curiously. "Well, I never asked but I think he is –"

"I'm straight!" Syaoran yelled defensively, wincing as everyone in a ten metre radius turned to look at him. Sakura burst into giggles, and Syaoran groaned dejectedly. "I think I'd prefer Daidouji to this …"

"Shhh!" Sakura hissed, her eyes suddenly wide with horror. "Don't mention Tomoyo-chan! She'd kill me if she knew I had another shopping partner!"

"It's terrible, isn't it?" Yoshiro sighed heavily, kissing Sakura on the nose before flouncing off to rifle through a rail of jeans. "I'm her dirty little secret!"

"Yoshiro-kun!" Sakura wailed, blushing furiously.

"Oh hush, you know you love it. Now, take a seat and let me work my magic!"

Yoshiro snatched up several items of clothing and thrust them at Syaoran, rounding him into the changing rooms and flapping his hands at him. The second the man was out of sight, Yoshiro took a seat beside Sakura, his eyebrows raised to his hairline.

"Spill," he ordered.

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked, frowning in confusion. "He's a friend of mine – he's in town for a while and we're going to an amusement park, but all he has are suits," she explained, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. "That's all!" she added defensively.

"Oh please," Yoshiro rolled his eyes. "You're taking this guy on a date! What happened to your boyfriend? Did you chuck him?"

"NO!" Sakura cried indignantly.

"Shame. There's no _heat _between you and Motomiya," Yoshiro mused.

"W-What?" she spluttered. "I – of course there is …"

Yoshiro rolled his eyes. "Darling, if you've never fantasised about shoving him against a wall, smothering him in chocolate and licking it off, there's no heat."

Sakura's face was practically glowing. "I don't think like that!"

"Everyone does," Yoshiro shrugged. "I bet you can imagine covering that gorgeous specimen in chocolate," he mused, pointing in the direction of the changing rooms.

"I – that's not – I never … Yoshiro-kun!" Sakura wailed.

Yoshiro laughed. "So you have thought about it?"

"No!" she cried, "But now I am!"

"Mmmm … me too," he grinned.

Sakura hit him on the arm.

"You know I love you," Yoshiro laughed. "And I want you to be happy. You're not happy with Motomiya. You walk in with this guy and you have this whole … happy, sparkly thing going on. Tell me I'm wrong."

"You're not … wrong … exactly …" Sakura muttered reluctantly. "But maybe Tai and me just need time …"

"Why spend time on a floundering relationship when you've stumbled across a _god_ who worships you?" asked Yoshiro.

Sakura blushed. "He doesn't worship me -!"

"Oh please!" Yoshiro snorted. "You should see the way he looks at you! You're blind to it, because you're Sakura-chan – and I wouldn't have you any other way. But I'm telling you, this guy adores you. And he wants you, though he hides it well."

"Don't," Sakura scowled. "Don't talk about him like that. Syaoran-kun is very honourable."

Yoshiro raised his eyebrows. "So he hasn't made a move on you?"

"_No!"_

"Well I never …" he murmured, looking vaguely stunned. "Hot as hell and a gentleman. How on earth are you resisting this guy?"

"Yoshiro-kun …" Sakura said warningly.

"And look at this!" Yoshiro continued, completely ignoring her as he lunged for Syaoran's abandoned suit jacket. "Armani. _Armani_, Sakura-chan! Money, taste … you've met the perfect man!"

"Stop it," Sakura said firmly, not wanting Yoshiro to confuse her more by voicing her own thoughts out loud. "I lo – I like Tai-kun a lot. And Syaoran-kun is a friend of mine! There's nothing wrong with two friends having a day out together!"

"There is with the amount of sexual tension between you two," Yoshiro retorted bluntly.

Sakura flushed hotly. "There's no sexual tension!"

Syaoran chose this moment to emerge in the first outfit that Yoshiro had picked for him, scowling furiously. "Is it me, or are these jeans too tight?" he asked pointedly, glaring at the sales assistant.

Yoshiro shrugged. "I think they look fine. Sakura-chan?"

Sakura's mouth flapped wordlessly for a few minutes as she took in Syaoran's appearance. Those jeans really left nothing to the imagination – and she winced in horror as she realised she was checking him out. But she couldn't help herself. Syaoran really was absolutely stunning. Yoshiro had put him in a brown t-shirt that made his hair look darker and his eyes an even deeper shade of amber, and his body was …

Syaoran was looking at her oddly, and Sakura blushed furiously as she realised her mouth was hanging open. She snapped it shut, lowering her eyes to the floor.

"Oh fine," Yoshiro huffed, throwing another pair of jeans to Syaoran and effectively breaking the silence. "But my vote's still with the first pair."

When Syaoran disappeared again, Yoshiro turned to Sakura with a grin. "You're thinking about the chocolate again, aren't you?"

"… No," Sakura denied weakly.

Yoshiro started laughing to himself. "No sexual tension, huh?"

**xxx**

And so it was that Syaoran found himself standing at the entrance of Fuji-Q amusement park, dressed in jeans, a brown t-shirt and trainers, watching in amusement as Sakura bounced all around him.

"Oh, look how _cute _everything is!" she enthused, "We have to go on the teacups and the merry-go-round and the Ferris wheel –"

"And the House of Executions?" Syaoran cut in pointedly.

Sakura swallowed nervously. "Maybe save that one 'til last?"

Syaoran laughed. "Come on. We'd better start queuing."

To begin with, Syaoran found the trip a bit awkward. Firstly because it was too much like a date – she held his hand, and flirted with him, and made them take pictures together – and secondly because he couldn't help remembering that the last day he'd spent with Sakura – _really _spent with her – had been at the amusement park in Tomoeda. He couldn't help but be angry with himself as he remembered how he'd wasted the day blushing and avoiding her eye. If he'd know it would be their last day he would have treasured every second.

Then it occurred to him that he was wasting this day too, dwelling on things that couldn't be changed. So he let himself get swept up in Sakura's spirit and enthusiasm, accepting her hugs and her teasing and the food she insisted on feeding him, and genuinely having fun.

Except when she tried to drag him on the Fujiyama roller coaster. Then he acted like a baby.

"Come on, come on!" she squealed, flinging herself forward as the ride attendant released the rope. "Let's sit at the front!"

"No …" Syaoran moaned, trying to pull her back. But somehow he was no match for an over-excited Sakura, who virtually pushed him into the front seat before leaping in after him. He vaguely recalled her doing the same thing when they'd bumped into each other at an amusement park when they were small – of course, they'd had Yukito and Meiling with them, so it wasn't quite the same. But he'd still been forced to sit beside her, screaming his head off the whole time. Even back then he couldn't say no to her.

Syaoran smiled slightly, lost in the memory. "Why do you always do this to me?"

"Hoe?" Sakura said in confusion, tilting her head slightly. She looked so cute, Syaoran couldn't help but laugh.

He wasn't laughing five minutes later.

"I'm going to throw up," he moaned as he staggered off the ride, Sakura laughing so hard she nearly fell over.

"Y-Your face!" she choked. "I've never seen anyone look so … so …"

"Petrified?" he suggested shortly, causing her to go off into another round of giggles.

He went off to buy them both an ice cream, coming back with a strawberry cone covered in sprinkles for her. Sakura gave him an odd look, wondering how he had guessed her favourite ice cream … then she looked down at her own newest purchase and began grinning evilly.

"What?" Syaoran asked, a little frightened.

She held up one of the novelty photographs that the amusement parks always took of everyone on the worst loop of the worst roller coaster. His face fell as he saw the picture of him, white-faced and screaming in horror.

"Give it to me," he said threateningly, advancing on her.

"No," Sakura smiled.

"I said, hand it over," Syaoran repeated.

When he was close enough, Sakura shoved her ice cream cone in his face and ran for it.

The chase didn't last very long, and Syaoran caught up to her and seized her round the waist. She didn't appear very frightened, and she was laughing hysterically as she flicked the remains of his ice cream at his face. He hauled her up in his arms (his ice cream dropped down the front of her top in the process) and held her over a nearby water fountain, threatening to drop her in.

"No, don't!" she squealed, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, clinging to him like a limpet. People were starting to watch them out of the corners of their eyes, smiling at the antics of what appeared to be a normal, cute couple.

"Are you gonna destroy the picture?" he asked dangerously.

Sakura nodded quickly. "Yes! I promise, I'll burn it as soon as I get home!"

She shifted awkwardly in his arms, and Syaoran swallowed nervously as he realised just how close he was holding her. "Um – g-g-good," he stammered, setting her on her feet and beginning to walk in the direction of a much less nauseating ride.

"Oh," Sakura moaned, pulling at the neckline of her top as she surveyed the chocolate ice cream stains all over the fabric. "Look at this …"

She pulled it a little too much, causing Syaoran to trip over his own feet as he caught sight of her bra for the second time in less than a week.

She watched him with an amused smile. "I think this trip might end up being a little too much for you."

He had no idea if she was implying anything or not. With Sakura it was hard to tell.

Syaoran didn't react a lot better to the Red Tower, one of the rides that sat you down and hauled you upwards before dropping you a hundred feet. They went on the go karts, where Syaoran got into an unofficial racing competition with an eight-year-old boy. They went on the Birdmen water ride, getting completely soaked through. Sakura figured since they were already wet, they may as well make the most of it, and so they went on it three times in a row.

Then Syaoran had to drag Sakura into the Ge-Ge-Ge-No Kitaro Haunted House ride, where she sat beside him, shaking terribly before the ride even started.

"You know it's not real," he reassured her gently.

"I-I know," Sakura stammered, looking around her apprehensively. "I – I just don't like ghosts …"

_She was looking at him with wide eyes filled with tears, eyes that pulled on his heart strings no matter how much he tried to ignore her. "Is it a ghost?" she asked desperately, completely terrified. "Is a ghost making Tomoyo-chan and everyone else disappear?"_

"_That's not it," he said gruffly – he didn't know how else to act. "Calm down and feel the presence properly."_

_She gasped. "It's a Clow Card!" she cried, as behind them the burning bridge crashed into the water._

"I know you don't," Syaoran said gently, ignoring the odd look she gave him as their little cart jerked into motion.

The first time something popped out, Sakura screamed louder than the small children near the front. The second time she launched herself out of her seat and into Syaoran's lap, throwing her arms around him and wailing hysterically, "I want to get off!"

"S-Sakura …" Syaoran stuttered, his hands flailing at his sides as he looked for somewhere safe to put them. "I-It's not real …"

"I don't like it!" she shouted.

"Um …" As always, it was incredibly difficult to think with her on top of him. "Just don't look at it. It'll be over soon."

She nodded, and he assumed she was going to extricate herself and then cover her eyes. Instead she remained kneeling where she was, one leg either side of his lap, and buried her face into his neck.

Needless to say, Syaoran found this position rather awkward. The fact that she was sitting in his lap was bad enough. The fact that her chest was at eye level and she was wearing nothing but a low cut tank top – and she was still wet from the Birdmen – made the situation ten times worse. And oh god, she was still covered in the ice cream from before … how much torture could one person take?

"_I think this trip might end up being a little too much for you."_

She shifted in his lap, and Syaoran breathed deeply, determined not to react. He inhaled and exhaled, trying to place himself into a calm, meditative state.

"Is it nearly over?" Sakura whimpered, her eyes tightly screwed shut.

"God I hope so," he muttered in reply.

Syaoran wound up closing his eyes for the most part of the ride too.

By the time they'd ridden everything as often as they wanted, eaten in two restaurants and played a few arcade games, it was eight o'clock and night had well and truly fallen.

"The park closes in an hour," Syaoran observed, thoroughly depressed that their day was coming to an end. "Maybe we should get going."

"Oh, let's do one more ride!" Sakura begged, and he was comforted to think that she was as reluctant to end the trip as he was. "Look – the Shining Flower is all lit up now! Oh, let's go on that! Please, Syaoran-kun?"

He smiled at her, following her obediently to the Ferris wheel. They sat down as the ride started up, and Sakura pressed her hands to the glass in wide-eyed awe, gazing at the lights below.

"I think I can see Tokyo," she mused.

"We're miles away from Tokyo," Syaoran grinned.

Sakura shrugged. "I always liked looking for my house on top of Ferris wheels. I could see it from the amusement park in Tomoeda."

She kicked off her sandals and placed her feet in his lap, and he looked down at them, taking in the chipped pink nail polish and the wiggling toes. Caught up in the moment, Syaoran placed his hands on her ankles, relishing in her warmth and the soft skin … surely there was nothing wrong with this? Such an innocent little touch?

He sighed heavily, unable to help remembering the last time they'd been on a Ferris wheel together. It was odd that she was so much more comfortable with him now, when he was a virtual stranger, than she had been back then … back when she'd stuttered and stammered, trying so hard to tell him …

"_Syaoran-kun?"_

_He smiled at her, sure that he knew what she was going to say. "What is it?"_

_Sakura swallowed, her face flaming red as she twisted her skirt in her hands. "I … I … I think of you as –"_

"Stop," Sakura scolded, poking him in the stomach with her bare toes. "Stop thinking about whatever it is that makes you make that face."

"I'm making a face?" he asked in surprise.

Sakura got up from her seat and sat beside him. "The frown lines are back in all their glory," she teased, tucking an arm loosely round his waist before sighing heavily, suddenly serious. "What happened to you?"

"How am I supposed to stop making the face if I answer that?" Syaoran replied evasively.

To his surprise, Sakura smiled at him. "You're right. Let's not ruin the day." She leaned her head comfortably against his shoulder, tucking her bare feet beneath her as they both gazed out at the lights below. "But one day … one day you'll tell me, and I promise I'll make it all better for you. Just like how you're trying to fix me."

His instincts taking over, Syaoran wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her tightly against his chest. "We'll fix each other," he agreed softly, slowly stroking her hair with his free hand.

Syaoran didn't know what he was doing. This wasn't him. He didn't act like this – he certainly didn't act like this with another man's girlfriend. But today … today she was his, and it wasn't like they were doing anything wrong. It wasn't like he was kissing her, or telling her how he felt about her, or doing anything that threatened her future happiness or her relationship. He was just being truthful, revelling in her and what could have been between them.

Just for today, he wanted to pretend that he and Sakura had got their happy ending.

**xxx**

Sakura felt a little abashed as the two of them entered the lobby of Syaoran's hotel, both wet and dirty and covered in ice cream stains. "You should have let me get the subway home," she said embarrassedly, "I look all wrong here."

"Well then so do I," Syaoran retorted, leading her over to the plush couches opposite the reception desk.

"But it's different, I – I mean, you're a guest here," Sakura protested.

"Stop worrying," Syaoran soothed her, "I'm not letting you get the subway this late. I'll call you a cab then you can wait for it in here."

"I really don't need a cab –"

"Please?" he insisted. "_I'll _feel better if I know you're in a cab."

"O-Okay," Sakura agreed, still looking round nervously. "I just – these people might not like me hanging round here looking like this."

Syaoran nearly cringed when he saw how uncomfortable she was around the sorts of people he associated with. "Well, if you prefer you could wait up in my room …" He trailed off, blushing furiously as he realised that sounded like a corny line used at the end of a date to get a woman into bed. "Ah! N-Not that I'm implying – or that – I mean, not that I wouldn't want – no! No, I just meant … j-just to wait – nothing else. At all."

She blushed furiously, but couldn't help but giggle. "I knew what you meant."

"O-Oh." Syaoran suddenly found the floor very interesting. "Maybe we should stay here then?"

"Probably best," she grinned shyly.

He drew out his cell phone and called a local cab company, watching her out of the corner of his eye as he did so. Over the years, the more perceptive of the Elders had berated him for remaining so firmly attached to what they saw as such a plain, ordinary girl, when all the beautiful women of high society were available to him. But even now, when she sat in a hotel lobby looking the way she did, surrounded by elegant girls in expensive dresses and diamonds with perfectly coiffed hair, he knew there was no comparison. There never could be.

As if to reaffirm what he was thinking, Sakura laid her head comfortably against his shoulder, looking like she was half asleep. His family would never get it. No other girl alive would ever be able to make his heart race and his stomach flip like Kinomoto Sakura could.

"Cab'll be here in about ten minutes," he murmured in her ear, feeling almost as tired as she looked. "Can you hold on that long?"

"M'not asleep," she mumbled in protest, drawing herself off his shoulder and rubbing her eyes.

Syaoran couldn't help but smile at how adorable she was. "Thank you," he said quietly, leaning across and taking her hand. "For such an amazing day."

"It really was amazing," she beamed back, squeezing his hand slightly. "You promise me you'll start taking days off when you go home?"

"I promise," he replied, feeling oddly hollow at the thought of going back into the lonely world that was devoid of her light and spirit.

Sakura sighed heavily. "I thought you weren't going to make the sad face," she said. "You've gone nearly the whole day without it."

"You make me stop feeling sad," he told her boldly.

She smiled gently at him. "You make me stop feeling empty."

Syaoran looked more than a little surprised at that, and Sakura reached a hand up to gently stroke his cheek. "There's always been this hole in me; this strange gap that hurt when I thought about it too much. But with you … with you it goes away, and I'm warm, and … I'm happy."

"I'm glad," he replied, his voice oddly croaky. "You deserve to be happy."

"So do you," Sakura said.

Then, before either of them could truly contemplate what was happening, Sakura leaned up and pressed her lips to his.

She sat for several seconds, unable to get over the swooping feeling in her stomach and the heat that spread across every inch of her skin. This was it. This was what it was supposed to be like. They hadn't even moved their lips yet, and she was already feeling light-headed and oh so warm. Sakura gently moved forward, pressing butterfly kisses to his closed lips, wanting more than anything for him to respond to her, to take her higher. But he sat completely still, stiff and resolute, and the thought that he might not want this started to emerge in her hazy mind.

Syaoran tried to hold back – he really, truly did. This was wrong; she had a boyfriend, and she was only doing this because he was the missing part of her soul, he was sure of it. But when the woman you've loved for ten years presses her lips to yours …

Sakura started to pull away, disheartened by his lack of response. Then to her surprise, Syaoran laid his hand on the back of her neck, drawing her closer to him and placing his lips back over her own. Elation swept through Sakura as she opened her mouth for him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck as she pressed her body against his. Their tongues reached out and met, duelling frantically as Syaoran's hands came to rest on the small of her back, causing tingles to erupt across the skin there. She'd never felt anything like this, and she knew she never would again … not with Tai, not with anyone.

_Tai!_

Sakura's eyes widened, and then suddenly she ripped her mouth away, gasping for breath as she moved away from him to the farthest end of the couch. Syaoran watched her, confusion evident in his eyes as he tried to figure out what he'd done wrong … then the fantasy shattered, and he buried his head in his hands, unable to believe what he'd just done.

Sakura watched him recoil, feeling completely heartbroken. She'd just kissed the stranger who'd come to help her – she'd kissed someone who wasn't her boyfriend. And worse, she'd felt more ecstasy from that one kiss than she ever had with Tai … even with all their kisses combined. Even now she wanted to pull Syaoran back, to beg him to kiss her again and give her back the warmth and the butterflies …

She gasped in horror, her hands flying to her mouth as a sick feeling began to burn in her stomach. She couldn't understand what had just happened, why she was thinking such terrible things – she didn't cheat, she would never cheat on Tai! And yet … with Syaoran … She just couldn't help herself. It was like her body had moved on its own …

Syaoran cell phone gave one short ring, bringing them both out of their stupor.

"Oh God," she whimpered from behind her hands, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. "O-Oh … I'm sorry, I'm so, _so_ sorry … I didn't mean that …"

"Of course not," Syaoran said sadly, unable to look at her.

"I didn't mean to …" Sakura insisted, before breaking off and sobbing pitifully. "No, I'm lying. I did mean it. Oh, it was awful of me, but I did … I meant it with all my heart …"

"Your cab's here," Syaoran said gently.

"I know I should regret it," Sakura whispered. "I know I should hate myself for kissing you, but I … you must hate me."

Syaoran shook his head. "I could never hate you."

"What is this?" she murmured in awe. "You and me … what's happening between us?" She looked at him desperately. "What's happening to me? How can you make me feel like this?"

He hung his head. "I can't answer that."

She sat there for some time, staring at him blankly. Then finally she stumbled to her feet and ran out of the hotel lobby, unable to look at him any more.

Back up in his room, a stunned Syaoran pressed a shaking hand to his lips as he tried to get his head round just what had happened. He'd been so good, so careful – and he'd thrown all of that away in the space of about a minute. And now he'd hurt her. Which was the last thing he wanted.

"_You and me … what's happening between us?"_

"I don't know, Sakura," Syaoran murmured, more to himself than anything. "I just don't know."

**A/N:** So yeah. There's the bare minimum of angst. –rubs hands together– Now all I need to do is get Tai out of the picture so they can kiss in peace!

Just thought I'd throw in that the places I've used, i.e. Mitsukoshi and Fuji-Q, are very much real places – even the amusement rides are accurate – and I do not own them. I don't know who does, but it's certainly not me.

And yes, parma-chan's a geek.


	10. Consequences

**Void**

**A/N:** *blinks* What's this? An actual _update_? No, surely it can't be possible?

I know, I know, I'm a bad person. Real life has been kicking my ass this last year – I got promoted, I started my dissertation, blah blah blah. But I missed my fic. And I missed Sakura and Syaoran. And so I'm back, and I'm utterly determined to see this thing through no matter how long it takes.

Just to warn you, the next couple of chapters may be a bit awkward. It's taking me a while to get back into this, plus my writing style's changed a bit, so please bear with me. I'll try to make it as less jarring as possible!

**Dedicated to:** Those of you who over the last year have continued reviewing and messaging, asking me when I was going to get my act together and update already! I swear, as sappy as it sounds, it made me smile every time I got one of those e-mails. And it made me more determined than ever to get this out. You know who you are, and I appreciate it more than I can say. So yeah. This is for you guys :)

**Chapter Ten: Consequences**

"Wow. You look like death."

Sakura smiled weakly, and waved at Hana. "Good morning."

"Morning," Hana grinned. "What were you up to last night? Crazy party? All-night rave? Do any body shots off handsome men whose numbers you've oh-so-kindly brought back for me?"

"No, sorry," Sakura mumbled, trying to smile again before heading towards the staff room door.

"Whoah, hold it," Hana said sharply, grabbing her friend by the shoulder and hauling her backwards. "Usually you'd be fire-engine red by now. What gives?"

Sakura laughed, trying to duck around Hana. "Nothing, I'm fine –"

"Don't even," Hana scolded, pulling her back. "I wasn't kidding when I said you looked like hell. What's happened? You look like you didn't sleep at all last night."

"I slept!" Sakura protested.

Lies. She hadn't slept at all. She'd spent the entire night sobbing in Tomoyo's arms, wailing about what an awful, horrible person she was. A person who'd managed to cheat on her sweetheart of a boyfriend, and push away her one saving grace, in a moment of selfish weakness.

"Sakura-chan …" Hana whispered as the girl's eyes welled up. "Oh, honey, what is it?"

"Don't," Sakura choked, stepping backwards as Hana tried to put an arm around her. She didn't deserve anyone's comfort or sympathy. "Please. I'm okay."

"Are you sure you should be here?" Hana asked her sternly.

Sakura nodded furiously, blinking the moisture in her eyes away. "Of course, Hana-chan," she insisted, "I'll just put my stuff out back and then I'll be on the floor. Good as new. I promise."

Narrowing her eyes, Hana quickly threw several shots of espresso into a mug and topped it up with milk before handing it to her friend. "Go sit out back, and I don't want to see you until you've drank all this. Kenji-san's in the office, so don't worry about him."

"But …" Sakura murmured, staring blankly at the mug. "I don't want to leave you short handed …"

"Sakura-chan – go," Hana ordered, giving her a gentle push.

She didn't miss the way Sakura glanced sadly at an empty table near the back of the store – the table where Syaoran usually sat.

**xxx**

_She kissed me._

Syaoran was sitting on his bed in his hotel room, fully dressed, staring blankly at his own hands. For the first time in his life he was completely unsure of himself, and he hated it. He hated not being in control. But he really, truly didn't know what to do any more.

_She kissed me, but she didn't know what she was doing._

Did he dare show up at the coffee shop? Should he go to Sakura and Tomoyo's apartment? Or would it be more prudent to stay at his hotel and work from there? Would she even want him near her after yesterday?

_She was just looking for comfort, for warmth. It didn't mean anything. It wasn't about me._

Or maybe he was better off cutting his losses and leaving now. Maybe he ought to be selfish and go. After all, she could never, ever be with him the way he needed her to be. What was the point in staying here and being tempted? Why was he torturing himself like this?

_Just because her body is attracted to mine doesn't mean she can love me._

Syaoran drew his knees to his chest, sitting much like a little boy as he reached for his wallet and opened it with trembling hands. Tucked away in the folds of Italian leather was a tiny picture, taken in a photo booth. His eleven-year-old self was at the back, pressed flat against the wall as his cousin Meiling virtually strangled him in a hug. Tomoyo was beaming, happily pointing that damned video camera at them all while that stupid plush toy hovered about making the victory sign. And then … then there was Sakura, standing at the side, giggling helplessly at all of them.

She wasn't beautiful – not in the same way she was now, but still utterly adorable. And he hadn't known it at that point … he'd just stumbled along blindly, wondering why he blushed when she said certain things, unable to understand why her safety had suddenly taken precedence over everything else, even the Clow Cards.

And now he'd been kissed by her.

_It didn't mean anything._

Syaoran shook his head, staring determinedly at the photograph of her in his hands. This was Sakura. _Sakura._ She wouldn't kiss him if he didn't mean something to her.

_You're nothing, not even a memory._

The little girl in the picture beamed up at him, and Syaoran was struck by a sudden desire to see her. It didn't matter if she shot him down; he couldn't just walk away again.

Not before finding out if he had a chance.

**xxx**

"Oi, Suzuki!"

Hana looked up, shocked to be addressed so rudely, but rolled her eyes when she saw who it was. "Buzz off, Shiori-san," she sighed. "Don't you have some rich old man you should be seducing?"

Shiori scowled. "Why are you giving Kinomoto-san breaks before she's even started? You're not the boss here."

"Oh, don't get me started on how many times Sakura-chan has covered for your sorry ass," Hana shot back.

"I'm telling Kenji-san," Shiori announced.

Hana flicked a coffee bean at the girl, which bounced off the middle of her forehead. "You do, and I'm writing in the men's bathroom that you're actually a guy in drag."

"Oooooh!" Shiori squealed in rage. "I could just – just –" She trailed off as the front door pinged, and a smile slid across her face as Tai walked in. "Never mind." She beamed. "This should be good, anyway. It's only a matter of time 'til that little two-timer Kinomoto gets found out."

"What did you just say?" Hana demanded, slamming her order book down on the counter as she glowered at Shiori. "You listen to me, you jumped up, spoiled rotten, selfish, immature little _bi –_"

"Um, hi?" Tai interrupted awkwardly.

"Tai-kun!" Hana beamed. "Hi, how are you? Shiori-san, get Tai a latte."

"But I'm not on the coffee machines –"

"I mean it, Shiori," Hana cut in menacingly. "Or I'm heading into the men's room with a permanent marker."

Tai blinked as Shiori began stomping about, making his coffee. "Um, I was actually hoping I could catch Sakura-chan? I thought maybe I could have a quick chat with her before I headed out to work."

"She's just out back," Hana said – she knew she was smiling too much, but she couldn't seem to stop. "She'll be through in a minute."

"Okay …" Tai said slowly, taking the latte Shiori held out to him. "I'll just be over there then. Thanks for the coffee."

Hana smiled and waved, just as Sakura hurried out of the staff room. "Hey," she smiled at her friend. "Feeling better?"

"I'm okay," Sakura said. She had her normal, happy face back on, but Hana could see that it didn't quite meet her eyes. "But thank you."

"No problem," Hana replied. "Uh … I don't know how this fits into your plans for the day, but Tai's over in the corner."

Sakura gasped, carefully keeping her back to him so he couldn't see the expression on her face. "What? Why?"

Hana frowned in confusion. "He wants to say hi to his girlfriend."

"Oh," Sakura moaned. "Oh god, I'm so awful … I don't deserve him …"

"Sakura-chan, what are you talking about?" Hana asked worriedly, before glancing over at Syaoran's usual table. "Does this have anything to do with the fact that tall dark and handsome is absent this morning?"

"I – I don't …" Sakura stammered, anxiously wringing her hands. "I'm not sure he'll be coming by any more. I did something stupid."

"What?"

"I – um …" Her stomach churned as she thought about the night before – the horrible, terrible thing she'd done to Tai. The kiss that she knew she should regret but couldn't, _couldn't_, because for those few minutes everything that was so wrong in her world had inexplicably been fixed and made whole again.

"Honey, you really don't look well," Hana aid anxiously. "You need to go home – I'll just tell Tai-kun you got sick …"

"No," Sakura cut her off. "No. Thank you, Hana-chan, but I'm fine."

She wasn't ten years old any more. She was a grown woman, and it was her job to fix her own problems.

Sakura hurried over to her boyfriend as quickly as possible, smiling brightly in an attempt to cover up her guilt. "Tai-kun!" she exclaimed happily. "How are you? Have you got everything you need? Want another coffee?"

He looked a little taken aback, but still seemed pleased to see her. "I'm fine, thanks," he assured her, taking her hand playfully. "Just missing my girlfriend."

"Oh, Tai-kun," Sakura sighed, biting her lip. "I've been terrible – how long has it been since I last saw you?"

"Too long," Tai replied with a grin.

"I know," she said, fidgeting guiltily. "I've been bad …"

"Extremely," he teased.

Sakura flushed. He had no idea.

"So I was thinking," Tai continued brightly. "Maybe we could go out tomorrow night? I've got tickets to see a new play at the New National Theatre, it's supposed to be really good."

Her eyes widened. "Oh, I – I don't know …"

"Come on," he pleaded. "We haven't been out in so long, and you need a break from – this thing – whatever it is you're dealing with. You look so tired. Come out with me and forget about it for a night."

"It's not the sort of thing I can forget about," Sakura sighed.

"You need some time out," Tai said firmly, "I'm worried about you."

Guilt began to squirm fiercely in Sakura's stomach. "Oh, Tai-kun … please, please don't worry about me …"

"Of course I'm going to worry about you, you're my girlfriend!" he cried, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. He got to his feet, kissing her forehead and stroking her cheek softly with his hand. "Please, Sakura-chan … let me in. Let me take care of you."

The guilt was paramount now, and Sakura knew she was going to have to tell him before she burst into tears. It was hardly the ideal place, but she couldn't let him carry on being so sweet and caring without knowing what she'd done.

"Tai-kun," she interrupted, gently moving his hand away. "I – I have to tell you something."

He smiled understandingly at her. "Sure."

"It's – oh, God …" she mumbled, feeling her hands starting to shake. "You have to know how sorry I am – I really am so, so sorry …"

Tai was watching her with worried eyes now. "Sakura-chan, what do you -?"

Suddenly, without warning, all the lights in the shop flickered and died. If it had been sunny, the problem would have been manageable, but the skies outside were so miserably cloudy that only those tables closest to the windows got the tiniest bit of light. Groans echoed from several disgruntled customers, and a general annoyed chatter started up.

Kenji came hurrying out of the office, looking at the staff accusingly. "What happened? Who touched what?"

"Honestly, boss, you really have no faith in us, do you?" Hana pouted.

Kenji glared at her. "This isn't a power cut. See?" he pointed out of the window. "None of the other buildings are having this problem."

Hana shrugged. "Maybe a fuse has gone or something?"

"Ah … bear with us, everyone!" Kenji announced, flashing a bright grin at the customers who were tapping their fingers impatiently on their tables. "The power will be back on shortly, I'm sure – in the meantime enjoy your drinks, and we'll pass around some free biscotti!" He turned to the staff, who had all grouped around him waiting for instructions. "I'll call the electric company on my cell phone," he sighed, "Get that biscotti round, and if you need me shout."

Hana grinned at Sakura happily. "How many pieces do you reckon we can swipe without it looking suspicious?" Sakura didn't answer her, and Hana frowned when she saw how white she looked. "Hey, what's up? Afraid of the dark?"

Sakura wrapped her arms around her stomach, peering around apprehensively. "Something's not right."

"What?" Hana asked, looking confused. "Hon, it's just a power outage –"

"No, it's not," Sakura said firmly.

_It's her_, she thought, panic tightening around her chest.

Void had done something to the power lines – she could feel her aura everywhere. Unease settled itself like a lead weight in her stomach, and Sakura found herself instinctively looking for Syaoran, even though she knew he wasn't there.

_Don't you see? I'm everywhere._

Sakura's head shot up, her eyes wide with panic. "What?"

The voice laughed. _I warned you. Everything you hold dear …_

"Sakura-chan?"

_Everyone you love …_

"Stay away from them!"

"Sakura-chan? What's the matter with you?"

"I …" Sakura turned to Hana, grasping at her hands. "You can't hear her?"

"Sweetheart, you're not well," Hana said soothingly. "You weren't well when you came in today – why don't you sit down and I'll get you a glass of water?"

_How does it feel, mistress? Knowing everything you touch is tainted? Knowing everyone you love will soon be engulfed by nothingness?_

"You don't understand! I need to find Syaoran-kun," Sakura cried frantically, almost unaware of what she was saying in her desperation to find him. "I have to –"

She was cut off by the smashing of glass.

For several seconds, everything fell into chaos. She could hear glass breaking everywhere, hear people screaming and tables scraping as people fought to get out of the way of whatever it was that was falling. Then she felt someone grab her around the waist, dragging her to the side as glass continued to rain all around her. Her eyes were screwed tightly shut, and yet she knew somehow that it was Syaoran who had pulled her out of the way.

Sakura looked up, desperate to see his face, but all she could see was his profile as he watched the reigning chaos over his shoulder. But he was here. He'd come for her, like he always did. Sakura virtually sobbed in relief, clinging to him as tight as she dared.

"What – how are you here?" she asked in disbelief.

"Keep your head down," Syaoran said bluntly, bringing his arms up to shield her face. "I was coming to see you when I felt its aura … I don't think I've ever run so fast in my life."

"You were … coming to see me?" Sakura asked in a small voice.

"Yes," Syaoran said, blushing slightly. "I didn't know ... what you wanted. Was that wrong?"

"No," she sighed in relief, clinging to him tighter. "I was so scared you might have left."

Syaoran's eyes widened, and he looked down at her in surprise. "Why?"

Her lower lip trembled. "Because of what I did."

"Look at me," he ordered.

She did as he asked, and for one moment forgot the madness around them as his eyes bored into hers.

"I will never, ever leave you again. Do you understand?"

Sakura blinked in confusion. "Again?"

And just like that, Syaoran's face closed off again. "Keep your head down," he repeated.

Obediently she buried her face into his chest, happy to relinquish her questions in exchange for the safety of his arms.

Finally, it all went quiet.

Sakura summoned up her courage and went to peer over Syaoran's shoulder, but he placed a hand on the back of her neck, keeping her head down. "Let me look first," he murmured.

Sakura promptly ignored him, her curiosity now far too much to bear.

Initially it didn't look too bad. The shelves behind the counter had all disappeared, causing the crockery to fall and shatter; that had been what made the noise. The glass all around them had obviously come from the light fixtures, which had been crafted out of glass and hung all around the store. From what Sakura could tell, the screws holding them to the ceiling must have vanished, and the fixtures had crashed to the ground. There were a few people with minor cuts and scrapes, but everyone seemed okay.

At least, they did until she saw the body of a woman, lying perfectly still as a pool of blood widened slowly around her head.

For a second, the image didn't register within her brain. Then Sakura shrieked slightly, launching herself around Syaoran and towards the fallen girl.

She felt sick when she saw who it was.

"Oh no," Sakura whimpered. "Oh, no, Shiori-chan … I'm sorry, I'm so sorry …"

Around her people were screaming and crying and shouting, but it was all fading into a blur around her as Sakura reached for one of Shiori's pale hands, cradling it against her cheek. Blood was pouring across the floor now, soaking into the fabric of her jeans, streaking across Shiori's skin and matting her hair … blood, blood … there was so much of it …

_See what you've done?_

Sakura squeezed her eyes shut, desperately trying to ignore the cold voice echoing in her head. At this point, she couldn't tell if Void was actually talking to her or if the voice was just a figment of her imagination.

"Sakura, come away," she heard a voice say behind her gently, and she looked up to see Syaoran kneeling by Shiori's shoulders.

"Syaoran-kun …" Sakura mumbled weakly, watching as he searched for a pulse and examined the wound on Shiori's head.

_You never liked her. You know you didn't. And yet look what's happened to her._

Finally Syaoran turned to her, and he attempted to smile reassuringly. "It's all right, she's just unconscious. We'll get an ambulance here and she'll be just fine."

Sakura smiled weakly, and he went back to trying to staunch the blood flowing from Shiori's wound.

_Just think … if this is what I do to the people you don't like, what will I do to those you love? Imagine what I could inflict on them, trapped in this place you know so well. How would your darling brother fare in here with me? Or your beloved father, or your best friend …?_

"Get out of my head!" Sakura shouted suddenly, pressing her hands against her eyes in frustration as she tried not to cry.

Syaoran looked up at her, frowning worriedly. "What's the matter?"

"I … she's …" Sakura stammered, feeling lost. The voice in her head was blurring her sense of reality, and she wasn't even sure what she was saying any more.

"What is it?" Syaoran repeated urgently.

"Make her be quiet," Sakura begged him suddenly. "Please, stop her saying these things."

"What things?"

"She's going to go after them, everyone," she said frantically, "She's going to destroy them – because of me, all because of me. Shiori-chan could have – she almost … what kind of monster am I? What am I doing to people?"

"Stop it," Syaoran interrupted firmly. "Sakura, none of this is your fault."

"Don't you see?" she asked desperately, feeling almost hysterical as tears began to spill down her cheeks. "Void was here! She was here, in this building! She's going to keep doing this to everyone I love until someone –"

Syaoran crawled forward, pulling Sakura to his chest and holding her tightly. "Listen to me. No one died. Everything is okay. And nothing that happened here today is your fault."

She was full out crying now, unable to stop herself, and Syaoran felt sick with guilt. He'd come here to protect her, but when it came to it there was nothing he could do except hold her and watch as the Void slowly chipped away at her sanity. He looked between her and Shiori in despair; leaving Sakura was the last thing he wanted to do, but the other girl needed medical attention and nobody in the crowd appeared to know enough to step forward and help.

"Motomiya," Syaoran called suddenly, hating what he was about to do.

Tai came forward, cringing slightly at the sight of his girlfriend in Syaoran's arms. He couldn't miss how easily Syaoran was holding her, how naturally she curled into him, as if they'd done it a thousand times before … or how she visibly tensed up as Syaoran placed the shaking girl into his arms.

"Take care of her," Syaoran ordered, and received a glare. He supposed he was a bit out of line, saying something like that to her boyfriend … but it didn't matter anyway. Tai didn't know how to take care of her, not properly.

Syaoran returned his attention to Shiori, and took the basic first aid kit someone had retrieved from behind the till. "Call an ambulance," he ordered, balling up his suit jacket and placing it behind the girl's head.

He managed to keep her stable until the paramedics arrived, and offered to ride with Shiori in the ambulance. This got him a few odd looks, but he waved them aside, pretending that she had been a great friend. After all, there were likely to be a few officials around who'd want to know how Shiori had been hurt – people he needed to buy off.

As Shiori was being strapped into a stretcher, Syaoran glanced back at Sakura. Tai was holding her gently, whispering something in her ear, but she was just gazing ahead with blank eyes, tears pouring down her cheeks.

Syaoran twitched in annoyance. He knew Tai wouldn't be able to take care of her properly. He had to stop her crying like that or she'd never calm down …

_She was in a classroom, in floods of tears because her best friend was trapped somewhere and she had no idea of how to find her. "How …" she sobbed pitifully, "How am I supposed to find Tomoyo-chan?"_

"_Don't cry!" he'd said, somewhat sharper than he'd meant to. "Nothing will come of just crying. Think about how we can get back to the classroom."_

_Her eyes were still sparkling with tears, but she nodded in agreement. "Yeah," she said softly, sending him a small smile._

Against his better judgement, he walked over to them both. "Listen to me," he told Sakura gently. "Don't cry. Crying won't solve anything." Then he took her hand in his, smiling slightly. "Everything will definitely be all right."

She looked at him in wide-eyed surprise, as though trying to recall when she'd heard those words before. Then she nodded slightly, squeezing his hand back. "Everything will definitely be all right," she echoed weakly.

Syaoran smiled for her one more time; he could feel Tai glare at him but he didn't care. Didn't that boy understand that Sakura was all that mattered?

Briskly he followed the paramedics out of the shop, swinging himself into the ambulance and sitting beside Shiori's stretcher. Void had gone much too far this time, and he needed to think of something quickly. Something had to be done, something more than sitting around flicking through books.

If they didn't act soon, Sakura's spirit was going to be broken beyond all repair.


End file.
